Alternate Reality

Fit to be Clicked

2007-07-29T13:45:00.000-04:00

Making the Middle east safer with more guns! American foreign policy has just stepped into the twilight Zone. In a further attempt to stabilize the middle east and counter the perceived threat of Iran's Nuclear program the US will be doling out about $20 Billion in advanced weaponry, missile guidance systems, upgraded fighter jets and naval ships to Saudi Arabia and other 'moderate' Arab states and they were even nice enough to throw in an extra $30 Billion dollars Israels way to stop them from completely blowing a gasket. The old adage that an armed society is a polite society has never really applied to that particular corner of the world, so I'm not too sure that dropping $50 billion in military hardware into the region is the best idea. Once one considers that the majority of the Jihadist recruits come from these 'moderate' countries, with Saudi Arabia topping the list the wisdom of this deal becomes a bit suspect. Even some of the American people are having problems believing it.

While we are on the topic of the Middle east. A few months into the famed troop surge that was to bring peace and tranquility to the shattered Iraq,( or Baghdad at the very least) how are things going? Sean Smith, a filmmaker and Photographer, spent two months embedded with US troops in Baghdad and Anbar province. His video and photo documentary is harrowing. If you don't feel like being harrowed, the BBC has these friendly and colorful charts.
In other news, Rodents are Spying on Iran.

Today's food Recall. Chili that is literally Bursting with Botulism!

Stepping back from the humanity of it all now, Tori Spelling is a Reverend. A what!? You read it right, a Woman of the Cloth, is nothing is sacred anymore? After securing her credentials on the Internet, she then officiated a same sex wedding for a couple at her bed and breakfast. The whole sweet ceremony will be broadcast as part of her reality show on the Oxygen Network. While I'm thrilled for the happy couple, I think it cheapens the sacrament with a superficiality that only gays and Las Vegas Elvis wedding chapels could conceive of.

Maybe nothing is sacred anymore, Homer Simpson has upset Pagans for taunting their aroused fertility giant with a donut..or cock ring, it's hard to tell from the picture.

Giant erections, massive cock rings, you just know that was a segue into today's first list...Top ten weirdest Japanese condoms. Such and odd odd people they must be.

On the topic of superficial, people are getting down on Adam Sandlers new film, 'Chuck and Larry'. It seems people think that it is anti-gay because of the way it presents negative gay stereotypes. Now I've never been an Adam Sandler fan but even I have to say, 'Oh please, you ain't seen nothing girlfriend', to that fluff. Today's next list is Top 10 Anti-gay Gay films. Most of which will make you want to thank your parents for being thoughtful enough to conceive you after the Stonewall Riots.

On the theme of things that are both bad and good for you, new research shows that Grapefruit may cause breast cancer, but once you have cancer...it helps cure it!

It's small, but its a real transforming robot.

Unfortunately placed advertising! One would think that there would be some sort of oversight to ensure that advertising gaffs like these didn't happen, but I'm glad there isn't.

If he only had a brain... How much of brain does one really need? The wonders of the human condition never cease to amaze me. Here are 17 more things you may not know about your brain.

A car you could kill for! At least that is how Toyota-Scion is marketing it's not-so-family-car to young hipster deviant 20 somethings with a taste for murder. Sure, I'm old enough now to have been completely desensitized to things like sex, violence and mature themes in advertising, but I think Toyota might be a little out of touch with the 18-35 male demographic they are targeting with this Ad game where your 'little deviant' gets to rend 'Sheeple' to bits and use the resulting body parts to customize himself before trotting off to the scion factory which uses the blood of the aforementioned Sheeple to produce...cars. The Scions are being described by Toyota's marketers as "aggressive Looking" and "a little bad ass", but even compared to Toyota's normal line up the cars aren't anything new.

I don't know too much about art, but this is one freakin' huge rubber ducky.

After 3 years on Mars the rovers are getting bored. While a massive dust storm that has engulfed nearly the entire planet may spell doom for those plucky Mars rovers Spirit and Opportunity, they haven't given up yet. But with their ability to generate power severely compromised their time may be drawing to an end. In honor of the little robots, today last list is the Top 10 discoveries of the Mars Rovers. In related Mars news, a rover launched to the red planet by Coca-cola Corp has just confirmed that the now arid surface of Mars was once partially drenched in crystal clear refreshing Dasani.

Bible spoiler!

In other news, researchers have shown that multiple stab wounds may drastically reduce life expectancy.

Fit to be Clicked

2007-07-18T19:19:00.000-04:00

Life imitates Saw. So you deliver a pizza and then wake up with a bomb around your neck and a cryptic note telling you to rob a bank... What would you do? Well this poor guy robbed the bank and then his head exploded. The seriously disturbed woman charged with his murder is currently in jail serving time for killing her ex-boyfriend and stuffing him in a freezer for a wee bit. That aside, her attorney said prosecutors will have a difficult time proving her guilt as her two alleged co-conspirators are dead now too...

Our corner of the cosmos is looking at other corners of the cosmos, and you can help! The folks from the Galaxy Zoo Project are asking people to participate in a 'Hot-or-Not' vote of galactic proportions. They need your help to sort through pictures of a million or so galaxies to figure out what they are all about. Not only do you get to look at parts of the Universe that literally no-one has ever seen before, but you get to use time that you would otherwise waste working all in the name of scientific advancement.

Here's a new strategy in the war on terror. British release man eating badgers in Basra.

U.S. Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said in Chicago on Tuesday that the nation faces a heightened chance of an attack this summer. One would think that the Secretary of Homeland security would have some hard intelligence to back such a hysteria provoking proclamation, right? No actually. While there is no specific threat, he does have a really good hunch about it. Where does Bush find these people?

You ever noticed that whenever Bush has a problem with Congress, the administration whips up a bit of hysteria with some well timed leaks? Senior U.S. intelligence officials tell ABC News new intelligence suggests a small al Qaeda cell is on its way to the United States, or may already be here. The White House has convened an urgent multi-agency meeting for Thursday afternoon to deal with the new threat. Stepping back from the issue that this is political bullshit …you mean to tell me that Al Qaeda may already be here or are on the first flight to Boston and they are going to wait a couple of days to get around to discussing it? I guess they need time to get everyone’s lunch orders straight.

If there is one word that is so over-used these days it's 'radicalized'. Have you noticed you can 'Radicalize' just about anything and anyone these days? The ERA weren't terrorists, they were radicalised Protestants. Gay Anglican ministers? No such thing, just some Episcopalians radicalized by the homosexual agenda. Today's youth aren't narcissists or criminals, they have been radicalized by hip-hop music and Paris Hilton. And now after the London not-quite-quite bombings, we have Radicalized professionals.

But how much of a risk do they really pose? Bilal Abdullah, the 'Radicalized' doctor that built two car bombs that did not work, then proceeded to try drive a third one, (which also failed to detonate) through a reinforced cement barricade at a Scottish airport, and then even unsuccessfully tried to commit suicide by lighting himself on fire may not be the best example of a radicalized professional, but so far he's the only example we have. Was he really Radicalized or did he just have issues? Considering the sheer incompetence of the attempt, I'm leaning towards issues. After all, if Al Qaeda wanted to strike fear into Britons they have their martyrs and bombs and an array blunt instruments to do that. A doctors talents however might better lend themselves to say... more career appropriate terror. Fortunately Bilal was a dud, and radicalized professionals seem few and far between.

Considering the number of tainted food scandals in the last while, I'm far more concerned about radicalized fast food workers weaponizing hamburgers.

Ten politically incorrect truths about human nature. Why most suicide bombers are Muslim, sexual harassment isn't sexist, and why blonds really do have more fun. It's an interesting read, but it seems that human nature has a lot to do with sex.

On a completely unrelated note, here's a cool tip for making cold coffee taste good.

Talk about sending a message, a Chinese court has sentenced Chinas food safety minister to death for taking bribes and generally not looking out for the welfare of the common man. China however still blames its export woes on US importers, as they are the ones who aren't particularly looking out for the common man either. That being said, from Kitty Soo Guy to cardboard dumplings, Chinas food problems aren't new and their problems show far more on the inside then out.

Think it's uncool to be reading children's books at work? Here are some novel book covers so no one will ever know you're a closet harry Potter freak. Don't send these to the kiddies tho, a few are a wee bit over the top.

Fit to be Clicked

2007-07-06T13:01:00.000-04:00

Africa is a continent of despair and desperation. Here, eight year-olds toting AK-47s massacre whole villages and eccentric dictators feast on the organs of the opposition, believing it'll boost their mojo. Tsetse flies nibble on the eyelids of starving children who sport distended bellies like it's their birthright, not to mention the fact that by the time you finish reading this article, another six Africans will die from malaria, five from AIDS, and seventeen from poverty and hunger. Also, the wildlife is beautiful and the people like to dance and sing.

That's Africa, and apparently it's in desperate need of our help. Luckily, a few enlightened megastars from America and Europe have come to save it. But then again, from BandAid to Live8, what has 20 years of Aid actually accomplished for African countries other then bloat their bureaucracies? And why ever would some of these obviously needy people want nothing more then for Bono to just but out?

Talk about unclear on the concept. During a recent launch of Apples Iphone, a daring man steals...a reporters microphone. With all the buzz that the Iphone has received over that past while, it's a shame that these other innovative Apple products have been pushed to the curb.

The foundations of Hip Hop have been shaken to the core with the revelation that Hip Hop artists lip sync too! At a recent awards show on BET 50 Cent's voice tack cuts out and well...he just wanders around the stage aimlessly. I know it's crazy but I can't figure out why he didn't just finish singing the damn song. He does know the words to his own song right?

Whatever to do on a rainy day, why not conduct physics experiments in the kitchen? All you need is a microwave and way to much free time on your hands and you to can calculate the speed of light or create plasma with a simple wooden match and juice cup, or if you just happen to have some potassium chloride kicking around you can make gummi bears screeeeeeeeeam.

It's not like I'm pessimistic, but I do have the mug. More great demotivators from Despair Inc.

On an existential note, Are the laws of physics fine-tuned to support life? For instance, if gravity were just slightly stronger, the universe would have collapsed long before life evolved. But if gravity were a tiny bit weaker, no galaxies or stars could have formed. If the strong nuclear force had been slightly different, red giant stars would never produce the fusion needed to form heavier atoms like carbon, and the universe would be a vast, lifeless desert. Are these just happy coincidences? Princeton physicist Freeman Dyson has suggested that the universe, in some sense, "knew we were coming."

It seems Disney was right. It is a small world, after all.

Fit to be Clicked

2007-06-30T14:36:00.000-04:00

Not to understate the fact or anything, but the universe is vast. I stumbled over Nikon's Universescale while surfing around the other day. It sets up a good comparison, but for a truly far out experience, I like Space.coms way better.

On the subject of how silly website names have gotten, its the Web 2.0 site or Star Wars character quiz, can you figure them out?

On the medical front, A longstanding theory of how HIV slowly depletes the body's capacity to fight infection has been found to be mathematically unsustainable and if it were the actual case those suffering from the disease would die much sooner then they do. And in another challenge to their gospel about the disease, a new study slamming the link between male circumcision and reduced HIV transmission in heterosexual Africans is itself being slammed by HIV scientists. So much slamming for so little foreskin. Regardless of how effective circumcision may be in reducing the spread of HIV, strapping on a condom works even better, and you don't loose anything. As people are just figuring out that circumcision actually cuts off the best parts, I say use a condom and keep your willy's rides wild.

Talk about busting a nut! Hell has no wrath like that of a woman scorned and this freak job just had to go and prove it.

It seems Trojan thinks men are pigs, at least according to their Evolve ad campaign that features hogs magically transforming into hunkalicious studs with the mere purchase of one of their magical condoms. I was going to go off on a rant about it until I stumbled upon these Brazilian condom ads that just try to make women feel that way.

Talk about getting a boost! A man is suing the makers of Boost (a vitamin packed meal replacement drink), alleging that the drink gave him an erection so severe he needed to be hospitalized. Wow, and to think you can pick the stuff up at the grocery store for a fraction of the price of Viagra.

On the topic of partying, I sure wish I was there when these firefighters took on this blaze in which 2 tons of pot went up in smoke. To get an idea about what condition these boys must have been in, This video shows it all.

Ultimate fashion faux pas? Cameron Diaz visits Peru covered in communist slogans.

The concept of Gaydar is nothing new gays and straits alike have been seeming gay for thousands of years. If sexual orientation is biological, are the traits that make people seem gay innate, too? A small constellation of researchers is specifically analyzing the traits and characteristics that, though more pronounced in some than in others, not only make us gay but also make us appear gay. There is a bit to digest in this study, but I think it will help out the next time my innate gayness is challenged.

Tomb chess. Raise your undead army and take control of the graveyard.

On the topic of the dead, the archaeological find of the century, actually happened 100 years ago. The Mummy of Hatshetpsut, possibly the first documented Transvestite and the most powerful ruler of Egypt was actually discovered by Howard Carter in 1903, but left behind in the same tomb where he removed the mummy of her nurse. Archaeologists hope the mummy, which has lain unrecognised for decades, will yield clues about the mystery of her death and subsequent disappearance.

This is corn, this is corn on cocaine.

Some people are saying that the future just isn't what it is cracked up to be and this may be true. Just think about all the technology that ends up being just as annoying as useful. To start the pondering here are 7 annoying things about the future.

And you thought your job was bad?

The things kids are watching these days. Sure, there is the gratuitous violence in all those anime shows we port over from Asia, but over in Gaza...A Mickey Mouse lookalike who preached Islamic domination on a Hamas-affiliated children's television program was Martyred by Israeli soldiers in the shows final episode Friday. Talk about putting a spin on the civics lesson. And people wonder why there isn't a Gaza Disney...

Fit to be Clicked

2007-06-22T14:08:00.000-04:00

Ah, the Pyramids of Egypt, is there any other grand construction or great architecture that has survived the the march of civilization, staying the river of time and quite frankly could be called a true wonder of the world? Egypt says no! Egyptian antiquities officials are up in arms over a new move to vote in a new set of World Wonders, to the point of having the iconic tombs removed from the voting list over at New7wonders.com. I can see their point, as the Pyramids are the last surviving Wonder from the original list, that would be like putting John Lennon on American Idol. Voting for the new wonders has been fast and furious over at the New 7 Wonders Website. Surf on over and take a look, It's a vote so you can put in your thoughts on what the new wonders will be.

This site takes the concept of shadow puppets to a whole new level.

The Vatican has recently issued a Ten Commandments for Drivers. No word yet on if they are going to slip that into Exodus, Leviticus or just add a new book to the new testament were St frances, (the patron St of many types of drivers) visits the Ford factory and returns with the new laws etched into hub caps.

Ever wondered what your car would look like in a crash? Or what would happen to you if it ever did? Wonder no more, our friends over at consumer reports have posted some crash test videos of the top brands. Not for the faint of heart, or Kia drivers either for that matter.

On the topic of Space, Astronomers have recently determined the mass of our solar systems latest Planet X, Eris and found that it is actually bigger then Pluto, striking yet another blow to the now non-planet's ego. And since we are taking about planets, does anyone remember Gliese 581c? That rocky world 20 light years away that scientists determined was in its Systems 'sweet spot' and had everybody speculating about it harboring water, maybe even life or at the very least something that could pass for life. Well, they take it all back, new measurements seem to point to it being a baking hell-world, however it's close neighbour 581d may be much more welcoming. For a look at some more out of this world wolds, surf on over to space.com's list of Top 10 Exo-planets.

Cucumber Pepsi? Whatever will those wacky Japanese come up with next.

The career of Russia's newest Robo-cop ends in a fizzle and pop. Yes, I meant that to rhyme. Really more of a robo-egg with camera's, but now that we have robots working for us, cleaning for us and now policing us, it's only a matter of time before they figure out we're freeloading.

Hindu's in India are very concerned about the Ganges River. It seems that the holy waterway is under the dire threat of drying up as a result of global warming. It struck me as odd that people who have corrupted the revered river beyond the point of any salvation or restoration are scrambling now that climate change will finish off the tortured river once and for all. The religious point of view; OK it's dirty and near incapable a supporting even plant life, so long as there is water it's still holy. Practical point of view; Oh Dear now what will the poor people drink? Humanitarian point of view;Thank god it's drying up so the poor people will stop drinking it. It seems the Ganges isn't the only casualty however. Apparently Climate change is partly to blame for the ethnic conflict in Sudan’s Darfur region as well.

You know your farm might be too close to the nuclear power station when your pigs start looking like this. However you know it's time to get out of dodge when your dog has kittens.

In response to criticisms that his recent books were too 'heavy' Stephen Hawkin is taking explaining physics theories to a whole new level in his latest offering 'George's secret key to the universe' known by it's working title 'Theoretical physics for dummies'. Complete with illustrations, Dr Hawkin hopes to make this complex material readily accessible to a simpler audience.

Ah, the trouserless judge story just gets ever more laughable. For those not in the know a Washington judge is suing his dry cleaners for $67 million for loosing his pants. It seems his take is that by driving the oriental couple into poverty via court costs, he is standing up for truth justice and the American way. Well, that's not so untrue; litigation is the American way. While arguing the case for his beloved lost pants, he choked up and fled the courtroom in tears...okaaaay.

On the topic of questionable judgements, I guess these parents in India figured that you're never to young to take up the family business. So they let their 15 year old son perform a C-section.

New vibrating condoms are shaking things up over India, where people aren't quite sure if it is a prophylactic or a sex toy. I say, why see things so black and white, it's a about time that someone came up with sexual aids that are both fun and functional.

The Morning Wood: Jeremy Bloom

2007-06-16T11:34:00.000-04:00

Jeremy Bloom was born 2 April 1982, in Fort Collins Colorado USA. An Olympic skier at age 19, he started skiing when he was three. He was a competitive alpine racer before turning to moguls. He made it to the 2002 Olympics.

Fit to be Clicked

2007-06-12T14:14:00.000-04:00

No longer content with just sewing together Frankensteinian mash-ups of what nature has taken billions of years to perfect, some scientists are looking to create life from scratch, but are we ready to play god yet? If we don't who will? Is creating artificial biology really the same thing as creating life? Either way is it sacred or blasphemous. While the science itself is fascinating and the applications of custom-made microbes too numerous to count, science has accelerated to the point where the philosophers just can't keep up which poses interesting dilemmas in and of itself.

The Secret is a sham, Embrace the power of Negative thinking! The dark side has never been so pragmatic.

In a bold move to cut crime in the GBL demographic, California has started allowing over night conjugal visits for registered domestic partners. Stating that as nothing ruins a good jail fantasy like the boyfriend kicking around, Gays now have one less reason to commit crimes. Apparently Approving of this assault on this institution of Gay culture the civil liberties union has applauded the changes. On a similar vein,contrary to popular belief the U.S. military loves gays. They like them so much they even looked into creating more of them with some very unconventional weapons.

Are fast food chains deliberately misrepresenting their product or do underpaid immigrants and students just not take pride in crafting a burger that lasts forever anymore?

Maybe it is the fact that they are predators the size of a bus, but jumping sharks are just plain freaky. On a side note, researchers have discovered that these primitive predators use a very sophisticated full body nose to smell in 3D.

Is the pharmaceutical industry immoral, dishonest, corrupt or just misunderstood? With Glaxo having been sued for misrepresenting Paxil, and Merk for down playing the lethal side effects of Vioxx and now with the whole country of Nigeria suing Pfizer for killing off and a few hundred kids ( OK, to be fair some escaped with only "mild" physical deformities), in allegedly improper drug trials for an up and coming meningitis vaccine, one has to ask when is just a few flipper babies too many flipper babies?

Do diet pills cause suicidal thoughts? Possibly. However researchers may have overlooked the slim possibility that many might find having a fat distorted body quite depressing too. However, the FDA assures fat people that while North America's obesity problem has reached tragic levels, they are in no danger as a recent survey has found that they are most likely simply too fat to use standard suicide techniques to end their bloated ghastly existences.

Virtual Tourism. Explore the famed Machu Puchu via Gigapixel Technology.

It seems China just can catch a break these days, First tainted pet food, then tainted toothpaste, and now fake blood too. It's just been one consumer product scandal after another lately. Goodness people are even accusing the beleaguered country of Child labour of all things! Poo poo to them I say, China is blaming foreigners for its woes. One of the firms in question has admitted to hiring children, but not to produce Olympic merchandise; the kiddies get the puff jobs in the mines. Although here is some food for thought, did you know that 90% of those ever ubiquitous Vitamin C supplements are made in China?

This is one funky cake!

I just thought this was a cool clock, I'm not sure it will alter our perception of time or anything, but it is a nifty way to visualize it.

And so the robot uprising begins, whoever would have thought that it would be the Roomba's that brought humanity to it's knees. Those cute (yet insidious), little robots that suck are insinuating themselves into homes all over world and forcing innocent families to change their cleaning habits. In a recent turn of events, there are reports that a Roomba has recently violated all 3 laws of Roombotics. Irobot, the Roomba's manufacturer, says this so called "isolated incident", should not put off people considering purchasing one of the plucky little foot soldiers of it's mechanical army.

Just when you thought you had to rely on other people for the news, now you can just go ahead and make up your own! This fun site lets you write your own article and headline then generates a newspaper stub.

The Secret life of Mr. Lee. A cats eye view of the world.

On the topic of trivia, do you know where food comes from? Well if you don't your not alone, it seems a growing number of people in Britain don't realize that food comes from a Farm. This might very well explain the plight of farmers all over the world, people just can't figure out why the heck we need them.

I always figured peeing on an electric fence would be more theatrical, but I just love the way he falls over.

The Morning Wood: Frederic Michalak

2007-06-01T11:15:00.000-04:00

Frédéric Michalak was born on October 16, 1982 in Toulouse, France. Frédéric plays for the "Stade Toulousain" and also for the "National French Rugby team". Rugby profiles list him as 172 cm (5' 7") in height and 78 kg (172 lb) in weight. He does an occasional ad for Nike as well.

Fit to be Clicked

2007-05-29T14:50:00.000-04:00

The Autobots and Decepticons have had nifty restyling in the new Transformers movie due for release this July. For those that have missed them, you can take a peak at the movie trailers and photos here. In related news an unknown craft that looks suspiciously like the old Teletran-1 has been spotted in some mountains somewhere, why it has klingon graffiti on it is anyones guess.

On the topic of photoshop jobs, I am trying to decide if Men's Fitness digitally pumped him up or used the old squeeze the biceps trick for Andy Roddick's cover shot for the magazine.

Has reality TV become too visceral? A terminally ill woman in Holland is primed to give away her kidneys in a TV special put on Endemol, the same company that owns the Big Brother franchise. During the 80 minute episode, 'The Big Donor' Lisa will choose which of three lucky contestants will receive her kidneys with the help of text messages send in from viewers.

Talk about looking for the silver lining, researchers have discovered that there is apparently an upside to Herpes. Too bad it might cause Alzheimer's too.

Then again, scientists have been very hard at work contradicting themselves. One group of Scientists recently showed that multi-vitamins may increase ones risk of Colon Cancer, while another team almost simultaneously announced that those fickle vitamins may help you live longer once you have it.

The legal victory of rational over superstition in Philadelphia was short lived. Yes, after a week long crackdown on fortune tellers, the psychics are back to work.

Have your neighbors have jumped on the global warming band wagon? Trading in the old SUV for a hybrid, buying local produce and racking up carbon credits as if they are some kind of crusade to save the planet? Strike back with Carboncreditkillers.com!

I'm not sure what would be worse, trying to explain to you family how you were charged with a DUI in a wheelchair, or explaining to your neighbors that you got a great price for their dachshund at your yard sale.

Scientists ranging from engineers to Neurologists have but their collect brain power together give robots a bit of finesse by building a better robotic brain, or a cerebellum at least (the part of our brain that governs fine motor skills). while this brings us ever closer to that inevitable robot uprising, I think they will need to work on their conversation skills a bit more before we need to worry to much.

It pulses, it throbs, it jiggles around, all in time with your music. Strong-arming for Apple not withstanding, I'm sure this new Igasm Gizmo has a certain niche market writhing in anticipation.

A former employee for IBM is suing the company for wrongful dismissal after he was fired for trolling sex chat rooms on the job. According too the suit, he feels that instead of being fired and despite being warned about the behaviour previously, he should have been offered sympathy and support since it seems hes rather addicted to them.

It seems that you just can't marry your cousin anymore. A Pakistani court has jailed couple of newly weds for an un-Islamic marriage after it was discovered that the husband was really a woman...or at least still to much of a woman despite being a transsexual. While the brides father is pressing for annulment based on the grounds that woman can't marry women under sharia law, the couple insist that he just wants to marry her off to cover an uncles gambling debts.

It's not all doom and gloom for same-sex couples however. Carlos and Fernando, a same-sex flamingo couple of 6 years at the wildlife reserve in Gloucester are the blushing new parents of a chick that was abandoned in its nest. This is not the first orphan the couple of 6 years has raised as it seems the boys have a habit of chasing other birds away from their nests to that they can rear the chicks on their own.

Is being anti-heterosexual just as bad as being anti-homosexual? While the Polish parliament is pushing through legislation to cut down on gay themed chatter in schools and ordering psychological evaluations of the Teletubies, a gay bar in Australia has recently won the right to ban heterosexuals from the establishment citing that straits ruin the ambiance. While civil liberties groups are supporting the decision, I'm sure we haven't heard the last about it as Australia's equal opportunity laws prevent discrimination based on race, religion or sexuality.

The Morning Wood: Robbi Ginepri

2007-05-23T10:41:00.000-04:00

Robby Ginepri, born October 7, 1982 in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, is an American tennis player who turned professional in 2001.

Fit to be Clicked

2007-05-16T10:17:00.000-04:00

Some theorize that the universe never puts more on your plate then you can handle. If that is the case then I wonder where it got so much confidence in me. My apologies for the lag since my last update. Dealing with moving, unpacking and the annual parental visit ate up the early part of this month quite nicely. Today's post is a total a grab bag of links that I've been saving up over the past few weeks.

The search for Scotty! A beloved crew mate dies and they blast his remains into space then the pod crash lands on a remote mountainside of a primitive planet...Why does this plot seem so familiar? Life imitating Star trek has been a popular theme lately. Researchers are hard at work developing magnetic shields to protect intrepid explorers from the ravages of radiation while they are away from earth.

Psychics are under siege in Philly! City Inspectors have shut down dozens of fortune tellers citing an obscure decades old law against prognosticating for profit. Despite their extra sensory powers and the law being on the books for years, the psychics say they never saw it coming.

Speaking of questionable judgements, a group of teachers in Tennessee staged a mock assault on a bunch of 6th graders. During the last night of the trip, staff members convinced the 69 students that there was a gunman on the loose and had them hide under tables while a mock maniac rattled at the door. Now I'm all for a bit of primal scaring every now and then, but maybe stick to fire drills guys.

The Summer Meter is a nifty site...if you have ADD or something. Sure, an online countdown to summer is a fun thing but after watching it run for a few seconds I start to panic watching the numbers fly by.

Updating a story I commented on a few posts back. That bleating bride from Sudan, Rose the goat, has passed away. For those of you unfamiliar with the story, Rose was forced into a marriage with a man who was caught using her in a... manly fashion. Alas, she went the way most media darlings have of late, choking on a plastic bag. She is survived by 1 kid, hopefully from a previous marriage.

Despite PETA's concerns about how animal brides are treated in some countries, the Ms Camel Pageant in Saudi Arabia went on as planned with dozens of desert beauties strutting their humps and lady lumps vieing for cash prizes, cars and an exclusive mating contract,(with another camel of course, this isn't Sudan after all)

Need a good reason to protect biodiversity? Brazilian Sex Spiders. After noticing that one of the side effects of a bite from the spider just happens to be ragging preapism that lasts for hours, scientists have isolated the toxin responsible and hope to use it to boost current fertility treatments. Go Spiders!

Sure, we've all had those stick-it-on-the-fridge-and-call-it-cute moments, but have you ever wondered what Kids are really trying to draw? This site has some kids drawings touched up by a professional artist and those doodles don't seem nearly as cute now...

Talk about jumping on the bandwagon. Now not only can you get your daily dose of carbonated water, Aspartame, Phosphoric Acid, Potassium Benzoate and Caffeine from a Diet Pepsi, the nice folks over at Pepsico are throwing in 10 to 15 percent of the daily requirement of niacin, zinc, magnesium and vitamins B6 and B12 to help you get through the day. Cola as a source of essential nutrients, what is the world coming to? Next they'll be selling us cigarettes with Vitamin D and Echinacia.

On the topic of smokes, is it just me or is the concept of fire resistant cigarettes as silly as it sounds?

Staying with the theme of things that cause cancer, another great hobby of mine has just been ruined. Researchers have found that Oral Sex (of all things), may raise your risk of cancer. Of course, that threat has never stopped my penchant for sucking on cigarettes, it just seems that everything I put in my mouth is bad for me these days.

Now I've been known to water the garden every now and then, but these urinals are taking that metaphor to new extremes.

Canadian spy coins, what a sensational concept! We never hear much about what the folks over in CSIS get up to so I was very excited over reports that US defence contractors were picking up bugs when they came north of the border. Clandestine nanoscale transmitters, it shows my tax dollars at work. The truth is much more laughable, the so called spy coins turned out to be the commemorative poppy quarter.

German soccer players Michael Ballack and Oliver Kahn received a nice payout in an bit of an interesting branding battle. The stars sued the firm Beate Uhse because it sold special World Cup vibrators called "Michael B" and "Olli K" last year without their permission. While the stars were awarded a modest amount, considering the popularity of footballers these days I would have sued for a cut of the sales.

Fit to be Clicked

2007-04-27T11:19:00.000-04:00

Monsanto, a multi billion dollar company that almost has the market cornered when it comes to genetically engineered seed and crops is worried that you are being deceived. Even recently complaining to the FDA about those pesky organic dairy farmers, weirdo hippies and any other nutbars that insist on labeling their products as free of artificial hormones or genetic modification. It seems that by declaring their products free of such things, the farmers are insinuating that artificial hormones, pesticides and what-have-you are somehow bad for you. Laughable as it sounds, Monsanto may just have a point.

I think the idea of an alarm clock that runs away is cute. And I bet a lot of people that bought these things thought that too but if they are anything like me they could have probably tore it's wheels off after Snooze hit #3.

For those of you that don't have pets, and haven't encountered any hysterical pet owners over the past few months, there was this massive recall on pet foods because it seems that some of the ingredients were poisoned with industrial chemicals. Then to make matters worse, it turns out that the food that pigs are eating was contaminated with yet another poisonous chemical. There are conspiracy theorists out there wondering if it was done for profit as they claim that these chemicals make it look like there is more protein then there is. However, I think the answer is a bit more practical then that. The one thing that all these tainted ingredients have is that they come from China, and not just one factory in China either. While all sold by the same distributor, the tainted fillers and proteins came from several different rending plants. Now back in August of last year the Chinese were all in a panic over Rabies (as they should, it is one of the leading killers in China) and did a massive pet cull destroying about fifty thousand dogs. That was all fine and good, but it didn't solve the Rabies problem. Fast forward to November when the Chinese Government adopts a 'one small dog per family' law. Of course, people get attached to pets and regardless of prosecution may be tempted to not destroy any extra Pooches. Authorities are far to busy persecuting Falun Gong practitioners to go door-to-door looking for pets, so it not a big jump to wonder if poisoning the little darlings may well have been China's Final Solution to it's pet problem.

Fill 'er up...with Bacon! The fate of the poisoned pigs isn't so dark, after all some enterprising companies have figured out how to make gas out of them. Now don't get me wrong, I am all for Bio-fuels and finding creative uses for animal remains but I find the idea of running cars with dead animals just a wee bit disturbing to me for some reason. I guess I am used to my car running over them as opposed to running on them. It just might work tho, all it would take is a bit of genetic tinkering to make some extra fat Diesel Pigs, maybe Monsanto can help them out with that.

Smoking can be hazardous to your health, but it can save your life too.

There has been a lot of chatter lately about how the U.S administration has an agenda that seems to run counter the the best interests of the American way of life. The thing about democracies is that there are many visions on precisely what that way of life should be, so one can't demonize the current U.S. administration for trying to usher the country into the brave new world that they envision. There are however warning flags that such a direction may not be the best way to go. Top 10 signs your country is turning into a fascist state, or How to curtail constitutional freedoms in 10 easy steps. An interesting comparison about the recent political climate in the United States. In other political news, U.S. President George bush voted unanimously to grant himself the constitutional power to grant himself more powers.

On the environmental/entertainment/political front, Singer Sheryl Crowe is encouraging us to cut down on the amount of toilet paper we use. Which made me pause for a moment, as I can't figure out why it's cute when those annoying Charmin bears dance around singing about how great using less toilet paper is, but when a singer just talks about it I crack up laughing. Crowe and Karl Rove mixed things up recently at the White House Correspondents dinner. After reading a few different perspectives on the encounter I'm still not sure if Rove was just tired of global warming and just wanted to talk about golf, or uncomfortable being touched by people that use so little toilet paper.

On the topic of politicians that say dumb things. The European parliament and Poland are at odds over a draft of legislation that would ban the 'promotion' of homosexuality in Polish schools. During the debate Polish MEP Witold Tomczak was recently quoted to say "The solution is to help those who suffer [homosexuals] and to provide them with the cure that they expect us to deliver". Try as I might I can't find any headlines about Gays getting together and lobbying any government for a cure to homosexuality. I guess they suffer in silence. Not to be outdone, an MEP from the League of Polish Families, Maciej Giertych, has published a pamphlet stating that homosexuality is "biologically useless" and "reversible" as long as there is "the desire to become heterosexual and the spiritual motivation". I may cede to his point on the reproductive aspect, however even animals use sex for reasons other then reproduction and most of them are gay too. The expression of homosexuality must have some social and evolutionary benefits (other then concentrating style, taste and flair all in one friendly demographic), otherwise natural selection would have certainly culled it out fairly quickly.

Of course, it would unfair to single out Poland for enacting senseless laws when it comes to sex, check out this list of bizarre sex laws from around the world. Keeping with the theme, it seems that a direct descendant of the prophet Muhammad has been doing gay porn on Xtube. [This story mentioned with no insult to the respected teachings of Islam, although he does seem to violate bizarre sex laws 1 and 2]. It seems there is an arrest warrant out for Richard Gere and Shilpa Shetti for 'transgressing all limits of vulgarity' at a recent appearance. It sounds really hot, until you realize that apparently Indians are very good at hysterically overreacting.

Runaway Brides! A Nigerian woman and her 4 lesbian brides go underground after their wedding to avoid death by stoning or something worse. Why do I see either OutTV or the Playboy channel picking up the rights on this story...

The makers of that slippery adult lubricant Astroglide made a huge gaff earlier this week when they accidentally posted the names AND addresses of 250 thousand people that had requested free samples of their product...ONLINE! Personally I've never been a fan, I find it breaks down in the high friction situations I often find myself in.

Schadenfreude (an overly long German word that can be summed up as simply being spiteful), is not a very evolved thing and I do so try to repress the urge to cackle with glee whenever a celebrities antics catch up with them. Snoop Doggs bad boy image has gotten him banned from yet another country. Officials in Australia cancelled his travel visa after he failed a character test when pleading no contest to a slew of weapons and drug charges in the US. "He doesn't seem the sort of bloke we want in this country," Immigration Minister Kevin Andrews was quoted to say. Newsflash Snoop, the 'street cred' that made your career can also destroy it. In other celebrity news, English actor Hugh Grant has been arrested for assaulting a photographer...with beans!

Life imitates the movies, it turns out that Kryptonite is real. Although its not really Kryptonite and they are calling it Jadarite and it fluoresces Pink not green, so I can't see what all the fuss is about but it does provide a handy lead into BBC's Site about the science behind a few of our favorite superheroes.

Fit to be Clicked

2007-04-18T14:43:00.000-04:00

Briefly coming back to a click in my last post about Scientists creating synthetic sperm from Stem cells, I stumbled across an article musing about something I hadn't considered. The same group is looking for ethical approval to create She-Sperm from Female cells. Which while would be a boon for lesbians, is just plain weird. If they can grow She-Sperm, it's only a matter of time before they start pumping out He-Eggs which would make for some very interesting family planning I think.

Do you know how famous your favorite celebrities are? Play Famousr and find out.

Mmmm, McDonald's shopping spree vs. Childhood obesity. I wonder who decides where to put these billboards.

OK, so I like making fun of old people and I'm not alone, this Mobility commercial showing swinging seniors 'getting 10 kinds of nasty' just cracked me up. It's a bit sad though that after the party they went home and were crushed under a pile of their own offal. I do have to feel bad for these people, after all, other then drowning is a sewage tsunami, being trapped under a pile of your own trash for a week is a pretty undignified way to go.

Waste time and stay informed with MSNBC's NewsBreaker game!

Break out those mini eggs, researchers with a sweet tooth have proven something women have know all along, Chocolate really is better then kissing.

Hmm, you know those hysterical types that say that amending marriage laws to let gays marry will just open a floodgate of perverse unions between people, oddly shaped trees, helpful robots and unsuspecting animals. Well it seems that the Sudanese don't need gays for that, just last week a village council forced a man to marry a goat and pay a dowry to it's owner after he was caught...using the goat in a wifely fashion. Why do I get the idea that this was a win/win for everyone except for the goat?

This sneaker's not made in Japan, it's made OF Japan.

Speaking of sex, the Archbishop of Canterbury recently spoke about his concerns that questions of sex and the inclusion of homosexuals in the church will irreparably divide the Anglican communion. Which quite frankly, from the exclusion of the U.S. Episcopalian churches in Anglican affairs, to the split of some larger congregations, I think it already has. Dr Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury and the head of the Anglican church, will be meeting with the Episcopal Bishops in the U.S. to try and mend the rift a little, but I believe the separate factions of the church have already reached the 'Irreconcilable differences' part of this divorce.

Imagine every ones surprise when a recently published study revealed that Abstinence only sex education doesn't work. Of course it doesn't work, Considering how much sex we are bombarded with from day to day in movies, TV, newspapers and so forth, the idea that teens will not have sex just because teachers they have no respect for anyways tell them 'it's better to wait' is not only misguided, but completely laughable. Of course this is just my view, some other people have some pretty interesting views on the matter as well.

The million monkey theory is hard at work on this website. The Drawball is actually one of the best implementations of online graffiti I have ever come across.

On the topic of animal stories, I stumbled across more then a few. Here's one about a very confused Chinese mouser has gone and adopted the mouse it was supposed to eat and these motivational posters for cats are a must click for any cat lover. On the invertebrate scene a family of spider mites has rediscovered the joy of sex, which makes them the first species ever to have re-evolved sexual reproduction. Go Mites!

Look daddy kittens! I just love this picture.

Some interesting news on the Physics front. Scientists have confirmed that, as per Einsteins prediction, the mass of the earth does indeed bent space-time, and are now hard at work figuring out if it drags it around as well.

Just some food for thought. One is infinitesimally small, the other incomprehensively huge, and yet the symmetry is downright eerie.

My significant other is so desperate to look popular he even invited my mother to Facebook so he could have another friend. And that's no 'Yo Mama' joke either. I on the other hand, just use the popularity dialer and look popular in real time.

Fun with Microwaves! I wonder how many things they nuked before finding a bar of soap that would do this.

The Morning Wood: Daniel Migani

2007-04-15T08:26:00.000-04:00

Daniel Miagany (born on September 18, 1978 in Los Angeles, CA) is a male fashion model who has appeared on the cover of San Diego's Rocket, Frontiers, IN Magazine, Revista Adelante and other numerous magazines.

One of my friends recently mentioned that the Morning Wood boys have been getting prettier and prettier. So Sean, this bad boys for you.

Fit to be Clicked

2007-04-14T12:27:00.000-04:00

Busy, busy, busy... One of my favorite authors has passed away this week, that being Kurt Vonnegut. From the foot fetish inspiring Bokonism of Cats Cradle to the time shifting fatalism of Slaughterhouse 5 and all the existential quirkiness between, before, after and beyond his books and writing style warped my young mind in ways that would most likely take psychiatrists years to unravel should I ever give them the chance.

Moving along to some much lighter fare now. Online genealogy sites are all the rage, but ever so dry. Get Medieval on its ass and tell your families story (or any story really) by creating your very own Historic Tapestry online!

I just had Wendy's for lunch and after browsing this site, I think I am going to be sick. Morbidly fascinating, burger after burger I just couldn't click away. It's the Burger Museum.

I think Cadbury just found a new Mascot for their cream eggs. On the topic of Cockatoo's this Miller light commercial featuring a Brazilian Fighting Cockatoo was just to rich to pass up.

For the longest time, I thought the stories of The U.S. Military using animals were hoaxes, but apparently they've been using them since the 50's. The Navy's Special Ops dolphins, (and Sea lions too) may be getting a new assignment. The top brass is looking to deploy them in Washington State. While I am sure they would be helpful there, I'm placing bets that the next story about them will about how they all go AWOL and are next seen frolicking in Hawaii. There is a reason that bottle nose Dolphins don't go that far North. It's too darn cold for them!

Here is an interesting bit of Trivia. The fearsome king of the Cretaceous, the Tyrannosaurus Rex is a distant relative of modern Chickens. Scientists recently demineralized bits of a 68 million Thigh bone from one of the mighty beasts and found some protein fragments similar to those found in chicken bones. Mmmm, I bet they would make mighty good wings.

Speaking of bones, I could have thought up a much more interesting headline for this next article. 'Bones blow load', 'Scientists teach old bones new ticks.', the list just goes on. Scientists are quite excited by some experiments where they coaxed bone cells to produce immature sperm cells. While interesting, men have been milking sperm from bones for quite some time now, so while I appreciate the irony, I don't think it's anything new.

If you have troubles getting a date, it turns out, you probably live on the wrong coast.

Australia's Prime Minister, John Howard, has waded into some murky waters by calling for an immigration ban for those infected with HIV, so far the reaction hasn't been pretty. However such immigration bans aren't at all uncommon. Most developed countries including The UK, China, the U.S. and even the ever compassionate Canada have similar immigration restrictions that turn away those with infectious diseases, and HIV is part of that package. The debate as to whether such policies are ethical aside, I do find that them a humanitarian failure of global proportions. Higher living standards, access to cutting edge treatments, and care facilities make those afflicted with the the disease in developed countries the healthiest in the world so it's no wonder that people would want access to that.

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger took some time to sexually harass mother nature, saying that the Environment is going to have to get sexy if anyone is going to care about it.

Granted, the details on this story are a bit sketchy and I would never be one to critique Sharia legal tradition but I just think that getting 80 lashes for being sexually abused by ones stepfather is a little extreme. 20 maybe, but 80 is just over the top.

CompuBeaver! Here's a big old 'What the hell!', for this product.

I'd like to try this flip trick without clothes on.

Just a quote

2007-04-13T22:11:00.000-04:00

Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.Who calls you back when you hang up on him. Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead. Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. Who holds your hand in front of his friends. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's him."

That's my Steffen.

The Morning Wood: Udi Karni

2007-04-12T15:13:00.000-04:00

Udi Karni. I don't know too much about him other then the fact that he's hot, Israeli and good with poles. Along with preparing for the Beijing Olympics this 23 year old athlete has thankfully taken some time to model. For those who are interested, his pole vault record is 5.25 Meters and he recently won the national Decathlon.

Fit to be Clicked

2007-04-11T17:36:00.000-04:00

Our brains are pretty funky things, constantly aggregating information from all our senses and building a subjective interpretation of reality so that we can interact with the world around us. It's not surprising how debilitating losing one or two would be, but have you considered what would happen if you added a couple more?

Talk about unclear on the concept. Here is a touching story about a Thai drug dealer that got so good a beating people up in jail that they fast tracked her early parole.

How dating my ex was like playing Doom 2 on nightmare mode.

One would think that after all these years, people would get the hint and not put lead in children's toys. Unless they are implementing some sort of child poverty final solution that is. This really isn't anything new however, it's actually part of an ongoing agenda to maim as many children as possible. Don't take my word for it though, just look at some of these other maiming machines that toy companies has passed off as harmless fun over the years.

Funky photography! Who ever through the dance between coffee and creamer would look so lovely.

Following up on novel things to do with the remains of our dearly departed, Keith Richards snorted his father! ‘I couldn't’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow,’ Richards said of his father's ashes. He did take the comment back, claiming it was all in jest, but considering the man is more preserved then alive, I wouldn't put it past him.

US president George W. Bush just hasn't learned that the sins of others don't forgive ones own.He reacted to the recent EPA ruling that sais the US has to cut its carbon emissions with his trademark puzzling logic. Apparently if the US cuts its emissions, China would then be the largest polluter and being number one would allow them to pollute more. I suppose Chinese superiority in this field would send a dangerous message to terrorists as well. However,rebuffing criticism that the US Administration is doing nothing to prevent climate change,bush pointed to his latest initiative to preserve critically endangered glaciers with a captive breeding program.

It's about time that Fairy tale weddings came to the Magic Kingdom. Disney, a company long known for its tolerant attitude, will now permit Gays and lesbians to have magically commercial weddings at Walt Disney world and it's resorts. Until now this was a privilege reserved for those with valid marriage licences, (AKA Heteros). Although I do wonder how many princesses can show for a wedding before things turn ugly.

On the topic of Life imitating Disney. For all of us that bawled through the mid 80's adventures of Tod and Copper, here is a real life Fox and Hound.

Ouch! I guess the new hummers aren't nearly as rugged as as we have been led to believe. It certainly paid to take the bus that day.

Nothing says spring like frivolous litigation and people are getting down right creative. I can almost understand being peeved at negligent dancing, but I just can't see this suit claiming damages from unreasonably dangerous coffee getting too far.

Artificial sweetener by any other name still doesn't taste like Splenda. On the topic of interesting lawsuits, the makers of Equal and Sweet n' Low are suing the makers of Splenda,claiming Splenda's advertising is misleading, confuses consumers and thus is hurting their business. Quite frankly, Equal and SnL suck ass (not in the good way either), and competing with a product that actually tastes almost like sugar is what is hurting their business. Here's a business strategy that might workout: take the money they are paying lawyers and develop a product that doesn't blow.

Bored at work? Here's the top 5 punch clock time wasters.

It's weird, but it actually looks quite tasty. Meat cake anyone?

Danielynn Birkhead-Smith apparently has a new daddy. Frankly, I don't buy it. This sudden revelation just smacks of a cover-up. The only other person capable of whipping up a media frenzy on this scale was her mother Anna Nicole, which leads me to suspect...Danielynn is a clone!

Morning Wood Meltdown: Juan Matin Berberian

2007-04-01T08:37:00.000-04:00

Juan Matin Berberian Blanco, a big name for a big man. Born April 25th, 1977 in Mar del Plata this Spanish Rugby player can be my Fullback any day.

There are some pictures from a calendar photo shoot that he did recently where he shows quite a bit of himself. I'm afraid they show enough (quite a bit I might add), to break my rules for pictures I post for the Morning wood. That being said, you can see them RIGHT HERE, and some MORE HERE. Go ahead and click, I promise you won't be disappointed.

Below is a video from Yahoo of the photo shoot and whats not in the pics, is all right there. It breaks my rules too, but hey, I blame the Cabernet. Please don't click it if you are under 18, or are offended by HOT HOT Rugby players. 'Nuff said.

Congratulations Juan, you have just earned the first Morning Wood Meltdown! Don't hesitate to email me to arrange for you to pick up...your trophy.

The Morning Wood: Daniel Erthal

2007-03-31T19:48:00.000-04:00

Daniel Erthal, born March 22, 1982, in Bom Jardim, Rio de Janeiro, is a Brazilian actor and model. Along with acting in several shows I can't pronounce, he also tried dancing when he joined in the 3rd season of Brazil's Dancing with the Stars where he, unfortunately, got eliminated first.

Fit to be Clicked

2007-03-31T12:38:00.000-04:00

As thrilling as watching paint dry, as riveting as watching the grass grow. It's the Cheese Cam! Yes, now you to can watch cheese cure online. There must be quite a few bored people out there, as if the hit counter is to be believed, the site gets a fair amount of traffic.

Despite urging from presidents both past and present and Microsoft wanting absolutely nothing to do with it, Russian prosecutors are still going after that teacher caught with pirated copies of Windows running on his schools computers. After reading through the article, I kind of have to wonder who in the justice department has a grudge against this guy.

The truth is out there, and apparently it's on the 'Net too. Responding to the challenge issued by former Canadian defence minister Paul Hellyer for governments come clean on the fabulous alien technology they must posses, France has posted it's whole UFO archive online. The load is a bit slow, but you can see it all here. Now that we are on the topic of aliens, Space.com debunks the top 10 alien myths.

Geek is the new Gay. Acting like a geek gets you noticed. And speaking of picking up, it turns out that it doesn't take much to convince people your hot.

Contrary to popular belief, folding the tip into cute animal shapes will not score you points with your waiter.

I was chatting with a friend of mine about those semi-identical twins that for some reason have been all the rage in the news lately. Technically they are Chimera, not Twins but I admit, that's splitting the gene awfully thin. The nightmarish ethics of Frankenstein sheep aside tho, doctors and scientists have been creating chimera for decades now, and apparently nature has been as well.

Of course, after the debate of the ethics and oddities of the concept, our conversation swung to the mythological context of our culture spanning fascination with splicing things together. Just to clear things up, Lamia was in fact Greek, but had the body of a serpent and the torso of a woman. The other Lamia, is middle eastern and does, in fact, have the body of a lion. The bear splice I was thinking about was actually the Lashu. Kudos to you Sam for knowing your Monsters! I'll be tracking you down the next time we play team trivia for sure, now onto the next category...

These people must have did something to really piss off their graphic artist.

It's Jesulicious...literally! Just in time for Easter its a chocolate Jesus. I'm not sure what has the Christians so upset, the fact that he's naked or edible.

Chalk one up for the little guy. The discovery of a few new species of tiny spider like cave dwellers have halted plans to build a new mine. While building the new mine would wipe them out, the company is appealing the EPA's ruling with a spokesman saying that it is all just part of the business. Apparently they've been driving species to the brink for years, so why stop now.

Extreme? Yes. Cool? Oh Yeah. Suicidal? Definitely. This guy is certainly a nomination for a Darwin award. I think you'd need to be a special kind of crazy to strap a wing and 2 jet engines to your back and jump off a plane.

Now I'm not normally one to poke fun at the little people, but this is one feisty midget!

I'm not sure if it is sad or touching, but either way love blossoms anew for the lovestruck swan who made news last year when she fell head over heals for a paddle boat. As Swans mate for life, she had to be taken in by a local zoo over the winter when she refused to leave her plastic beau to fly South. The happy couple are back in the water now and can be seen blissfully paddling up and down the river together.

Goats, porn magazines and spray paint...this one is just to freaky even for me.

They say a diamond is forever, and now you to can turn your beloved pet into a stunning accent piece.

There are times in life where one gets super upset, does something really stupid and in a few years can look back and laugh. Why do I think that this is not one of those stories...

Fit to be Clicked

2007-03-27T13:59:00.000-04:00

Celebrity reality check! I normally let the celebs do their own publicity, but I'll make an exception for Snoop. That's right, that hip hop/rapper/entertainment train wreck Snoop Dog was recently denied a Visa into the UK. Snoops rep is reportedly "mystified" by the news. Say wha? The man was arrested for violent disorder at Heathrow Airport and is facing several weapon and drug charges in the U.S. These people really are living in an alternate reality if they think that little things like that won't stop you dead in your tracks at the border. Newsflash, Snoop. Celebrity entitlement only gets one so far.

On the topic of celebrities, most of us are far to young to remember Frankie Howerd. We was an incredibly popular English comic that died back in '92. Dennis Heymer, his lover, partner and manager, took some time to talk to the BBC about their secret life together in an age when homosexuality was taboo. While neither were activist at all and Howerd even loathed himself for it, I must say that I am glad that we have come far enough so that our loves needn't be so bittersweet.

I have noticed this pattern of whenever the powers that be have something they would like to distract us from, such as say, the sudden mobilization of U.S. military resources in the Persian gulf, the news feeds are inundated with inane animal stories. Take for instance PETA's sudden outrage at Kansas State students for throwing Chickens onto the court when playing against Kansas U. Sure it's been going on for years, but it's very convenient that just now PETA is rising to the defence of what they describe as "very intelligent and inquisitive animals". Are they talking about the Basketball players or the chickens?

Of course, the nature and scale of the intelligence of animals has been a hotly debated subject for years. PBS's Nature put together a fascinating mini series on the topic that I highly recommend. Eager to test these theories, our friends at The Onion found that Dolphins may not be as smart as we give them credit for.

Things just get stranger from here. Talk about pocket lizards, this lady was positively infested with crocodiles when she was stopped at the border. And on the other side of the world, Panda sperm flies first class. What I want to know is how did they get this cryo-canister on the plane when I can't even fly with Gatorade?

Flee for your lives, it's Toadzilla!

Scientists sure do have some strange fetishes! Chinese researchers have come up with a creative solution for disposing of and abundance Panda poop, they want to make paper with it. Talk about recycling! On the other side of the world, another team of researchers is very excited about what mites in ancient Llama poo can tell them about pre-incan populations in South America.

Speaking of fetishes, what would you do with 1500 undergarments?

You thought your pet was talented? Not yet an Olympic sport, it's Goldfish synchronized swimming.

Citizens in Portugal have penned a letter the Pope asking that the Vatican slow down a priest speeding in his pimped Fiesta. That's right, a Ford Fiesta. Who the heck tricks out a Fiesta?

There are some very nifty pics in this homage to interesting trees from around the world. My favorite is the stump left when a scientist inadvertently cut down the oldest tree in the world.

Oh this is horrible. On the topic of undignified deaths, 3 people are confirmed dead after a sewage tsunami hit a neighborhood in Gaza. What a way to go.

Sci/Tech has had some interesting headlines over the past bit, Scientists have retrieved about 20 years worth of mission data from Pioneer 11 from the depths of JPLs Archives. They are hoping this will allow them to get a better grasp on the Pioneer Anomaly,(the spacecraft aren't nearly as far away as they should be), and perhaps explain it away for good.

Leave it to the Spaniards to come up with Jurassic porn.

Forget hydrogen! The future of fuel cells is looking sweet.

Not content with merely being Persons of the Year, Youtube has wrapped up its first annual YouAwards. Check out the winners and losers on...well Youtube of course.

The Morning Wood: Leandro Okabe

2007-03-26T19:46:00.000-04:00

Leandro Okabe. Leandroooo...Oh LEANDRO! This 6 feet tall, 21-year-old Physical Education student from Sao Paulo, Brazil, is the new Terra's "The Boy" model. He began his modeling career in Asia, mostly in Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand and Hong Kong and then was discovered by an agency in Brazil. If you're wondering, that giant sexy tattoo on his ribcage means "happiness" in Chinese.

Attack of the Mac Ads.

2007-03-22T14:52:00.000-04:00

So I was out Youtubing today, looking for funny commercials and found something so much better. These just go to show that the PC vs. Mac ads could have been so much better. Is it just me or is PC kinda cute in these ones?

Networking! Who ever thought file sharing could be so much fun.

And what better way to spice up a network then with Asian Accessories!

Upgrading! Definitely a reason to unplug from that Mac network before installing new hardware.

And gaming too!

Fit to be Clicked

2007-03-22T09:44:00.000-04:00

Is it just me or has it been a very slow week in the news? Today's offering is more diversions then news, but sometimes mindless entertainment isn't all that bad.

A few species of spiders surprised scientists by showing off their softer side. Who knew spiders like to cuddle to?

Have you ever read a news item and had that feeling that there was a lot more to the story then was actually written? Picture it, one of the IT guys down in the Alaskan Department of Revenue, 'accidentally' deletes a 38 billion dollar file and then, in a flustered fit, formats the drive that held the back up. Good thing they could fall back on the tape backup. No wait, the tapes were trash too!It took 220 grand and 6 weeks to rebuild the data. Former Revenue Commissioner Bill Corbus said no one was blamed for the incident and that "we all learned a valuable lesson". If I deleted 38 billion dollars I know my employer wouldn't be that forgiving.

People really do look funny while playing the Wii.

This is a fun waste of time. In Sprout you start off as a pod and learn to morph into different plants to negotiate your way through a tropical island maze.

By now you all know my penchant for lists and I've been on a movie run lately, so here are 40 things that only happen in movies and 9 laws of physics that just don't seem to apply in Hollywood.

The conspiracy revealed! The Deathstar was an inside job. I am so recommending this for the next title in my book club.

Why is it that marketers and advertisers have this idea that dressing people up as food will make their product more appetizing? It doesn't, it just humiliates actors. To illustrate my point, browse these 10 Ads with people dressed up as food looking like idiots and some much worse.

The folks over at Imagini have come up with a nifty twist on the tired, but always popular personality quiz, VisualDNA. Click on an array of pictures and it will tell you all about yourself. It's very well done, and great for one of those personal touches to add to your Facebook.

Ever wonder Why men don't get published by Dear Abby?

The row over evolution vs. intelligent design and how they should be addressed in school curriculum's has sparked a new debate over how to address religion in schools over in the U.S. I hadn't really given much thought about the unholy logistics of trying to teach religion in school until I stumbled across this stub.I'm just not sure I want my teenager taking Tantra Yoga 101.

There are some people that you just don't want to talk to, and finding a polite excuse hang up on them is never easy. What do you do when someone just doesn't get the hint? Some of these sound files might be just what you need.

The Web is vast and with our ability to access just about everything on anything almost everywhere it is getting harder and harder to figure out what is out there, let alone weather or not we are even interested in it. If you don't know what you like, but like it when you see it, then Stumbledupon.com might just be for you. The more you use it, the more it figures out what stories and pages you might like. It's a bit limited, but that is a relative term in the context of the 'Net.

The Morning Wood: Gary Lucy

2007-03-18T15:31:00.000-04:00

Gary Edward Lucy (born 27 November 1981 in Chigwell, Essex), is an English television actor made famous for his role oas Luke Morgan in Hollyoaks and as the hot hot Kyle Pascoe in Footballers Wives.

Fit To Be Clicked

2007-03-16T18:16:00.000-04:00

I found this science/biology story kinda nifty, just because I didn't think that any complex animal was able to pull off a regeneration on this scale, however the lowly yet biologically advanced sea squirt can regenerate itself from the smallest bit of blood vessel.

There have been a lot of animal stories floating around in the news lately actually. Have you ever wondered how Buddhists handle a fire ant infestation? Non violently of course, however that doesn't mean that some other less enlightened soul can't take care of the problem for them. From here, it just gets down right kinky. For instance, Did you know that there is a sperm bank for dogs? Or that Gorillas gave us crabs? How does one retrieve a hamster from a 4 inch hole? You suck it out. China is appealing to Biomechanists the world over to design a prosthetic leg for a Giant Panda so that she can finally get laid. And lastly, proving that perversion really is part of nature, spiders use butt plugs.

There has been no shortage of kink in the human news lately either. There was this gentleman that found out the hard way that there are some things that just don't belong in your bum, especially when flying. And Israel has had to let go of its 2nd ambassador to El Salvador for unbecoming conduct. The latest one was found drunken and bound, dressed only in the scantest of S&M gear.

On a related note, have you ever wondered why men pass out after sex? It seems that we're evolutionarily optimized for it.

Moving onto politics, does the American administration have an image problem? President bush recently kicked off a tour of Latin America to reach out to impoverished peoples who promptly ritually cleansed the ground he walked on shortly after his visit.

The Battle of Helmsdeep with Gummi Bears. Here is someone else that has way to much time on their hands. But they get points for creative interpretation.

Last year, Viacom paid 62 million dollars to its exiting CEO for doing a terrible job and posted a fair loss due to flagging revenues. Now it seems they are hoping to float their company (with what I'm sure is soon to become a cottage industry), by suing Youtube/Google.

It's hottttt in Topeeeekaaaaaa... and apparently inside Enceladus as well. On the topic of space, the ESA has released some funky new animations that are bound to pique the interest of extreme adventure tourists. Ever wanted to hang glide on Mars?

Freedom of expression is one of those rights that always seems to clash with some peoples delusion that we have the right to walk through life and never be offended. But it also sets up an interesting double standard. Pope Benedict recently reiterated the Catholic Church's stance of abortion, Gay marriage, divorcees and inappropriate music of all things, and this was greeted with barely a low rumble from activist groups. However, while side stepping the divorce and abortion issues, when U.S General Peter Pace expressed his personal view that homosexuality is immoral, it set off a flurry of condemnation and demands for apology. Now while I'm no fan of homophobia and I disagree with them both, it must be said that I would never apologize for expressing my twisted shameless views, so I can't see why either of them should. What makes a society free is the ability to express your thoughts and ultimately add your 2 cents to the great ideological debate that shapes a society.

On the topic of people that don't like gays, you may remember that a while back I gave some kudos to NBA'er Tim Hardaway for at least being upfront about his big Gay issues. Well I take it all back, the nansy-pansy apparently no longer hates gay people. Now he says he loves gay people and just wants them to give him a second chance. Tim, you're a looser. If you're going to let loose a spiteful rant on national TV, then at least have the courage to stand by your convictions.

Banana's fund terrorism! That's right, every time they went to the grocery store and bought those nutritious fruits, housewives and soccer moms all over the continent were clandestinely funding violent terrorist organizations in Columbia. The Chiquita company has been paying Leftist rebels and far-right paramilitary groups protection money for years and is now paying a hefty 25 million dollar fine for it. Whoever would have thought that the ubiquitous and innocent Chiquita banana was really a Blood banana!

The Morning Wood

2007-03-12T19:07:00.000-04:00

Reynaldo Gianecchini is a Brazilian actor and was born in Birigui, near Sao Paulo, on November 12, 1972.

2007-03-09T09:24:00.000-05:00

The Morning Wood

Marco Dapper, born July 9, 1983, in Hayward, California, is an American actor.

Marco is also the hot hunk in Eating Out 2, the sequel of a campy movie that I really enjoyed about a guy that pretended to be gay to get a girl. Now I haven't seen this one, but I'm certainly going to try now. Here's the trailer.

2007-03-08T13:16:00.000-05:00

Unfortunately it wasn't mine, but another pointless blog full of poorly written, incoherent commentary managed to make it to the front page of Digg. So what is the secret to obtaining such a vaunted position? You pay for it of course! This was an experiment by wired Magazine, possibly to generate bad press about Digg and this had the tech commentators salivating over the prospect of a lawsuit. This does make a point that I've suspected for quite some time, user-ranking systems are more often then not misleading. There is an easier and free way to do it though, just post a story and then share the vote button with everyone on your social networking site of choice and the votes come rolling in. After all, people will click anything for friend.

Is art imitating life again? The Iconic Captain America was felled by a snipers bullet in the latest edition of his self titled comic book. Now granted, a great majority of people don't stay dead for long in the Marvel universe, but after a 66 year career of defending the planet from Hitler to villains in alternate realities and everything in between, you'd think they'd have the decency to give Steve Rogers a slightly more heroic death. Is someone at Marvel making a point? Perhaps that after decades as an invulnerable superpower now with a constitution in tatters, the formidable U.S. economic and social machines have been deflated by the smallest of foes. Nah, that couldn't be it.

On a slightly more upbeat note, back in 1982 the iconic blond of the 80's generation broke onto the scene and immediately became the object of desire for boys, girls, nerds and Jocks alike. She was sweet and stylish, with bows in her hair and eyelashes that went on forever. Her ruby lips devoured everything in her path, she was Ms. Pacman! And she's celebrating her 25th Birthday this week by expanding her brand to Itunes.

Snakes on a plane! Well, they almost got on the plane.

First there were knife wielding femme fatalles and then came the homoerotic voyeurism and now gang domination by the pool, is it just me or has Dolce and Gabbana completely overshot risque with it's new ads? After labeling Spain (and anyone else that has found offence in their recent advertising), as behind the times and prudish, Dolce and Gabbana has bowed to pressure and pulled the latest of it controversial ads. While D&G defends it's ads as 'a stylized depiction of fantasy', did no one in their marketing department stop and seriously consider that there are some fantasies that are best left in our heads?

In an ironic turn of events, a troop of Boy scouts in Utah burnt down a forest. While Smokey the bear could not be reached for comment, in a court settlement the Utah chapter has agreed to pay 330 Grand to cover the cost of battling the blaze and plant 9000 trees. I don't think selling apples is going to cover that, but auctioning off a few scouts to foreign investors might cover the tab.

We Canadians have always been on the forefront of finding novel solutions to global problems. Recently Paul Hellyer, one of our former defence ministers from back in Pearson era (1963), has proposed using alien technology to solve the planets woes.

Some people just have way to much time on their hands.

The things people will do with X-ray machines! Some of the images are NSFW so be warned. I know what you're thinking, how can an X-ray be unsuitable for work? Look on dear readers and be be prepared for a few WTF moments. What I can't figure out is is it art, porn or diagnostic imaging?

On the topic of kinky, does it get weirder then this? In a little town in Bethlehem the principal is a perv. Police entered the principals office to arrest him for selling Crystal Meth only to find him naked and watching gay porn surrounded by an impressive array of sex toys.

Its time for another top ten list! This time its the top modern delusions that help us get through our empty meaningless lives.

It appears that Boston city officials haven't learned much from the Hunger Force debacle as police shut down a few blocks of the city to blow up one of their own monitoring boxes and just recently a suspicious looking pedestrian.

2007-03-07T12:47:00.000-05:00

Fit to Be Clicked

With the Oscars behind us for another year, we can now move on to obsessing about things other then who got what and who was wearing whom. But before we put all that behind us one has to wonder what we got out of all the sweat, tears and explosions of last years crop of cinematic excellence. To help you along, here is a list of all time favorites that you probably didn't get right either.

It was OK when cats got a show on Broadway, but when they get their own reality TV show one has to wonder if they are really trying to take over the world.The Meow-mix house is beyond adorable tho.

The inevitable robot uprising aside, I understand building robots to do our work for us, but when we start building them to play for us, that's just plain lazy.

This was too good, A woman in Washington taught her children how to fake being retarded so that she could collect social assistance on them and then got busted when her son applied for a drivers license. Speaking of retarded, scientists researching Downs syndrome have been experimenting with making mice retarded to test a drug that makes retarded people smarter and promises to alleviate the learning disabilities and other intellectual impairment in those afflicted with the condition. They tinkered around with mice to make them 'special', (and I do mean that in the Olympic sense), and saw a dramatic improvement in the ability of mice to navigate around a maze when given the drug, whose effects can linger for several months. While they are hoping to start human trials soon, anyone who made it through their high school reading list already knows how this ends! Now granted, I doubt it would turn the 'otherly abled' into geniuses, but at the same time if ignorance is bliss why heighten their awareness of their limitations? All I have to says is just leave some flowers for Algernon.

Healthy self esteem or burgeoning megalomaniacs? According to a new study, today's kids think they are oh so special. Of course they do! Most of us grew up in in environments where we were browbeaten relentlessly with our specialness to ensure we grew up with a positive self image and we do the same with kids today. That was considered good parenting in the 80's and 90's. This really devalued specialness, now that everyone is special the truly special people kinda go unnoticed. The only winners seem to be the Olympic special, who are happy as clams to be 'special' without knowing precisely what that means. Until we give them the drugs that is, and they figure exactly how special they are.

This is kinda creepy, it's the Manchurian Pigeon! Scientists in China have developed a system that allows them to control pigeons by remote control. I'm not sure what the practical applications of remote control birds would be or what they did to the pigeon to get it to co-operate but it strikes me as a more sophisticated attempt at Operation Acoustic Kitty.

The U.S. military has been having more and more problems getting a handle on security in Iraq. Sure manpower is tight and properly equipping the troops has always been an issue, but heck now they aren't even training them. Military brass assures us that despite the lack of dessert training, they'll get along just fine. And we wonder why things are gong downhill over there.

This is a freaking' cool picture! Its of a tungsten needle taken with an Ion Microscope. It's kinda freaky that those round things are actual atoms.

You to can now prepare your family for annihilation my terrorists with this handy guide put together by our American friends in Homeland Security. The signs are a bit obscure, but our other friends at SafeNow have decoded them for us. My favorite is 'If your building collapses crawl under a table and do yoga'

Another amusement for work. Try to eat this pie in as few bites as possible. The best I did was 16.

2007-03-05T17:57:00.000-05:00

The Morning Wood

Ale Marchi, real name Alexander Marchi de Siqueira, born August 10, 1979, in Sao Paulo, is a Brazilian model. Standing 6'-1" and 175 pounds, he was a freshman communications (journalism) student before starting modeling for almost 7 years ago.

Recently one of my avid readers observed that the morning wood hasn't been rising as much as it used to. So this ones for you Sam, I try to keep on top on it. ;-)

Oh yeah, and my abhorance of social networking sites aside, I'm on Facebook now too.

2007-03-04T18:54:00.000-05:00

Last week my muffin bought me a Transformer to guard my keys, I would have taken a picture of my heroic little Windcharger to go with the whole video theme of this entry, but I don't have fresh batteries. For those of you that are from another planet, excluding Cybertron that is, you can find out about them here. Needless to say that Kicked off a Transformers themed night of drinking games and fun all round. Thanks for the links Sean.

Now I imagine the party looked something like this when the Decepticons took over Cybertron. Soundwave is a party robot after all.

Then again, this Citroen has got some groove too...

There are some that are more athletic outdoorsy types though.

The iconic heroes and vilians have been reimagined for a new live action movie due out this fall. Looks cool, but the trailers down give much away. Although I always did wonder if there was more to the Beagle story.

This ones a bit more dramatic, but still no good shots of the robots.

Ever wondered what a Transformers/Lord of the rings cross over would look like? Ponder no more.

This has nothing to with transformers, I just thought it was fun looking up what songs that were cool when I was growing up and wondering what the heck I was thinking.

2007-02-23T15:49:00.000-05:00

Bits and Bites

Can you believe that I actually had to work while I was at work this week? Unheard of! Which makes this the perfect time to clear out my, 'Mixed Bag O' Links' that I just couldn't seem to weave into my normal ranting monologues.

Kansas just can seem to make up it's mind about what to teach kids about the origin of life and has reacted to international ridicule by once again rewriting the guidelines of it's science curriculum to strike out the recently added references to the theory of intelligent design. Of course, just up and outlawing the practice of evolution would solve the problem nicely. My views on the subject are complex to say the least, however considering how many genes much of life on earth share, if god did do it he was very very lazy.

Former NBA all star Tim Hardaway says he hates gay people. So he hates gays, there are people that don't like him for things he can't change too. Granted the majority of them aren't gay, most gay people loooooove black men, or at the very least are extremely curious. What I find interesting is that he didn't apologize for being homophobic but just regretted expressing it so publicly. Any bets on when this celeb is announcing a stint in Rehab?

Who'd a thunk it! It turns out girls really are gross.

Serial vs. Parallel Dating. Rewire your relationships today!

I just love comics that deal with 'issues'. It's like Reefer Madness only with pictures.

Experts have come out saying that the trend of sexualizing women in the media is harming young girls. Come on, we live in the age where they are giving Viagra to babies, what harm could a little makeup do?

Take one tour bus full of vacationing seniors, add 3 muggers and what do you get? Seniors gone wild!

Poverty, genocides and starvation aside there's been a lot of weird shit going down in Africa lately. For instance...

Throw away those nasty anti-virals. Green tea and Bananas are all it takes to slay HIV, at least according to Gambia's president.

WTF?! Whoever thought cargo cults would have turned out to be so popular? The gods must still be crazy.

Popo is in the news again! That wacky lascivious bat demon, Popo Bawa, just can't keep it in his pants. A creature with a supernatural sex drive and a monster member that sneaks into peoples rooms and sodomizes them for hours. In my neighborhood that's considered a tourist attraction not a curse. I wonder if he looks like any of these newly classified batty beasts.

Flooding in Mozambique, civil war in Darfur, islamist unrest in Mogadishu, drought in Ethiopia. Pick an African country (any one will do), and chances are good 15,000 brown people have died there recently.

On the international scene, the deadline set by the UN for Iran to stop enriching uranium has come and past and Iran shows no signs of slowing down. The US has responded to Iran's request for unconditional and most likely very frank talks, by moving a great deal of military might into the region and expressing a fond desire to bomb them. Of course they are still accusing the Iranians of destabilizing Iraq by quoting ambiguous intelligence from anonymous sources which may be ever so slightly exaggerated. Hmm...sound familiar? Take a look at what other people have to say on the topic at this BBC forum.

Once again life imitates art (or at least sarcasm), as someone must have read my previous suggestion on how the Palestinian Authority can stabilize its economy. Because now they really are opening call centres! Any bets on how long it takes the Israelis to bomb these too?

In a bizarre attempt to unify the Anglican communion, the house of bishops has decided to fracture it even further. It seems sort of odd until you check this handy Faith vs. Science flow chart and then you'd be surprised at how much sense it makes.

There are a few tricks that will come in handy if you want to survive the inevitable rise of the machines.

Extreme car security! Fun with Tesla coils or fun with Flame throwers. Pick your package because I'm sure that these won't be standard features any time soon.

2007-02-15T08:56:00.000-05:00

Today's round up for the philosophical, 11 deep thoughts from people who thought way to much so we don't have to.

It turns out it's not just an optical illusion, beautiful skinny people really are making the rest of us fat.

From critiquing their nuclear program to accusing them of helping terrorists, the U.S. administration just can't stop talking about Iran. Are they trying to soften the world up for another round of trademark shock and awe or just blowing hot air? Taking at face value Ahmadinejad's denials of the latest allegations of meddling in Iraq, there is something so familiar about the timing and the provocative tone of the recent rhetoric coming from the U.S. that makes one wonder. Ahmadinejad has been doing some PR of his own tho. Even some U.S.Generals are weighing in with some conclusions contradicting those of the White House.

The issue Intelligence experts face is not so much one of a lack of evidence. Sure, it's easy to pull some wires and twisted metal out of the ground and say it came from Iran, even tho claiming it comes from the highest levels of the Iranian hierarchy is pushing it just a bit. The real issue is what people now consider acceptable evidence. After years of being force fed flashy crime drama's it's certainly not a PowerPoint slide show. The briefing would have gone over much better had it included shots of sexy inspectors with crime kits, traces of sand only found in Iran, bits of metal dripping with DNA and video of well dressed investigators forcefully yet respectfully interrogating hip Iranian anti-heroes until they cracked and confessed.

The U.S. Army has redoubled it's efforts to recruit more criminals! Granted, I'm sure with the number of wars going on at the moment is thinning out the number of 'victors' that are signing up. But is arming criminals and sending them to the most lawless corners of the globe going to rehabilitate them somehow or just result in more unfortunate war crimes?

Keeping with the Military theme, most of us have rented this movie, you know the one where young uncut Russian soldiers get all hot and bothered and go wild over each other in the truck, in the shower, in the barracks, in the woods, etc. Apparently this fantasy isn't that far from the truth as Russia is looking into allegations that it's military has been pimping out the boys for some time now in a case of good porn gone horribly wrong.

In a case that can only be described as odd, all the uncut boys at a Kenyan high school were sent home with letters saying to stay home until the foreskins were gone. Apparently the school administration was concerned that the boys would be bullied or mocked. I'm not sure what they are thinking, as all the feedback I've ever received about mine has been extremely complimentary.

Those wacky Nigerians are at it again. Bucking the trend of countries passing same sex legislation or at least decriminalizing gay relations, Nigeria wants to declare itself a rainbow free zone with harsh mandatory sentences for those that like that double fudge sorta love.

I don't know about anyone else, but I can think of about 2 things I use my toilet for. Then again, I've always gone for the base model, as opposed to a fully tricked out john. Honestly tho, if my toilet is going to talk to me all I want to hear is praise.

There has been an abundance of weird news floating about lately. In a move that I'm sure will outrage PETA, while tangling with a police dog a suspect actually bit the dog first. No word if he's had his shots, although sources close to the investigation say the gentleman will not be euthanized. Which brings up an interesting point, why is it that animals that bite people get death row, but people that bite people don't even go to jail?

Then there was this German gentleman that was so distraught by airport security that he took off his pants.

American researchers have concluded that marijuana is as effective at relieving pain as prescription opiates. The report goes on to say that many people living with chronic pain shy away from powerful opiate based pain killers because they, (and I love this), cause drowsiness and confusion. Like potheads are such a lucid bunch?

Despite heavy funding from celebrity psychic networks, Princeton's ESP lab, also known by the charming acronym 'PEAR', will be closing its doors. Officials from the lab say that the news didn't come as a surprise.

Chip and computer companies have been hard at work fulfilling the prophecy of Moore's law. Intel has recently created a chip with 80 cores that's capable of teraflop processing. It sounds silly, but a trillion calculations per second is a lot. The chip is so powerful no one knows what the hell to do with it, let alone how to program for it. IBM too has come up with a few novel changes to PC architecture that promise to deliver a huge performance boost to the machines.

So far the software companies have not done as good a job at keeping up with technology. Unless you were hibernating, it would have been difficult to miss the much lauded launch of Windows Vista, the self proclaimed 'securest' OS Microsoft has ever unleashed on its hapless users. This week they launched it's first security update, patching over 20 kinks in the Windows armor. Not a good sign, but did we really expect anything less?

Ending off this weeks technology rant, it might be my helpdesk background but this video of a monk that calls IT for help with a book just slayed me.

A thousand ways to say '404:Page Not Found'

2007-02-13T11:13:00.000-05:00

Fit to be Clicked: The Valentines Day Edition

Love it or hate it, Valentines day is descending upon us in a flurry of kinky toys and heart shaped chocolates. I think the whole thing is a load of hooey myself, dreamed up by under appreciated housewives and marketing execs to have us show our love the best way how. Nothing says I love you better then spending wads of cash on flowers, restaurants, kidneys and lets not forget the aforementioned kinky toys. The list goes on and on, and if you don't happen to have a honey at the moment, you can always pick up something nice for that special cat or dog in your life.

Overwhelmed by the thought of showing affection? Lovingyou.com comes to the rescue with this handy guide to the Day-o-Love.

A pair of Neolithic skeletons were dug up in Rome recently, it seems that they were buried together in an embrace that's lasted over 5000 years. Officials have announced that their eternal embrace won't be interrupted when they are moved for further study. That's a love that's lasted forever, unlike the much publicized astronaut love triangle that's been floating around the news of late. Remember tho, in space no one can hear you moan.

If your looking to do something special with your sweetheart this year, try breaking this new world record.

From what I can tell from all the buzz, the modern Valentines Day is about two things; chocolate (dark is better) and prescription free chemically enhanced sex. Preferably both at the same time. So it's not surprising that kinky toys and aphrodisiacs are flying off the shelves. Nothing spices things up like toys toys toys. However, there are a few things you might want to know about so called aphrodisiacs. Before you all run off and set the vibrator on Stun, remember that safer sex is better sex. Leave it to the BBC to tell us how to wrap it up in every way imaginable.

Now set the mood with these Top 5 Cheesy Love songs and some of these foods made for lovin'.

Ah yes, and don't forget to pick up a suitably amorous card. Whatever you do just make sure its not any of these unfortunate valentines. Hysterical as they may be, these Ecards from The Onion might not go over any better.

There is no such thing as a guilt free snack for this guy. He's asking to go to jail over the sinful treat. We all know about blood diamonds, but isn't blood chocolate pushing it?

Are you worried that your heart might be two sizes too small? Find out at Livescience.

Researchers have shed a bit of light on why women like to sleep with hot guys but don't marry them. They think it's because hot guys might not make the best parents and thus doom themselves to life with average guys who hopefully can't do much better either. Other research shows that it's nature that decides who can and can't keep their genes in their pants.

All of the Valentines Day fun is not only for the blissfully joined however, if you've found yourself unhappily uncoupled this year there is a great deal you can do as a bitter unloved single as well.

Love, lust and Loyalty. Find out how you stack up with this steamy survey!

Kick of the lascivious fun now with these Valentines themed games.

2007-02-10T12:06:00.000-05:00

Russian Officials claim that the source of Orange snow that's been falling in Western Siberia is still a mystery. That's right, strange colored snow is falling in heartland of Russia's petrochemical industry and no one can figure why. Now I'm not going to jump the gun and accuse pollution for the foul smelling precipitation, that would be unscientific. After all, it's rained some pretty strange things, possibly even extraterrestrials.

There's been a lot of action in the middle east this past week. Hamas and Fatah have reached yet another truce. After weeks of infighting, relieved Palestinians took the opportunity to reload and stir up trouble in Israel. I just love the way Israeli's 'negotiate'.

Iraq is a touchy subject for the U.S. President as the democrats get set to floor a resolution condemning sending more troops to Iraq. Of course, it's a non-binding resolution meaning that nothing needs to be done about it, and no one is responsible if they are wrong. The Whitehouse sees this latest drive by the democrats to discredit the war in Iraq as downright irresponsible, especially now that it has 'credible intelligence' that Iran is mucking about in Iraqi affairs. Not to be critical of U.S. Intelligence, but have we not seen this song and dance before? It's like Deja Vu all over again.

I have recently been accused of making light of the very serious situation in Iraq, and I am. With daily reports of bombings, kidnappings, assassinations, and the count of murdered and maimed reaching into the hundreds of thousands, if I didn't laugh I'd weep for the species. For a much more visceral view of daily life in Iraq, I highly recommend Michael Yons Online Magazine. This last post in particular illustrating the difference between a martyr and a murderer.

On the topic of Terrorists, the Unabomber worries about his legacy.

Has there been an ad campaign more dissected and commented on then Apples 'PC and Mac' commercials? Loath or love 'em, some people have pretty strong views. I really like this one with the security guard tho.

John McCain, that wacky U.S. Senator is proposing a bill to create a database of Illegal images, presumably to make life difficult for the child porn industry. The bill it a bit fuzzy on precisely what would make an image illegal, and how Internet providers are supposed to track them. As some of you may remember, I recently ranted about the inanity of dateline busting Sickos. As a result of the latest instalment of 'To Catch a Predator', One of the creeps they caught actually posted an apology on his blog. Which, by the way, also features an impressive gallery of women's feet. Strange... Still no word from from NBC about about publicly humiliating people that do terrible things to their own kids.

Brokeback mutton anyone? Researchers don't see what the big deal is but PETA and Gay rights groups are outraged over new research into un-gaying animals. The ethical implications of it are fairly broad, after all would you want to live in a world full of bad hair and no fashion sense? I feel for the wooly little fellas, being stripped of thier gayness by having thier 'fabulous' gene switched off. Here are 10 other fabulous animals.

I have accounts practically everywhere, Myspace, Yahoo, Google, Flikr, Livespace, Hotmail, ad nauseum. It's a veritable cornucopia of user names and passwords to services that, at some point, I was convinced I couldn't live without but use just as much as the Juicer I bought from the Home Shopping Channel. Now I have another account that makes no secret of its complete uselessness.

My VisualDNA

2007-02-10T10:19:00.000-05:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

2007-02-07T13:08:00.000-05:00

The Wednesday Wood


Chris Evans was born in 1981, Massachusetts, USA. This 6' 1/2" tall actor is known for Fantastic Four, Not Another Teen Movie, and The Perfect Score.

Channing Tatum was born in 1980, Alabama. 6'1" tall actor is best known for Havoc, Coach Carter, and She's the Man. His name is misspelled frequently Chaning Tatum.

2007-02-05T20:18:00.000-05:00

Fit To Be Clicked

The mining industry is hitting back at activist groups with a documentary of thier own about craven environmentalists keeping the poor people down. Perfectly ordinary people claim to be pefectly capable of destroying the rain forest themselves without the backing of either lobby group.

The volcano atomizer. This is greatist gadget ever.

Marketing wise, some say that the Superbowl Ads this year were just as good as the lackluster game. See them all decide for yourself here, some are pretty witty. Some could have used an endearing has-been for instant appeal. What is so special about Superbowl slots when you can even advertise in space now?

Life imitates Art. One of GM's Superbowl ads this year featured an assembly robot being fired. Not to be outdone, Chrysler lays off 10,000 real people the very next day. It's tongue in cheek sure. Considering U.S. automakers are being driven out of business, the irony is unavoidable.

Everything seems to be blowing up lately. From letters in London to several things daily in Iraq. It's almost as if someone is trying to break a world record. President bush has recently mentioned that it is a good thing the Iraqis are begging for the added security that extra troops will bring. Meanwhile troops in Iraq spread out in a 'rolling surge' of more violence. These other places don't get many marks for their tourist appeal either.

When traveling in foreign countries, it may not always be clear what is considered acceptable, what can get you in trouble and what might brand you as the depraved child of a whoring goat. Just read what happened to this bunch of tourists when they decided to whoop it up in Saudi Arabia. It's like Hostel only with Arabs this time.

There is good naked, and bad naked.

on the topic of epidemics. Not only are there more fat kids then ever before, the little lard-ass's are fatter then ever these days. Heck when even poor kids are fat you know society has a serious eating disorder. What are concerned parents doing about this? Are they sitting the tatertots down in front of their positively aerobic Nintendo Wii? Sending them for a fun filled summer at Fat Camp? Or god forbid, making them go outside to play? Goodness no, if it were that easy everyone would be doing it! Keeping with standard North American thinking on health and nutrition, they are taking their beloved butterballs for Gastric bypass surgery.

Today I found out that Jimmy Choo shoes aren't made by Jimmy Choo. Confusing the semantics even more, Jimmy Choo hasn't made Jimmy Choo shoes for Jimmy Choo Shoes for quite some time. That being the case, are they really Jimmy Choo shoes even if they aren't Jimmy Choos shoes?

Feeling a bit bored? Design your very own M&M!

2007-02-01T15:53:00.000-05:00

Fit to be Clicked

Garden gnomes must die, they are an affront to good taste and a blight on gardens the world over. We are talking total eradication before they rise up against us. Already mergnomes are luring divers to their deaths, it won't be long until they strike us en mass. We should not be shocked by events like the recent Gnomeville massacre and the genocidal Midlands garden gnome cull. Complete unprejudiced annihilation of their kind is the only way to safeguard humanity from the growing garden gnome menace. I advise taking them out whenever and wherever you spot them. A 9-Iron works well, however you'll get some great distance with a 3-Wood. 'Nuff said.

The chances of finding B movie martians out there slimmed down significantly this week. While astrobiologists agree that Mars is harboring a frozen sea which will probably be a good spot to look for life or it's remnants, the planets surface has been scoured and scorched by millions of years of bombardment by cosmic radiation. Any life smart enough to avoid an agonising death by ionizing radiation would have had to have fled underground at around the same time the planets oceans and atmosphere evaporated into space... or did they? Life is a tenacious thing (just ask anybody that's had a yeast infection), sure it takes time to get started, but once it gets up to speed good luck trying to stop it. Just take a look at these extreme little fellas for example.

Back on earth and touching on the often revisited theme of global warming, scientists report that our glaciers are melting faster then ever before. This is old news. The U.S. administration is still supposedly coercing its scientists to downplay the causes and effects of Climate change. In what must be seen as a great stroke of luck for Climate Change nay-sayers, calculations in the soon to be released so called 'Doomsday Report on our Climate' by the the U.N.'s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change won't include the effects of recent mass meltings in Antarctica, Greenland and Northern Canada. This doesn't mean their contribution to the situation isn't significant, it's just that the U.N.'s panel of esteemed climatologists didn't expect them to melt so darned quick and aren't sure how to model it. On paper at least, this upgrades the Earths prognosis to cheerfully bleak.

On the topic of the environment, I just love the way companies are embracing the publics new found Eco-consciousness. Not by actually making a friendlier product, but by portraying thier products in the greenest possible light. From not so organic dry cleaning to clean energy made from well... dirty energy. No product is too small to be greenwashed. Here are a few more of by favorite 'Greened' Products.

Just when I thought there was no possible way to cram any more caffeine into my diet, Coffee Donuts hit the scene!

Is it just me or is NBC Dateline's continuing obsession with online pedophiles is starting to get old? In a grab for ratings 'To Catch a Predator' returns for a 6th instalment of sicko busting journalism. Let's face it, if there is one thing we have learned from this show it's that luring perverts it's easy. Let's see them lure infantcidal mothers to a bathtub party, or give disturbed yet misunderstood teens tickets to the prom. Now that's infotainment.

North Korea is back at the nuclear negotiating table. After holding out through years of fuel and economic sanctions, the country agreed to resume multi-lateral talks after only a few months of being denied booze, designer clothes and other luxury goods. This proves that International sanctions are just as effective as taking away your teens Ipod and confirms something most people have suspected for a while, they just like talking about Nukes.

Moving along to the middle east, Israel breathed a sigh a relief when a newly negotiated ceasefire between rival Palestinian factions, Hamas and Fatah lasted a whole two hours before they resumed tearing apart what little is left of the Gaza strip and continuing the long shred of their aspirations to statehood. Now I'm not one to impose my corrupt western moral values on such a culturally rich and proud people, but maybe it's time they stop bickering amongst themselves, open a few international call centres, make a bit of money, rebuild some infrastructure and get on with expelling the infidels from the holy land already.

Miami is bracing for Superbowl weekend and Doritos wasted no time in exploiting Times person of the year, the ever ubiquitous 'You', by having Doritos fans make their commercial for them. Take a stroll down memory lane with these downright viral Superbowl advertising exploits of days gone by. Showing up Britney while showing that he has absolutely no pride whatsoever,Kevin Federline headlines for a Superbowl Ad too. Here are 5 more celebrity ex-couples msnbc thinks would make a good ad.

Scientists project that by 2030 AIDS,(not one of my favorite topics, it brings me down), will beat out respiratory infections for spot number 3 on the global list of things people die from. Which all sounds very dire until you take into consideration that it is already #4. Recently, another promising treatment just didn't pan out, when researchers found out that the anti-HIV gel they were testing in India and South America actually increased chances of contracting the disease. The cake goes to the Aids Healthcare Foundation, in true American style they are litigating against Pfizer, the makers of Viagra. The suit will allege that the marketing of the drug portrays the pill as positively recreational, which is irresponsible as everybody knows that gay men with four hour hard-ons will use them.

On the topic of queer things, (and I mean that as both 'gay' and the 'odd' at the same time) Pakistan's most popular TV personality is a Drag Queen. On the topic of drag, is you're cleavage just not doing it for you? Try Lavender.

After a rash of pageant scandals, the newly crowned Miss America vowed to live the straight and narrow while at the same time Tara Connors, the newly rehabed Miss USA, revealed that she's not only an alcoholic, but a coke head too. From showing up in Penthouse to being unable to control their fertility, the Miss's just can seem to live up to the living Barbie image that these pageants engender. Society has outgrown quaint social graces such as congeniality and talent. It's time for some new categories that better reflect the modern experience of female celebrity.

Feeling artistic and nostalgic? Try out the virtual LiteBrite

2007-01-29T20:12:00.000-05:00

Tuesdays Morning Wood

Just for Steffen,Andy Roddick born August 30, 1982) is an American professional tennis player and a former World No. 1. He is the top-ranked American player and fourth-ranked player in the world. He finished sixth in the 2006 ATP Race.

Fit To Be Clicked
It seems that everyone's been having fun with Microwaves this week. Scientists have told us that zapping towels and sponges on high for a few minutes is like waging genocide on germs. After putting out a few kitchen blazes emergency fire services are suggesting that may not be the best thing to do. The U.S Army has come up with a novel application of microwave technology too, they're testing systems that will fry the enemy and toast a pizza pocket at the same time. No word on the long term effects of microwaving human beings are, but I'm sure it can't be good.

Ford Motor car has lost billions...again. This should come as no surprise has the company has been hemorrhaging cash for years now. Blaming their losses on low demand for their gas guzzling behemoths, high fuel prices and stiff competition from unamerican companies that don't make gas guzzling behemoths, Ford executives assured share holders that they fully realize their business reality and are dealing with it in several creative ways including sinking even more billions into hydrogen guzzling behemoths.

Today in entertainment history: Being the first Bond Film ever to make it past Chinese censors, Casino Royale recently opened in a thousand Chinese theaters. Moving swiftly to quell the tide of immorality that viewing such a film would surely unleash in the country, Chinese officials have advised their Olympic organisers not to act like him.

Spies just aren't what they used to be. Why is it that the astonishingly well funded intelligence programs of Coalition countries just can't seem to find and eliminate militant leaders, Taliban, etc... while BBC journalists can just wander in for tea and do a puff piece for their Insurgent Leader of the Week column?

Have you noticed all the cute animal stories in the news lately? At the top of the list is the good news that my all time favorite animal, the Gray Wolf, is set to be declared 'No Longer Endangered'. I'd be all set to throw a Howl-in-the-face-of-extinction party if it wasn't for the fact that people just can't wait to kill them. Which may well work out for them in the long run. It turns out that spiders have been throwing Raves since forever now, and then there is Perky, the duck that just wouldn't die. Finally there is 10 other things animals do.

If you're looking to pass some time, try Scribble.

2007-01-25T09:34:00.000-05:00

Fit to be clicked

From formalwear to chew toys, the products for pets market has been on fire lately. And has reached a new level altogether now that you're beloved pooch can enjoy a few refreshing brews with you and your chums. That's right, now fifi and fido can be an alcoholic just like daddy. Interestingly enough, they seem to be able to handle booze better then thier owners though.

Reproductive technology has made some interesting ethical strides as well, sperm from dead fathers, eggs from dead mothers, and now if your own uterus just isn't doing it for you, you can trade it in for a previously enjoyed model. Sure it worked on mice, but this is a human issue after all. Admitedly my ethics are dubious at the best of times, I'm all for another round of flipper babies but even I think zombie babies are a touch disturbing. I just can't help but question the wisdom of giving immunosupressant drugs with warnings like, "Do not take this if you are pregnant, planning to become pregnant or if you're even planning on attending a baby shower", to women that obviously would like to do just that.

On the topic of wombs. Researchers report that both young and old, women just can't stop getting pregnant. In thier defence nature has optimized them for the task and apparently birth control doesn't work anyway. Some girls, like the lovely lizard Flora here won't even wait for a man to do the deed, even tho Mozart the iguana seems to have serious libido issues of his own.

The big news in space is that Nasa's New Horizons probe is bearing down on its rendezvous with Jupiter where Jupiter’s gravity will fling it into the outer depths of the solar system at a breakneck speed so that it can tell Pluto that it's been demoted.
On a slightly more upbeat note, the moon is doomed. And for that matter so is the earth, and everything else. Cosmologists are such optimistic people aren't they? Add global warming to the mix and the future looks down right rosy. The message here folks: The grandkids are already screwed, so over-consume and enjoy life now since future generations won’t have the chance.

Proving that people will get upset over just about anything. Critics of Uri Geller, (You know, that wacky Israeli who's superpower seems to be limited to bending spoons which has been known to inexplicably fail during live TV broadcasts), are attacking his new show 'The Successor' alleging that no real magic happens. Apparently this may damage people that think he actually can bend spoons with his mind.

Moving to the international scene, as if dealing with Bird flu wasn't enough for Chinas poultry population, now they need watch out for the neighbors kids too.

Efforts to contain the generally rampant crime in Mexico have gone both high and low tech. Officers in Mexico City have been implanted with RFID chips as a deterent to them being kidnapped, and in Tijuana they've taken guns away from the police and replaced them with slingshots. It may just be me, but if the police kidnappings are a problem, maybe they need guns.

The nice folks in the US homeland security 'information sharing environment' office are trying to simplify terror alerts in a effort to speed up how long it takes alerts to actually alert people. Considering the level most of the bureaucracy seems to operate at, I suggest using Muppets.

What happens when all those little white lies you tell about your virtual self to all the virtual people out there on the Net spill out into real life? Bizarre internet love triangles and murder apparently.

On the topic of virtual lives, the BBC is launching virtual world for the Kiddies. While expected to be fairly similar to the other massively multiplayer online offerings, parents can rest assured that their kids are safe in this virtual oasis of childhood innocence because there are no chat rooms. That's right, those malign seedy chat rooms where the sickos hunt your babies that Nightline can't seem to stop reporting about aren't there. Of course, your child can still swap photos, browse profiles, send telegrams and share stories with pedophiles, but thank god they can't chat with them. My advice to parents? Steer clear of virtual worlds and encourage your kids to mess up their first life, before going off and messing up a second one.

Ninja Kittens take down Coca-Cola...well ninja style I guess.

Ergonomics meets 1984.This Workstation, either belongs on the space station, or in an orwellian torture chamber. I haven't been Able to figure out which.

2007-01-22T10:18:00.000-05:00

Fit to be Clicked

The war on drugs seems to be heating up. Not satisfied with the raiding just gangs and organized crime, the DEA is now shaking down the terminally ill. I'm not sure if the DEA is somehow intimidated by real criminals or they just think the mellowed out elderly, the infirm and aids patients are an easy mark. Seeing as the DEA has so far declined to comment on the recent raids on the homes and businesses of medical marijuana activists and on the compassion clubs they support, I think they need to be reminded that Reefer Madness was not a documentary.

On the topic of smoking, Health officials are all aflutter with the news that nicotine levels in cigarettes have been on the rise for the past 8 years. One big old 'Duh!' to them. After years of persecution from government and lobby groups, can one really be surprised that the industry retaliated by making their product more addictive then ever? But don't think more efficient smokes are necessarily a bad thing. I congratulate the tobacco companies environmental stewardship. More nicotine means you have to smoke less often to get your fix, thus reducing the risk of Cancer and taking pressure of the medical system, while at the same time lowering Carbon emissions from chain smokers helping governments meet their Kyoto commitments. This deserves an award. At least big tobacco hasn't found about this real live Tomacco yet!

In the animal world, a Chimpanzee named Teresa has had a virgin birth. While officials at the retirement home for out of work lab chimps are hesitant to call it a miracle, preferring the much more reasonable hypothesis that one of her male companions had a bad vasectomy, there really isn't evidence one way or another yet. Scientists at the reserve will be comparing DNA from the male chimps to determine who needs another snip. I can't help but wonder if Chimps are so endangered, why they are being sterilized?

Not satisfied with the current super bugs that we can't stop from killing people, scientists have revived the Spanish Flu for some odd reason. While it may be unpatriotic not to support our hard working lab animals, I think there is something a wee bit inhumane about infecting animals with a virus we already know leads to a painful death and then graphing the precise moment their lungs explode and they expire in a frothy
crimson heap.

The bright side to all this animal testing is that recently it has led scientists to find yet another cure for cancer that won't make money because it can't be patented and thus will never be marketed by drug companies.

On the Topic of Oprah, Forbes magazine is passing off as news something that even dogs already know, Oprah is richer then God. Unless of course, Oprah is God. In which case it's just bad taste on their part to write about her that way. On the topic of Oprah and God, it seems they've had a bit of a falling out.

On the international scene, in an attempt to clean up its image after that whole genocide afair, Rwanda is scrapping the death penalty. Ironic yes, but better late then never I suppose.

Adding to the growing list of things that are bad for you, apparently your Vitamins may be too. Apples though are healthier then ever.

People have been down on SETI lately for not finding the aliens that statistically must be out there somewhere. It's heartening to know that the aliens haven't been having much luck finding us either.

One of these things is not like the others. But it may explain why so many of us have no clue what is going on in the world.

This makes my brain hurt, but it is fun to look at.

2007-01-21T21:46:00.000-05:00

Fit to be Clicked

Back in my university days, I opted into a great little course called The Bible in Literary Context, where my fellow students and I spent the semester decoding the good book and re-contexting it into modern English while discussing the fabulous tales therein. Patricide, murder, intrigue, orgies, bestiality, incest and rape, no subject is too taboo for the authors of this historical drama to skirt. A great many people admit they've just skimmed the great work, you know; eough to get the 'gist' of it. Having been endorsed by the Christian churches and not once recommended by Oprah's book club, it's understandable that some would think its a bit dry. During my clicking I came across David Plot's Bible Commentary Blog, which is a must read for anyone looking for the layman's lowdown on the Bible and it's funny as heck.

Suspecting a problem with my hit counter, as it seems to only move when I load the page. I hit the web looking for some explanation and found a whole ten reasons no one reads my blog.

The Zoological Society of London has launched a very undarwinian campaign to protect weird species. Having few close genetic relatives, these species are so evolutionarily distinct that many represent the last bud on their branch of the proverbial tree of life, much like this delicious ape. The concept of natural selection demonstrates that species become extinct for exactly this reason; because they are weird and only the most desperate examples of the species can bare to mate with each other. I'm all for bio-diversity, but this takes valuable resources away from normal endangered species that at least showed enough initiative to evolve normally and proliferate like the rest of us.

They told me fat caused heart attacks, so I cut down. Then they said carbs cause cancer, so no more midnight cookies. Then Trans-fats, coffee, truffles. One by one, all the foodstuffs that made this country great fell to the nutritionists blade. The drive to label everything unhealthy has just gone too far! Now even water is bad for you.

And of course, the news everyone's been talking about. Iraq's former benevolent dictator Saddam and his aids swung from the gallows this month. Well, one just sort of fell right through, but two out of three isn't so bad. Reaction from around the world has ranged from severe to bemused. Iraq vehemently defends it's gallows saying that they are in accordance with international standards. Which would all be very nice, if disturbing, if there were such standards. The U.N assures us execution is a violation of human rights no matter where you live, unless you happen to be Saddam Husien.

On the topic of Iraq, the latest totals show the U.S.'s Continuing victory in the country has so far drawn in around 35,000 Involuntary Victors. Many agencies claim there are most likely many more victors that are just to modest or maimed to be counted. It is rumored that the Iraqi government, wanting to share this victory with it's close neighbors, is encouraging the U.S. to exit their country via Iran. Already concerned about this possibility Iran's government has purchased supplies from the Pentagon. No wonder sanctions never work.

This is a fun game, if you like drawing lines and maiming tobogganers. Line Rider

2007-01-14T14:52:00.000-05:00

Mondays Morning Wood

21 year old Brazilian hottie Rodrigo Calazans most recent achievement is fronting Terra's 'The Boys' marketing drive.

Fit to be clicked

Scientists have uncovered a novel new tool in the fight against lung cancer, a vacine that attacks tumours. While exciting news for smokers, a group of chickens with only the slightest bit of genetic encouragement now lay cancer fighting eggs. Can such helpful critters really be so bad for us? According the the U.S. FDA's logic; If you just clone them first, the issue goes away.

Just when you've burnt out your adrenal glands from years of caffeine abuse. They make coffee even better!

The Doomsday clock is on the move. Due to trivial things like, global warming, a new nuclear arms race, and worsening global relations all around, a group of so-called 'Scientists' have decided to move a broken clocks hands to another arbitrary position. While symbolic, is it any more credible then any of the other The-end-is-nye excercises out there? Once we sort through Paris Hilton and the rest of the 10,000 reasons Civilization is doomed, one sort of wonders what it is we are looking to save.

Todays weird news

Don't put your kids in the washing machine, and other things manufacturers have to warn us not to do.

What kind of wedding planner invites a buffalo?

2007-01-12T16:27:00.000-05:00

Fit to be clicked:

The future of Cellular Kicks off with a lawsuit. Apple has defended its descision to name the newest addition to the I(insert-whatever-here) family the iPhone, pointing out that thier product is much cooler then anything Cisco could ever hope to make. Long after this clears up, the future of cell phones looks pretty cool. Historicly speaking, the future always has.

On the topic of Technology, leave it Time magazine's Person of the Year To come up with PS3 vs. Wii, Apple style.

Moving onto Politics, The US President has unveiled his administrations bold new strategy in Iraq, Which seems to include blaming Iran, detaining it's diplomats and completely missing Al-Qaeda targets in Somalia. The new direction seems to be: I take resonsibility, but it's up to everyone else to fix it. This is not so much a bold new strategy, but a rehash of thier strategy after they pulled all of NATO into Afghanistan and then started pulling themselves out.

In todays Realty Listings: Quiant Romanian Castle with rich historical background for sale. Come on Vlad, Renfrew already fell for that one. Although, Apparently Dracula wasn't such a bad guy after all.

Are you happy? The rest of the world seems to be content at the very least.

A long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, astronomers have observed a star cluster. Other then the fact that it is 10 times farther away then any ever observed, it is so unremarkable they most likely won't even get around to giving it a name. A bit closer to home, the Milky Ways very own supermassive black hole, Sagitarius-A has recently enjoyed bite sized snack.

Ok so it wasn't a very exciting week in the cosmos, but the big picture is awe inspiring and here are a few conspiracies from space to liven things up a bit.

Weird Stuff:

Thief steals Urinal from Pub.

Wile on the topic of strange things, I just refuse to accept that goats climb trees.

Functional and Fasionable, it's the Fish and flush!

2007-01-09T21:31:00.000-05:00

The Morning Wood:

Alexandre Despatie is a French Canadian diver. he began diving at age five (in his own backyard pool), and in the 2000 summer Olympics finished in 4th place in the 10 meter platform. Alexandre first came to public attention at the 1998 commonwealth games with an extremely impressive gold medal on the 10 meter platform.

Fit to be clicked:

Oh it is truly a dark day in the world of every 30 something who developed a speech impediment after watching a few too many Scooby Doo marathons. Iwao Takamoto, the creator of the beloved pooch died recently, begging for more Scooby snacks till the last.

Yet another study I wish someone had told me about. Researchers have discovered that sex really is good for you, but only if your a man. There there ladies, at least the chocolate never lets you down.

Politicians from around the world are kicking off the new year round of diplomacy showcasing each countries own take on foreign relations. Canada's foreign Minister Peter McKay is wrapping up a trip to the Afghan region where he handed out cash and clothes to just about everyone he could convince to join the local police forces. After playing Santa, he roughed up Pakistan with some tough talk on border security. Hoping to avoid any further attention from the military branch of Tim Horton's, Pakistan emptied it's jails and auctioned off a record number of 'terrorist' prisoners to the US so it could purchase a few land mines to sprinkle around its border areas.

Finally fed up with constant taunting and nuclear saber rattling from North Korea, the US has decided to send a clear message to Kim Jong Il and has bombed Somalia for some reason. In an attempt to quell rumors surrounding the Administrations plans for Iraq, which he is set to reveal Wednesday. The US president has given us a sneak preview of the bold new direction, more of the same.

Meanwhile, The chemistry in the middle east can be described in 2 words, positively atomic. Iran's Supreme Leader; Ayatollah Ali Khamenei told off just about every one, vowing his country would continue to pursue it's nuclear ambitions. Israeli officials were pleased with Iran's position as it justified Israel's plan to initiate its own Middle east peace plan.
After considering admitting Polar Bears to the exclusive Endangered Species club, the US administration has continued it's efforts to woo the Green lobby and announced that it is now developing environmentally friendly Hybrid Nuclear warheads, which not only boast improved fuel economy, but also limit total devastation to a few square miles. Not to be out done by it's former cold war nemesis, Russia's entered a rocket in the new arms race too. So much from Non-Proliferation.

It's all enough to makes some people just get up and sell their Country.

The Astronomy world was rocked by cosmic temporal vandalism. Hubble's Iconic snap of the Eagle Nebula detailing the Pillars of Creation in '95. Actually evaporated into space after being rocked by a Supernova over 6000 years ago. As light from the mighty blast, which occurred over 7000 years ago, is just reaching earth now, if you have the time, the Eagle nebula is the place to watch for the next thousand years. Talk about network lag.

With all the press Microsoft has been getting lately, I just couln't resist posting this one. Sorry Tux.

2007-01-08T22:52:00.000-05:00

The Morning Wood

Karl Davies, an actor from the series Emmerdale was borin in August 1982 . This 5' 9" Leo was born in Stockport, Cheshire, England, UK. Among His first film/tv projects you can find: "Stars in Their Eyes: Celebrity Special (1998)", "Fat Friends: Fat Chance (#1.2) (2000)", "Peak Practice (1993)".His later/recent projects include: "Dolphins (2006)", "Kingdom: (#1.1) (2007) "Emmerdale: The Sugden Family Album (2005)".

Fit to be clicked!

Taser Inc, has taken their marketing in a new direction. As opposed to targeting Law-Enforcement, Taser's new C3 stun gun seems to be aimed at opening up that burgeoning market of Fashionistas that just won't carry something unless it co-ordinates with the rest of their accessories. Fabulous, Fun and Flashy! Personal protection has never been so stylish. While not as lethal as a firearm, you still might manage to kill if you try hard enough. I've never been hit by one, but this vid makes it look kinda fun.

After deciding that the recent deluge of Black hole sightings just wasn't sensational anymore, our astronomers and cosmologists seem to have kicked things up a notch by creating a 3D map of the relatively local universe that notes the location of other stuff we can't see in places too far away to ever get to. While there sure is whole lot of the alleged Dark Stuff out there, the rest of the universe seems to be a fairly fluffy place. Not content with with the current mass extinction underway on earth Nasa's been pursuing another one of humanities favorite hobbies which is to seek out new life...and kill it.

Why is it that Americans like to turn nouns into verbs? Reports say that they have elected 'Plutoed' as 2006's word of the year. It takes the tiara from 2005's 'DixieChicked', which by the way is also not a word and has a strikingly similar definition. I won't come down on them for their grasp of vocabulary, but their powers of observation could use a boost. Cnn reports something the rest of the world has known for decades, New York stinks.

Bill gates has declared that this is the digital decade, and I certainly can't argue that. This is the decade that brought us the Jet Powered Beer Cooler, the Telepathic Typewriter and self cleaning underwear, and more!. Some people don't quite share his enthusiasm for technology however. Speaking of Bill, Microsoft has given us yet another reason not to buy a ford. They've partnered up and unveiled a new system that lets people's cars control their cell phones and MP3 players and gives the car the ability to download content from the internet. Sure web enabled cars sound cool, but seeing as the internets killer app is Porn, Porn, Porn and Microsofts security record sucks, sucks, sucks this does raise concerns over the family station wagon being hijacked by a pop-up and driving to undisclosed porn sites.

On the global scene, I am more and more convinced that the future of North Korea's and Iran's nuclear ambitions depend on them lightening up their restrictions on communication. If they let people use the internet, they wouldn't have to worry about the U.S. restricting their access to nuclear technology, they could just find out how to build a nuclear reactor right on the web.

Charlton Heston's neighbors are alleging that poor maintenance of a hillside bordering the two properties cause a catastrophic mudslide causing $1.2 million of damage their home. Pointing to his advancing Alzheimer's, Heston's attorneys contend that he was simply reprising his role from The Ten Commandments and that their client cannot be held responsible for biblical punishments. Similarly, A recent Mudslide in Brazil has authorities looking into the possibility suing Peru for not properly securing the Andes.

It seems that everyone that's taken ethics in school has an opinion about this whole cloned food row. I'm convinced that McDonalds scientists have been cloning Big Macs for years now, after all can you tell them apart? The FDA says you'd never be able to tell it's not Original and will allow us to create genetically superior food products. We get freaks using traditional reproductive technology. Now don't get me wrong, the science of Cloning has a lot to offer. Personally, I can't wait for the day I can affordably harvest genetically identical spare parts from my clone. I just think we should learn how to use the tools we have already before playing with new ones. The skeptics tell us our food is already too bland to make it all the same, the pessimists say its all the same anyway so what's the big deal and Consumers are just squimish about the idea in general. I say label it and let the consumer decide. On a similar topic, ethicists of dubious credentials have ruled that it is ethical to clone a human, so long as you keep it as a pet.

With all the Buzz around Oprah's new school for desperately poor African girls, I just had to share this picture:

2007-01-06T00:54:00.000-05:00

The Morning Wood

Eric Martsolf,born July 27, 1971 in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, is an American actor. Martsolf got his big break when he landed the role Ethan Winthrop on the NBC soap opera Passions. I'd like to hear this Leo purr.

Fit To be Clicked

There is something to be said about instant food. Today I cooked a pork loin with Brussel sprouts and rice all in under 15 minutes. Microwave ovens are geat things, speeding up cooking by completely sacrificing anything remotely resembling flavor, thus freeing up time we would otherwise use to make our food actually palatable, for more important endeavors, like blogging. :-) Do you remember when hysterical people thought that eating microwaved food was bad for you? Apparently these people are just wrong.

Microwaves aren't bad for you, it's kids that make you fat. On the topic of things kids aren't allowed to eat any more, did you realize that even cheese is bad for them now?

What year would be complete without serious sounding news anchors counting down the most dramatic events of the 12 months? I like the Kids version better. I warn you though, it's freakier then Elmo on fire.

Today Nigeria's Aviation minister sent a strong warning to a few airlines.
It would seem that apparently some airline employees are, in fact, down right rude. And he's just figuring this out now. After watching those nice folks at SouthWest put innocent commuters through traveling hell on a daily basis on A&E's reality show Airline, most people have figured out it's not a black thing. Once you take into account random kidnappings, lavishly appointed jails and disagreements over voting, at a glance rude airline employees look like the least of Nigeria's problems.

Talking about Cosmic Bling. Scientists have theorized that there may be Diamond planets orbiting something far off out there, but this week they way out did themselves and went and discovered a Diamond Star.

A bit closer to home Archeologists are using images from space to find lost ruins. While its a novel application of technology. Kudo's to them, I guess someone has to use it, but why not just used time tested clear cutting?

Here is an interesting clip I found on Youtube. Think heaven meets The Office, but not nearly as funny. It could be funny, I'll wait for the next episode to decide.

Top 5 Superpowers! Which one will you vote for?

You know that celebrity worship has gone to far when Angelina Jolie becomes the Madonna of Wal-Mart .

Todays Weird News

Man needed surgery after sex with hedgehog

(Ananova)-A Serbian man needed emergency surgery after he had sex with a hedgehog on a witchdoctor's advice. Zoran Nikolovic, 35, from Belgrade, says the witchdoctor told him it would cure his premature ejaculation. But he ended up in an operating theatre after the hedgehog's needles left his penis severely lacerated. A hospital spokesman said: "The animal was apparently unhurt and the patient came off much worse from the encounter. We have managed to repair thedamage to his penis."

2007-01-05T18:54:00.000-05:00

The Morning Wood

Rusty Joiner, born December 11 1972, from Alabama. This Sagittarius has modeled for Prada, American Eagle and Structure underwear, he also took up acting on Boston Public, Spin City and CSI Miami, just to name a few.

Fit to be clicked

It's nice that the scientists have confirmed something that even dogs have figured out by now, that being that this year is the warmest EVER. For those that need a bit more proof then Al Gore's propaganda, 'An Inconvenient Truth', there is that small issue with chunks of Canada just up and floating away. Global warming is an issue! Beyond drowning polar bears, disappearing glaciers, the NDP and devastating weather (the unpleasantness just goes on), I've been planning a ski weekend for months and there is NO SNOW, the forecast is +9 degrees (That's Celsius folks). That's not inconvenient Al, its a bloody tragedy! The bright side of Global Warming tho is that it does seem to keep All Gore Busy.

To be fair, erratic weather does let ordinary people to step up and do heroic things. I clicked this touching story about a group of people that risked life and limb in post-Katrina New Orleans to save some canisters of frozen embryos from a drowned out hospital. All over the U.S., people are hatching them like Sea Monkeys now. I can imagine the ethical dilemma these people faced. Heroically retrieve bags of cells from cold storage or Hmm...get real people off their roofs to somewhere safe.

Then there is the cows. I feel for the cows stranded in snow dunes throughout New Mexico, Kansas and Colorado, I really do. What I don't understand is all the fuss. Beef I buy goes strait to the freezer anyway. Beef frozen right on the cow? Now that is what I call fresh!

Now that we are on the topic of what is going on in the rest of the Solar System, Those plucky Mars Rovers have just received a software upgrade that has made them smarter. While the upgrade went off without a hitch there have been complications since they realized that dust and rocks aren't that exciting. I think they would have enjoyed swimming on Titan much more.

You know, I've never really cared about whatever antics he, or even his soon to be ex-wife get up to. But for some reason I found this clip of Kevin Federline having the snot beat out him
strangely satisfying.

Todays Weird News:

Armed robber, 7, in Lego heist

(Ananova)-Police in Florida are looking for a little girl, aged about seven, who tried to steal Lego at knife-point. The girl pulled a knife on a cashier at a Wal-Mart store in Largo as she tried to walk out with two boxes of Lego. Police say the girl, aged about seven or eight, hid the toys under her coat and tried to walk out, reports Tampabays10.com. A store employee approached the child, asking her to turn over the Lego blocks. Police say the little girl then opened her jacket and pulled out a 10ins carving knife. The employee talked the girl into putting down the knife and the toys. The girl then rode away on her bicycle.

A blog Reborn.

2007-01-03T22:55:00.000-05:00

Whoa! What happened to Alternate Reality? Two words: Total Facelift! Ah yes after a year or so of total neglect a bit of change is good. Reincarnated with a totally new format that is actually interesting this time around, Alternate reality lives again. Drop by o check out the daily headlines, or browse the 'Today's Whatever' sections on the right to pick up a few engaging conversation starters. People might actually think you know something the next time you open your mouth at the bar. Of course I'll still inflict my pictures and laconic commentary on you, I'm sure You'd expect nothing less. :-)

So to get right to it, on to...

The Morning Wood.

The French Model, Lucas Kerr was born in 1977 and is 6'1". Not bad for
a 30Something, eh? He's graced the cover of OUT magazine and
appeared in an Absolut! Ad Campaign. My Vodka of choice + one Hot
Frenchman = Todays Morning Wood.

Moving On we have the slightly less...interactive segment that I like to
call..

Fit to be clicked!

On the topic of weird things the French do, lets all get together and protest the Calendar, it kind of puts the recent suburban riots into perspective. I think they just like to difficult.

Top 'however many' of 'whatever' lists seems to start flying like cornflakes this time of year for some reason, check out what 2006 taught us.

Don't get me wrong, I'm as Christmassy as the next guy, but I'm glad
it's over. If you found any of these gifts under the tree, your friends may be trying to kill you or at least your children.

And there will always be Weird News...

Elderly man beats burglar with shoehorn
JUNEAU, Wis. (AP)- An elderly man fended off a would-be burglar with a shoehorn before theman invaded another home and was arrested, the Dodge County Sheriff's Departmentsaid. The man kicked in the door of an elderly couple's home in Lebanon about 1 a.m. Monday, demanded money and threatened to shoot them, the sheriff's department said in anews release. But the husband, who is in his 80s, beat the man around the head with a long shoehorn, forcing him from the home. The intruder and another man then committed another home invasion in the Oconomowoc area and were arrested in Waukesha County, the release said.The Dodge County District Attorney's Office is reviewing the matter for potential charges. "This is one of those crimes that a lengthy sentence just doesn't do justice," Sheriff Todd Nehls said of the Lebanon incident. "The torment and anguish will be with them forever."

You have to wonder who the Sheriff is referring to in that last
sentence... Being beaten up by gramps isn't going to earn them much cred
in jail. I do know that people fending off robbers really isn't so weird,
but the guy's got balls.