Welcome to Alternate Reality, or more simply 'Life As I See It'. A recollection of a unique view of this order of things.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Fit to be Clicked

The Autobots and Decepticons have had nifty restyling in the new Transformers movie due for release this July. For those that have missed them, you can take a peak at the movie trailers and photos here. In related news an unknown craft that looks suspiciously like the old Teletran-1 has been spotted in some mountains somewhere, why it has klingon graffiti on it is anyones guess.

On the topic of photoshop jobs, I am trying to decide if Men's Fitness digitally pumped him up or used the old squeeze the biceps trick for Andy Roddick's cover shot for the magazine.

Has reality TV become too visceral? A terminally ill woman in Holland is primed to give away her kidneys in a TV special put on Endemol, the same company that owns the Big Brother franchise. During the 80 minute episode, 'The Big Donor' Lisa will choose which of three lucky contestants will receive her kidneys with the help of text messages send in from viewers.

Talk about looking for the silver lining, researchers have discovered that there is apparently an upside to Herpes. Too bad it might cause Alzheimer's too.

Then again, scientists have been very hard at work contradicting themselves. One group of Scientists recently showed that multi-vitamins may increase ones risk of Colon Cancer, while another team almost simultaneously announced that those fickle vitamins may help you live longer once you have it.

The legal victory of rational over superstition in Philadelphia was short lived. Yes, after a week long crackdown on fortune tellers, the psychics are back to work.

Have your neighbors have jumped on the global warming band wagon? Trading in the old SUV for a hybrid, buying local produce and racking up carbon credits as if they are some kind of crusade to save the planet? Strike back with Carboncreditkillers.com!

I'm not sure what would be worse, trying to explain to you family how you were charged with a DUI in a wheelchair, or explaining to your neighbors that you got a great price for their dachshund at your yard sale.

Scientists ranging from engineers to Neurologists have but their collect brain power together give robots a bit of finesse by building a better robotic brain, or a cerebellum at least (the part of our brain that governs fine motor skills). while this brings us ever closer to that inevitable robot uprising, I think they will need to work on their conversation skills a bit more before we need to worry to much.

It pulses, it throbs, it jiggles around, all in time with your music. Strong-arming for Apple not withstanding, I'm sure this new Igasm Gizmo has a certain niche market writhing in anticipation.

A former employee for IBM is suing the company for wrongful dismissal after he was fired for trolling sex chat rooms on the job. According too the suit, he feels that instead of being fired and despite being warned about the behaviour previously, he should have been offered sympathy and support since it seems hes rather addicted to them.

It seems that you just can't marry your cousin anymore. A Pakistani court has jailed couple of newly weds for an un-Islamic marriage after it was discovered that the husband was really a woman...or at least still to much of a woman despite being a transsexual. While the brides father is pressing for annulment based on the grounds that woman can't marry women under sharia law, the couple insist that he just wants to marry her off to cover an uncles gambling debts.

It's not all doom and gloom for same-sex couples however. Carlos and Fernando, a same-sex flamingo couple of 6 years at the wildlife reserve in Gloucester are the blushing new parents of a chick that was abandoned in its nest. This is not the first orphan the couple of 6 years has raised as it seems the boys have a habit of chasing other birds away from their nests to that they can rear the chicks on their own.

Is being anti-heterosexual just as bad as being anti-homosexual? While the Polish parliament is pushing through legislation to cut down on gay themed chatter in schools and ordering psychological evaluations of the Teletubies, a gay bar in Australia has recently won the right to ban heterosexuals from the establishment citing that straits ruin the ambiance. While civil liberties groups are supporting the decision, I'm sure we haven't heard the last about it as Australia's equal opportunity laws prevent discrimination based on race, religion or sexuality.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The Morning Wood: Robbi Ginepri

Robby Ginepri, born October 7, 1982 in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, is an American tennis player who turned professional in 2001.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Fit to be Clicked

Some theorize that the universe never puts more on your plate then you can handle. If that is the case then I wonder where it got so much confidence in me. My apologies for the lag since my last update. Dealing with moving, unpacking and the annual parental visit ate up the early part of this month quite nicely. Today's post is a total a grab bag of links that I've been saving up over the past few weeks.

The search for Scotty! A beloved crew mate dies and they blast his remains into space then the pod crash lands on a remote mountainside of a primitive planet...Why does this plot seem so familiar? Life imitating Star trek has been a popular theme lately. Researchers are hard at work developing magnetic shields to protect intrepid explorers from the ravages of radiation while they are away from earth.

Psychics are under siege in Philly! City Inspectors have shut down dozens of fortune tellers citing an obscure decades old law against prognosticating for profit. Despite their extra sensory powers and the law being on the books for years, the psychics say they never saw it coming.

Speaking of questionable judgements, a group of teachers in Tennessee staged a mock assault on a bunch of 6th graders. During the last night of the trip, staff members convinced the 69 students that there was a gunman on the loose and had them hide under tables while a mock maniac rattled at the door. Now I'm all for a bit of primal scaring every now and then, but maybe stick to fire drills guys.

The Summer Meter is a nifty site...if you have ADD or something. Sure, an online countdown to summer is a fun thing but after watching it run for a few seconds I start to panic watching the numbers fly by.

Updating a story I commented on a few posts back. That bleating bride from Sudan, Rose the goat, has passed away. For those of you unfamiliar with the story, Rose was forced into a marriage with a man who was caught using her in a... manly fashion. Alas, she went the way most media darlings have of late, choking on a plastic bag. She is survived by 1 kid, hopefully from a previous marriage.

Despite PETA's concerns about how animal brides are treated in some countries, the Ms Camel Pageant in Saudi Arabia went on as planned with dozens of desert beauties strutting their humps and lady lumps vieing for cash prizes, cars and an exclusive mating contract,(with another camel of course, this isn't Sudan after all)

Need a good reason to protect biodiversity? Brazilian Sex Spiders. After noticing that one of the side effects of a bite from the spider just happens to be ragging preapism that lasts for hours, scientists have isolated the toxin responsible and hope to use it to boost current fertility treatments. Go Spiders!

Sure, we've all had those stick-it-on-the-fridge-and-call-it-cute moments, but have you ever wondered what Kids are really trying to draw? This site has some kids drawings touched up by a professional artist and those doodles don't seem nearly as cute now...

Talk about jumping on the bandwagon. Now not only can you get your daily dose of carbonated water, Aspartame, Phosphoric Acid, Potassium Benzoate and Caffeine from a Diet Pepsi, the nice folks over at Pepsico are throwing in 10 to 15 percent of the daily requirement of niacin, zinc, magnesium and vitamins B6 and B12 to help you get through the day. Cola as a source of essential nutrients, what is the world coming to? Next they'll be selling us cigarettes with Vitamin D and Echinacia.

On the topic of smokes, is it just me or is the concept of fire resistant cigarettes as silly as it sounds?

Staying with the theme of things that cause cancer, another great hobby of mine has just been ruined. Researchers have found that Oral Sex (of all things), may raise your risk of cancer. Of course, that threat has never stopped my penchant for sucking on cigarettes, it just seems that everything I put in my mouth is bad for me these days.

Now I've been known to water the garden every now and then, but these urinals are taking that metaphor to new extremes.

Canadian spy coins, what a sensational concept! We never hear much about what the folks over in CSIS get up to so I was very excited over reports that US defence contractors were picking up bugs when they came north of the border. Clandestine nanoscale transmitters, it shows my tax dollars at work. The truth is much more laughable, the so called spy coins turned out to be the commemorative poppy quarter.

German soccer players Michael Ballack and Oliver Kahn received a nice payout in an bit of an interesting branding battle. The stars sued the firm Beate Uhse because it sold special World Cup vibrators called "Michael B" and "Olli K" last year without their permission. While the stars were awarded a modest amount, considering the popularity of footballers these days I would have sued for a cut of the sales.