Fit to be Clicked

The Autobots and Decepticons have had nifty restyling in the new Transformers movie due for release this July. For those that have missed them, you can take a peak at the movie trailers and photos here. In related news an unknown craft that looks suspiciously like the old Teletran-1 has been spotted in some mountains somewhere, why it has klingon graffiti on it is anyones guess.

On the topic of photoshop jobs, I am trying to decide if Men's Fitness digitally pumped him up or used the old squeeze the biceps trick for Andy Roddick's cover shot for the magazine.

Has reality TV become too visceral? A terminally ill woman in Holland is primed to give away her kidneys in a TV special put on Endemol, the same company that owns the Big Brother franchise. During the 80 minute episode, 'The Big Donor' Lisa will choose which of three lucky contestants will receive her kidneys with the help of text messages send in from viewers.

Talk about looking for the silver lining, researchers have discovered that there is apparently an upside to Herpes. Too bad it might cause Alzheimer's too.

Then again, scientists have been very hard at work contradicting themselves. One group of Scientists recently showed that multi-vitamins may increase ones risk of Colon Cancer, while another team almost simultaneously announced that those fickle vitamins may help you live longer once you have it.

The legal victory of rational over superstition in Philadelphia was short lived. Yes, after a week long crackdown on fortune tellers, the psychics are back to work.

Have your neighbors have jumped on the global warming band wagon? Trading in the old SUV for a hybrid, buying local produce and racking up carbon credits as if they are some kind of crusade to save the planet? Strike back with Carboncreditkillers.com!

I'm not sure what would be worse, trying to explain to you family how you were charged with a DUI in a wheelchair, or explaining to your neighbors that you got a great price for their dachshund at your yard sale.

Scientists ranging from engineers to Neurologists have but their collect brain power together give robots a bit of finesse by building a better robotic brain, or a cerebellum at least (the part of our brain that governs fine motor skills). while this brings us ever closer to that inevitable robot uprising, I think they will need to work on their conversation skills a bit more before we need to worry to much.

It pulses, it throbs, it jiggles around, all in time with your music. Strong-arming for Apple not withstanding, I'm sure this new Igasm Gizmo has a certain niche market writhing in anticipation.

A former employee for IBM is suing the company for wrongful dismissal after he was fired for trolling sex chat rooms on the job. According too the suit, he feels that instead of being fired and despite being warned about the behaviour previously, he should have been offered sympathy and support since it seems hes rather addicted to them.

It seems that you just can't marry your cousin anymore. A Pakistani court has jailed couple of newly weds for an un-Islamic marriage after it was discovered that the husband was really a woman...or at least still to much of a woman despite being a transsexual. While the brides father is pressing for annulment based on the grounds that woman can't marry women under sharia law, the couple insist that he just wants to marry her off to cover an uncles gambling debts.

It's not all doom and gloom for same-sex couples however. Carlos and Fernando, a same-sex flamingo couple of 6 years at the wildlife reserve in Gloucester are the blushing new parents of a chick that was abandoned in its nest. This is not the first orphan the couple of 6 years has raised as it seems the boys have a habit of chasing other birds away from their nests to that they can rear the chicks on their own.

Is being anti-heterosexual just as bad as being anti-homosexual? While the Polish parliament is pushing through legislation to cut down on gay themed chatter in schools and ordering psychological evaluations of the Teletubies, a gay bar in Australia has recently won the right to ban heterosexuals from the establishment citing that straits ruin the ambiance. While civil liberties groups are supporting the decision, I'm sure we haven't heard the last about it as Australia's equal opportunity laws prevent discrimination based on race, religion or sexuality.

Fit to be Clicked

Monsanto, a multi billion dollar company that almost has the market cornered when it comes to genetically engineered seed and crops is worried that you are being deceived. Even recently complaining to the FDA about those pesky organic dairy farmers, weirdo hippies and any other nutbars that insist on labeling their products as free of artificial hormones or genetic modification. It seems that by declaring their products free of such things, the farmers are insinuating that artificial hormones, pesticides and what-have-you are somehow bad for you. Laughable as it sounds, Monsanto may just have a point.

I think the idea of an alarm clock that runs away is cute. And I bet a lot of people that bought these things thought that too but if they are anything like me they could have probably tore it's wheels off after Snooze hit #3.

For those of you that don't have pets, and haven't encountered any hysterical pet owners over the past few months, there was this massive recall on pet foods because it seems that some of the ingredients were poisoned with industrial chemicals. Then to make matters worse, it turns out that the food that pigs are eating was contaminated with yet another poisonous chemical. There are conspiracy theorists out there wondering if it was done for profit as they claim that these chemicals make it look like there is more protein then there is. However, I think the answer is a bit more practical then that. The one thing that all these tainted ingredients have is that they come from China, and not just one factory in China either. While all sold by the same distributor, the tainted fillers and proteins came from several different rending plants. Now back in August of last year the Chinese were all in a panic over Rabies (as they should, it is one of the leading killers in China) and did a massive pet cull destroying about fifty thousand dogs. That was all fine and good, but it didn't solve the Rabies problem. Fast forward to November when the Chinese Government adopts a 'one small dog per family' law. Of course, people get attached to pets and regardless of prosecution may be tempted to not destroy any extra Pooches. Authorities are far to busy persecuting Falun Gong practitioners to go door-to-door looking for pets, so it not a big jump to wonder if poisoning the little darlings may well have been China's Final Solution to it's pet problem.

Fill 'er up...with Bacon! The fate of the poisoned pigs isn't so dark, after all some enterprising companies have figured out how to make gas out of them. Now don't get me wrong, I am all for Bio-fuels and finding creative uses for animal remains but I find the idea of running cars with dead animals just a wee bit disturbing to me for some reason. I guess I am used to my car running over them as opposed to running on them. It just might work tho, all it would take is a bit of genetic tinkering to make some extra fat Diesel Pigs, maybe Monsanto can help them out with that.

Smoking can be hazardous to your health, but it can save your life too.

There has been a lot of chatter lately about how the U.S administration has an agenda that seems to run counter the the best interests of the American way of life. The thing about democracies is that there are many visions on precisely what that way of life should be, so one can't demonize the current U.S. administration for trying to usher the country into the brave new world that they envision. There are however warning flags that such a direction may not be the best way to go. Top 10 signs your country is turning into a fascist state, or How to curtail constitutional freedoms in 10 easy steps. An interesting comparison about the recent political climate in the United States. In other political news, U.S. President George bush voted unanimously to grant himself the constitutional power to grant himself more powers.

On the environmental/entertainment/political front, Singer Sheryl Crowe is encouraging us to cut down on the amount of toilet paper we use. Which made me pause for a moment, as I can't figure out why it's cute when those annoying Charmin bears dance around singing about how great using less toilet paper is, but when a singer just talks about it I crack up laughing. Crowe and Karl Rove mixed things up recently at the White House Correspondents dinner. After reading a few different perspectives on the encounter I'm still not sure if Rove was just tired of global warming and just wanted to talk about golf, or uncomfortable being touched by people that use so little toilet paper.

On the topic of politicians that say dumb things. The European parliament and Poland are at odds over a draft of legislation that would ban the 'promotion' of homosexuality in Polish schools. During the debate Polish MEP Witold Tomczak was recently quoted to say "The solution is to help those who suffer [homosexuals] and to provide them with the cure that they expect us to deliver". Try as I might I can't find any headlines about Gays getting together and lobbying any government for a cure to homosexuality. I guess they suffer in silence. Not to be outdone, an MEP from the League of Polish Families, Maciej Giertych, has published a pamphlet stating that homosexuality is "biologically useless" and "reversible" as long as there is "the desire to become heterosexual and the spiritual motivation". I may cede to his point on the reproductive aspect, however even animals use sex for reasons other then reproduction and most of them are gay too. The expression of homosexuality must have some social and evolutionary benefits (other then concentrating style, taste and flair all in one friendly demographic), otherwise natural selection would have certainly culled it out fairly quickly.

Of course, it would unfair to single out Poland for enacting senseless laws when it comes to sex, check out this list of bizarre sex laws from around the world. Keeping with the theme, it seems that a direct descendant of the prophet Muhammad has been doing gay porn on Xtube. [This story mentioned with no insult to the respected teachings of Islam, although he does seem to violate bizarre sex laws 1 and 2]. It seems there is an arrest warrant out for Richard Gere and Shilpa Shetti for 'transgressing all limits of vulgarity' at a recent appearance. It sounds really hot, until you realize that apparently Indians are very good at hysterically overreacting.

Runaway Brides! A Nigerian woman and her 4 lesbian brides go underground after their wedding to avoid death by stoning or something worse. Why do I see either OutTV or the Playboy channel picking up the rights on this story...

The makers of that slippery adult lubricant Astroglide made a huge gaff earlier this week when they accidentally posted the names AND addresses of 250 thousand people that had requested free samples of their product...ONLINE! Personally I've never been a fan, I find it breaks down in the high friction situations I often find myself in.

Schadenfreude (an overly long German word that can be summed up as simply being spiteful), is not a very evolved thing and I do so try to repress the urge to cackle with glee whenever a celebrities antics catch up with them. Snoop Doggs bad boy image has gotten him banned from yet another country. Officials in Australia cancelled his travel visa after he failed a character test when pleading no contest to a slew of weapons and drug charges in the US. "He doesn't seem the sort of bloke we want in this country," Immigration Minister Kevin Andrews was quoted to say. Newsflash Snoop, the 'street cred' that made your career can also destroy it. In other celebrity news, English actor Hugh Grant has been arrested for assaulting a photographer...with beans!

Life imitates the movies, it turns out that Kryptonite is real. Although its not really Kryptonite and they are calling it Jadarite and it fluoresces Pink not green, so I can't see what all the fuss is about but it does provide a handy lead into BBC's Site about the science behind a few of our favorite superheroes.

Fit to be Clicked

Celebrity reality check! I normally let the celebs do their own publicity, but I'll make an exception for Snoop. That's right, that hip hop/rapper/entertainment train wreck Snoop Dog was recently denied a Visa into the UK. Snoops rep is reportedly "mystified" by the news. Say wha? The man was arrested for violent disorder at Heathrow Airport and is facing several weapon and drug charges in the U.S. These people really are living in an alternate reality if they think that little things like that won't stop you dead in your tracks at the border. Newsflash, Snoop. Celebrity entitlement only gets one so far.

On the topic of celebrities, most of us are far to young to remember Frankie Howerd. We was an incredibly popular English comic that died back in '92. Dennis Heymer, his lover, partner and manager, took some time to talk to the BBC about their secret life together in an age when homosexuality was taboo. While neither were activist at all and Howerd even loathed himself for it, I must say that I am glad that we have come far enough so that our loves needn't be so bittersweet.

I have noticed this pattern of whenever the powers that be have something they would like to distract us from, such as say, the sudden mobilization of U.S. military resources in the Persian gulf, the news feeds are inundated with inane animal stories. Take for instance PETA's sudden outrage at Kansas State students for throwing Chickens onto the court when playing against Kansas U. Sure it's been going on for years, but it's very convenient that just now PETA is rising to the defence of what they describe as "very intelligent and inquisitive animals". Are they talking about the Basketball players or the chickens?

Of course, the nature and scale of the intelligence of animals has been a hotly debated subject for years. PBS's Nature put together a fascinating mini series on the topic that I highly recommend. Eager to test these theories, our friends at The Onion found that Dolphins may not be as smart as we give them credit for.

Things just get stranger from here. Talk about pocket lizards, this lady was positively infested with crocodiles when she was stopped at the border. And on the other side of the world, Panda sperm flies first class. What I want to know is how did they get this cryo-canister on the plane when I can't even fly with Gatorade?

Flee for your lives, it's Toadzilla!

Scientists sure do have some strange fetishes! Chinese researchers have come up with a creative solution for disposing of and abundance Panda poop, they want to make paper with it. Talk about recycling! On the other side of the world, another team of researchers is very excited about what mites in ancient Llama poo can tell them about pre-incan populations in South America.

Speaking of fetishes, what would you do with 1500 undergarments?

You thought your pet was talented? Not yet an Olympic sport, it's Goldfish synchronized swimming.

Citizens in Portugal have penned a letter the Pope asking that the Vatican slow down a priest speeding in his pimped Fiesta. That's right, a Ford Fiesta. Who the heck tricks out a Fiesta?

There are some very nifty pics in this homage to interesting trees from around the world. My favorite is the stump left when a scientist inadvertently cut down the oldest tree in the world.

Oh this is horrible. On the topic of undignified deaths, 3 people are confirmed dead after a sewage tsunami hit a neighborhood in Gaza. What a way to go.

Sci/Tech has had some interesting headlines over the past bit, Scientists have retrieved about 20 years worth of mission data from Pioneer 11 from the depths of JPLs Archives. They are hoping this will allow them to get a better grasp on the Pioneer Anomaly,(the spacecraft aren't nearly as far away as they should be), and perhaps explain it away for good.

Leave it to the Spaniards to come up with Jurassic porn.

Forget hydrogen! The future of fuel cells is looking sweet.

Not content with merely being Persons of the Year, Youtube has wrapped up its first annual YouAwards. Check out the winners and losers on...well Youtube of course.

Unfortunately it wasn't mine, but another pointless blog full of poorly written, incoherent commentary managed to make it to the front page of Digg. So what is the secret to obtaining such a vaunted position? You pay for it of course! This was an experiment by wired Magazine, possibly to generate bad press about Digg and this had the tech commentators salivating over the prospect of a lawsuit. This does make a point that I've suspected for quite some time, user-ranking systems are more often then not misleading. There is an easier and free way to do it though, just post a story and then share the vote button with everyone on your social networking site of choice and the votes come rolling in. After all, people will click anything for friend.

Is art imitating life again? The Iconic Captain America was felled by a snipers bullet in the latest edition of his self titled comic book. Now granted, a great majority of people don't stay dead for long in the Marvel universe, but after a 66 year career of defending the planet from Hitler to villains in alternate realities and everything in between, you'd think they'd have the decency to give Steve Rogers a slightly more heroic death. Is someone at Marvel making a point? Perhaps that after decades as an invulnerable superpower now with a constitution in tatters, the formidable U.S. economic and social machines have been deflated by the smallest of foes. Nah, that couldn't be it.

On a slightly more upbeat note, back in 1982 the iconic blond of the 80's generation broke onto the scene and immediately became the object of desire for boys, girls, nerds and Jocks alike. She was sweet and stylish, with bows in her hair and eyelashes that went on forever. Her ruby lips devoured everything in her path, she was Ms. Pacman! And she's celebrating her 25th Birthday this week by expanding her brand to Itunes.

Snakes on a plane! Well, they almost got on the plane.

First there were knife wielding femme fatalles and then came the homoerotic voyeurism and now gang domination by the pool, is it just me or has Dolce and Gabbana completely overshot risque with it's new ads? After labeling Spain (and anyone else that has found offence in their recent advertising), as behind the times and prudish, Dolce and Gabbana has bowed to pressure and pulled the latest of it controversial ads. While D&G defends it's ads as 'a stylized depiction of fantasy', did no one in their marketing department stop and seriously consider that there are some fantasies that are best left in our heads?

In an ironic turn of events, a troop of Boy scouts in Utah burnt down a forest. While Smokey the bear could not be reached for comment, in a court settlement the Utah chapter has agreed to pay 330 Grand to cover the cost of battling the blaze and plant 9000 trees. I don't think selling apples is going to cover that, but auctioning off a few scouts to foreign investors might cover the tab.

We Canadians have always been on the forefront of finding novel solutions to global problems. Recently Paul Hellyer, one of our former defence ministers from back in Pearson era (1963), has proposed using alien technology to solve the planets woes.

Some people just have way to much time on their hands.

The things people will do with X-ray machines! Some of the images are NSFW so be warned. I know what you're thinking, how can an X-ray be unsuitable for work? Look on dear readers and be be prepared for a few WTF moments. What I can't figure out is is it art, porn or diagnostic imaging?

On the topic of kinky, does it get weirder then this? In a little town in Bethlehem the principal is a perv. Police entered the principals office to arrest him for selling Crystal Meth only to find him naked and watching gay porn surrounded by an impressive array of sex toys.

Its time for another top ten list! This time its the top modern delusions that help us get through our empty meaningless lives.

It appears that Boston city officials haven't learned much from the Hunger Force debacle as police shut down a few blocks of the city to blow up one of their own monitoring boxes and just recently a suspicious looking pedestrian.

Bits and Bites

Can you believe that I actually had to work while I was at work this week? Unheard of! Which makes this the perfect time to clear out my, 'Mixed Bag O' Links' that I just couldn't seem to weave into my normal ranting monologues.

Kansas just can seem to make up it's mind about what to teach kids about the origin of life and has reacted to international ridicule by once again rewriting the guidelines of it's science curriculum to strike out the recently added references to the theory of intelligent design. Of course, just up and outlawing the practice of evolution would solve the problem nicely. My views on the subject are complex to say the least, however considering how many genes much of life on earth share, if god did do it he was very very lazy.

Former NBA all star Tim Hardaway says he hates gay people. So he hates gays, there are people that don't like him for things he can't change too. Granted the majority of them aren't gay, most gay people loooooove black men, or at the very least are extremely curious. What I find interesting is that he didn't apologize for being homophobic but just regretted expressing it so publicly. Any bets on when this celeb is announcing a stint in Rehab?

Who'd a thunk it! It turns out girls really are gross.

Serial vs. Parallel Dating. Rewire your relationships today!

I just love comics that deal with 'issues'. It's like Reefer Madness only with pictures.

Experts have come out saying that the trend of sexualizing women in the media is harming young girls. Come on, we live in the age where they are giving Viagra to babies, what harm could a little makeup do?

Take one tour bus full of vacationing seniors, add 3 muggers and what do you get? Seniors gone wild!

Poverty, genocides and starvation aside there's been a lot of weird shit going down in Africa lately. For instance...

Throw away those nasty anti-virals. Green tea and Bananas are all it takes to slay HIV, at least according to Gambia's president.

WTF?! Whoever thought cargo cults would have turned out to be so popular? The gods must still be crazy.

Popo is in the news again! That wacky lascivious bat demon, Popo Bawa, just can't keep it in his pants. A creature with a supernatural sex drive and a monster member that sneaks into peoples rooms and sodomizes them for hours. In my neighborhood that's considered a tourist attraction not a curse. I wonder if he looks like any of these newly classified batty beasts.

Flooding in Mozambique, civil war in Darfur, islamist unrest in Mogadishu, drought in Ethiopia. Pick an African country (any one will do), and chances are good 15,000 brown people have died there recently.

On the international scene, the deadline set by the UN for Iran to stop enriching uranium has come and past and Iran shows no signs of slowing down. The US has responded to Iran's request for unconditional and most likely very frank talks, by moving a great deal of military might into the region and expressing a fond desire to bomb them. Of course they are still accusing the Iranians of destabilizing Iraq by quoting ambiguous intelligence from anonymous sources which may be ever so slightly exaggerated. Hmm...sound familiar? Take a look at what other people have to say on the topic at this BBC forum.

Once again life imitates art (or at least sarcasm), as someone must have read my previous suggestion on how the Palestinian Authority can stabilize its economy. Because now they really are opening call centres! Any bets on how long it takes the Israelis to bomb these too?

In a bizarre attempt to unify the Anglican communion, the house of bishops has decided to fracture it even further. It seems sort of odd until you check this handy Faith vs. Science flow chart and then you'd be surprised at how much sense it makes.

There are a few tricks that will come in handy if you want to survive the inevitable rise of the machines.

Extreme car security! Fun with Tesla coils or fun with Flame throwers. Pick your package because I'm sure that these won't be standard features any time soon.