Alternate Reality

Welcome to Alternate Reality, or more simply 'Life As I See It'. A recollection of a unique view of this order of things.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Fit to be Clicked

Making the Middle east safer with more guns! American foreign policy has just stepped into the twilight Zone. In a further attempt to stabilize the middle east and counter the perceived threat of Iran's Nuclear program the US will be doling out about $20 Billion in advanced weaponry, missile guidance systems, upgraded fighter jets and naval ships to Saudi Arabia and other 'moderate' Arab states and they were even nice enough to throw in an extra $30 Billion dollars Israels way to stop them from completely blowing a gasket. The old adage that an armed society is a polite society has never really applied to that particular corner of the world, so I'm not too sure that dropping $50 billion in military hardware into the region is the best idea. Once one considers that the majority of the Jihadist recruits come from these 'moderate' countries, with Saudi Arabia topping the list the wisdom of this deal becomes a bit suspect. Even some of the American people are having problems believing it.

While we are on the topic of the Middle east. A few months into the famed troop surge that was to bring peace and tranquility to the shattered Iraq,( or Baghdad at the very least) how are things going? Sean Smith, a filmmaker and Photographer, spent two months embedded with US troops in Baghdad and Anbar province. His video and photo documentary is harrowing. If you don't feel like being harrowed, the BBC has these friendly and colorful charts.
In other news, Rodents are Spying on Iran.

Today's food Recall. Chili that is literally Bursting with Botulism!

Stepping back from the humanity of it all now, Tori Spelling is a Reverend. A what!? You read it right, a Woman of the Cloth, is nothing is sacred anymore? After securing her credentials on the Internet, she then officiated a same sex wedding for a couple at her bed and breakfast. The whole sweet ceremony will be broadcast as part of her reality show on the Oxygen Network. While I'm thrilled for the happy couple, I think it cheapens the sacrament with a superficiality that only gays and Las Vegas Elvis wedding chapels could conceive of.

Maybe nothing is sacred anymore, Homer Simpson has upset Pagans for taunting their aroused fertility giant with a donut..or cock ring, it's hard to tell from the picture.

Giant erections, massive cock rings, you just know that was a segue into today's first list...Top ten weirdest Japanese condoms. Such and odd odd people they must be.

On the topic of superficial, people are getting down on Adam Sandlers new film, 'Chuck and Larry'. It seems people think that it is anti-gay because of the way it presents negative gay stereotypes. Now I've never been an Adam Sandler fan but even I have to say, 'Oh please, you ain't seen nothing girlfriend', to that fluff. Today's next list is Top 10 Anti-gay Gay films. Most of which will make you want to thank your parents for being thoughtful enough to conceive you after the Stonewall Riots.

On the theme of things that are both bad and good for you, new research shows that Grapefruit may cause breast cancer, but once you have helps cure it!

It's small, but its a real transforming robot.

Unfortunately placed advertising! One would think that there would be some sort of oversight to ensure that advertising gaffs like these didn't happen, but I'm glad there isn't.

If he only had a brain... How much of brain does one really need? The wonders of the human condition never cease to amaze me. Here are 17 more things you may not know about your brain.

A car you could kill for! At least that is how Toyota-Scion is marketing it's not-so-family-car to young hipster deviant 20 somethings with a taste for murder. Sure, I'm old enough now to have been completely desensitized to things like sex, violence and mature themes in advertising, but I think Toyota might be a little out of touch with the 18-35 male demographic they are targeting with this Ad game where your 'little deviant' gets to rend 'Sheeple' to bits and use the resulting body parts to customize himself before trotting off to the scion factory which uses the blood of the aforementioned Sheeple to The Scions are being described by Toyota's marketers as "aggressive Looking" and "a little bad ass", but even compared to Toyota's normal line up the cars aren't anything new.

I don't know too much about art, but this is one freakin' huge rubber ducky.

After 3 years on Mars the rovers are getting bored. While a massive dust storm that has engulfed nearly the entire planet may spell doom for those plucky Mars rovers Spirit and Opportunity, they haven't given up yet. But with their ability to generate power severely compromised their time may be drawing to an end. In honor of the little robots, today last list is the Top 10 discoveries of the Mars Rovers. In related Mars news, a rover launched to the red planet by Coca-cola Corp has just confirmed that the now arid surface of Mars was once partially drenched in crystal clear refreshing Dasani.

Bible spoiler!

In other news, researchers have shown that multiple stab wounds may drastically reduce life expectancy.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Fit to be Clicked

Life imitates Saw. So you deliver a pizza and then wake up with a bomb around your neck and a cryptic note telling you to rob a bank... What would you do? Well this poor guy robbed the bank and then his head exploded. The seriously disturbed woman charged with his murder is currently in jail serving time for killing her ex-boyfriend and stuffing him in a freezer for a wee bit. That aside, her attorney said prosecutors will have a difficult time proving her guilt as her two alleged co-conspirators are dead now too...

Our corner of the cosmos is looking at other corners of the cosmos, and you can help! The folks from the Galaxy Zoo Project are asking people to participate in a 'Hot-or-Not' vote of galactic proportions. They need your help to sort through pictures of a million or so galaxies to figure out what they are all about. Not only do you get to look at parts of the Universe that literally no-one has ever seen before, but you get to use time that you would otherwise waste working all in the name of scientific advancement.

Here's a new strategy in the war on terror. British release man eating badgers in Basra.

U.S. Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said in Chicago on Tuesday that the nation faces a heightened chance of an attack this summer. One would think that the Secretary of Homeland security would have some hard intelligence to back such a hysteria provoking proclamation, right? No actually. While there is no specific threat, he does have a really good hunch about it. Where does Bush find these people?

You ever noticed that whenever Bush has a problem with Congress, the administration whips up a bit of hysteria with some well timed leaks? Senior U.S. intelligence officials tell ABC News new intelligence suggests a small al Qaeda cell is on its way to the United States, or may already be here. The White House has convened an urgent multi-agency meeting for Thursday afternoon to deal with the new threat. Stepping back from the issue that this is political bullshit …you mean to tell me that Al Qaeda may already be here or are on the first flight to Boston and they are going to wait a couple of days to get around to discussing it? I guess they need time to get everyone’s lunch orders straight.

If there is one word that is so over-used these days it's 'radicalized'. Have you noticed you can 'Radicalize' just about anything and anyone these days? The ERA weren't terrorists, they were radicalised Protestants. Gay Anglican ministers? No such thing, just some Episcopalians radicalized by the homosexual agenda. Today's youth aren't narcissists or criminals, they have been radicalized by hip-hop music and Paris Hilton. And now after the London not-quite-quite bombings, we have Radicalized professionals.

But how much of a risk do they really pose? Bilal Abdullah, the 'Radicalized' doctor that built two car bombs that did not work, then proceeded to try drive a third one, (which also failed to detonate) through a reinforced cement barricade at a Scottish airport, and then even unsuccessfully tried to commit suicide by lighting himself on fire may not be the best example of a radicalized professional, but so far he's the only example we have. Was he really Radicalized or did he just have issues? Considering the sheer incompetence of the attempt, I'm leaning towards issues. After all, if Al Qaeda wanted to strike fear into Britons they have their martyrs and bombs and an array blunt instruments to do that. A doctors talents however might better lend themselves to say... more career appropriate terror. Fortunately Bilal was a dud, and radicalized professionals seem few and far between.

Considering the number of tainted food scandals in the last while, I'm far more concerned about radicalized fast food workers weaponizing hamburgers.

Ten politically incorrect truths about human nature. Why most suicide bombers are Muslim, sexual harassment isn't sexist, and why blonds really do have more fun. It's an interesting read, but it seems that human nature has a lot to do with sex.

On a completely unrelated note, here's a cool tip for making cold coffee taste good.

Talk about sending a message, a Chinese court has sentenced Chinas food safety minister to death for taking bribes and generally not looking out for the welfare of the common man. China however still blames its export woes on US importers, as they are the ones who aren't particularly looking out for the common man either. That being said, from Kitty Soo Guy to cardboard dumplings, Chinas food problems aren't new and their problems show far more on the inside then out.

Think it's uncool to be reading children's books at work? Here are some novel book covers so no one will ever know you're a closet harry Potter freak. Don't send these to the kiddies tho, a few are a wee bit over the top.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Fit to be Clicked

Africa is a continent of despair and desperation. Here, eight year-olds toting AK-47s massacre whole villages and eccentric dictators feast on the organs of the opposition, believing it'll boost their mojo. Tsetse flies nibble on the eyelids of starving children who sport distended bellies like it's their birthright, not to mention the fact that by the time you finish reading this article, another six Africans will die from malaria, five from AIDS, and seventeen from poverty and hunger. Also, the wildlife is beautiful and the people like to dance and sing.

That's Africa, and apparently it's in desperate need of our help. Luckily, a few enlightened megastars from America and Europe have come to save it. But then again, from BandAid to Live8, what has 20 years of Aid actually accomplished for African countries other then bloat their bureaucracies? And why ever would some of these obviously needy people want nothing more then for Bono to just but out?

Talk about unclear on the concept. During a recent launch of Apples Iphone, a daring man steals...a reporters microphone. With all the buzz that the Iphone has received over that past while, it's a shame that these other innovative Apple products have been pushed to the curb.

The foundations of Hip Hop have been shaken to the core with the revelation that Hip Hop artists lip sync too! At a recent awards show on BET 50 Cent's voice tack cuts out and well...he just wanders around the stage aimlessly. I know it's crazy but I can't figure out why he didn't just finish singing the damn song. He does know the words to his own song right?

Whatever to do on a rainy day, why not conduct physics experiments in the kitchen? All you need is a microwave and way to much free time on your hands and you to can calculate the speed of light or create plasma with a simple wooden match and juice cup, or if you just happen to have some potassium chloride kicking around you can make gummi bears screeeeeeeeeam.

It's not like I'm pessimistic, but I do have the mug. More great demotivators from Despair Inc.

On an existential note, Are the laws of physics fine-tuned to support life? For instance, if gravity were just slightly stronger, the universe would have collapsed long before life evolved. But if gravity were a tiny bit weaker, no galaxies or stars could have formed. If the strong nuclear force had been slightly different, red giant stars would never produce the fusion needed to form heavier atoms like carbon, and the universe would be a vast, lifeless desert. Are these just happy coincidences? Princeton physicist Freeman Dyson has suggested that the universe, in some sense, "knew we were coming."

It seems Disney was right. It is a small world, after all.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Fit to be Clicked

Not to understate the fact or anything, but the universe is vast. I stumbled over Nikon's Universescale while surfing around the other day. It sets up a good comparison, but for a truly far out experience, I like Space.coms way better.

On the subject of how silly website names have gotten, its the Web 2.0 site or Star Wars character quiz, can you figure them out?

On the medical front, A longstanding theory of how HIV slowly depletes the body's capacity to fight infection has been found to be mathematically unsustainable and if it were the actual case those suffering from the disease would die much sooner then they do. And in another challenge to their gospel about the disease, a new study slamming the link between male circumcision and reduced HIV transmission in heterosexual Africans is itself being slammed by HIV scientists. So much slamming for so little foreskin. Regardless of how effective circumcision may be in reducing the spread of HIV, strapping on a condom works even better, and you don't loose anything. As people are just figuring out that circumcision actually cuts off the best parts, I say use a condom and keep your willy's rides wild.

Talk about busting a nut! Hell has no wrath like that of a woman scorned and this freak job just had to go and prove it.

It seems Trojan thinks men are pigs, at least according to their Evolve ad campaign that features hogs magically transforming into hunkalicious studs with the mere purchase of one of their magical condoms. I was going to go off on a rant about it until I stumbled upon these Brazilian condom ads that just try to make women feel that way.

Talk about getting a boost! A man is suing the makers of Boost (a vitamin packed meal replacement drink), alleging that the drink gave him an erection so severe he needed to be hospitalized. Wow, and to think you can pick the stuff up at the grocery store for a fraction of the price of Viagra.

On the topic of partying, I sure wish I was there when these firefighters took on this blaze in which 2 tons of pot went up in smoke. To get an idea about what condition these boys must have been in, This video shows it all.

Ultimate fashion faux pas? Cameron Diaz visits Peru covered in communist slogans.

The concept of Gaydar is nothing new gays and straits alike have been seeming gay for thousands of years. If sexual orientation is biological, are the traits that make people seem gay innate, too? A small constellation of researchers is specifically analyzing the traits and characteristics that, though more pronounced in some than in others, not only make us gay but also make us appear gay. There is a bit to digest in this study, but I think it will help out the next time my innate gayness is challenged.

Tomb chess. Raise your undead army and take control of the graveyard.

On the topic of the dead, the archaeological find of the century, actually happened 100 years ago. The Mummy of Hatshetpsut, possibly the first documented Transvestite and the most powerful ruler of Egypt was actually discovered by Howard Carter in 1903, but left behind in the same tomb where he removed the mummy of her nurse. Archaeologists hope the mummy, which has lain unrecognised for decades, will yield clues about the mystery of her death and subsequent disappearance.

This is corn, this is corn on cocaine.

Some people are saying that the future just isn't what it is cracked up to be and this may be true. Just think about all the technology that ends up being just as annoying as useful. To start the pondering here are 7 annoying things about the future.

And you thought your job was bad?

The things kids are watching these days. Sure, there is the gratuitous violence in all those anime shows we port over from Asia, but over in Gaza...A Mickey Mouse lookalike who preached Islamic domination on a Hamas-affiliated children's television program was Martyred by Israeli soldiers in the shows final episode Friday. Talk about putting a spin on the civics lesson. And people wonder why there isn't a Gaza Disney...

Friday, June 22, 2007

Fit to be Clicked

Ah, the Pyramids of Egypt, is there any other grand construction or great architecture that has survived the the march of civilization, staying the river of time and quite frankly could be called a true wonder of the world? Egypt says no! Egyptian antiquities officials are up in arms over a new move to vote in a new set of World Wonders, to the point of having the iconic tombs removed from the voting list over at I can see their point, as the Pyramids are the last surviving Wonder from the original list, that would be like putting John Lennon on American Idol. Voting for the new wonders has been fast and furious over at the New 7 Wonders Website. Surf on over and take a look, It's a vote so you can put in your thoughts on what the new wonders will be.

This site takes the concept of shadow puppets to a whole new level.

The Vatican has recently issued a Ten Commandments for Drivers. No word yet on if they are going to slip that into Exodus, Leviticus or just add a new book to the new testament were St frances, (the patron St of many types of drivers) visits the Ford factory and returns with the new laws etched into hub caps.

Ever wondered what your car would look like in a crash? Or what would happen to you if it ever did? Wonder no more, our friends over at consumer reports have posted some crash test videos of the top brands. Not for the faint of heart, or Kia drivers either for that matter.

On the topic of Space, Astronomers have recently determined the mass of our solar systems latest Planet X, Eris and found that it is actually bigger then Pluto, striking yet another blow to the now non-planet's ego. And since we are taking about planets, does anyone remember Gliese 581c? That rocky world 20 light years away that scientists determined was in its Systems 'sweet spot' and had everybody speculating about it harboring water, maybe even life or at the very least something that could pass for life. Well, they take it all back, new measurements seem to point to it being a baking hell-world, however it's close neighbour 581d may be much more welcoming. For a look at some more out of this world wolds, surf on over to's list of Top 10 Exo-planets.

Cucumber Pepsi? Whatever will those wacky Japanese come up with next.

The career of Russia's newest Robo-cop ends in a fizzle and pop. Yes, I meant that to rhyme. Really more of a robo-egg with camera's, but now that we have robots working for us, cleaning for us and now policing us, it's only a matter of time before they figure out we're freeloading.

Hindu's in India are very concerned about the Ganges River. It seems that the holy waterway is under the dire threat of drying up as a result of global warming. It struck me as odd that people who have corrupted the revered river beyond the point of any salvation or restoration are scrambling now that climate change will finish off the tortured river once and for all. The religious point of view; OK it's dirty and near incapable a supporting even plant life, so long as there is water it's still holy. Practical point of view; Oh Dear now what will the poor people drink? Humanitarian point of view;Thank god it's drying up so the poor people will stop drinking it. It seems the Ganges isn't the only casualty however. Apparently Climate change is partly to blame for the ethnic conflict in Sudan’s Darfur region as well.

You know your farm might be too close to the nuclear power station when your pigs start looking like this. However you know it's time to get out of dodge when your dog has kittens.

In response to criticisms that his recent books were too 'heavy' Stephen Hawkin is taking explaining physics theories to a whole new level in his latest offering 'George's secret key to the universe' known by it's working title 'Theoretical physics for dummies'. Complete with illustrations, Dr Hawkin hopes to make this complex material readily accessible to a simpler audience.

Ah, the trouserless judge story just gets ever more laughable. For those not in the know a Washington judge is suing his dry cleaners for $67 million for loosing his pants. It seems his take is that by driving the oriental couple into poverty via court costs, he is standing up for truth justice and the American way. Well, that's not so untrue; litigation is the American way. While arguing the case for his beloved lost pants, he choked up and fled the courtroom in tears...okaaaay.

On the topic of questionable judgements, I guess these parents in India figured that you're never to young to take up the family business. So they let their 15 year old son perform a C-section.

New vibrating condoms are shaking things up over India, where people aren't quite sure if it is a prophylactic or a sex toy. I say, why see things so black and white, it's a about time that someone came up with sexual aids that are both fun and functional.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

The Morning Wood: Jeremy Bloom

Jeremy Bloom was born 2 April 1982, in Fort Collins Colorado USA. An Olympic skier at age 19, he started skiing when he was three. He was a competitive alpine racer before turning to moguls. He made it to the 2002 Olympics.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Fit to be Clicked

No longer content with just sewing together Frankensteinian mash-ups of what nature has taken billions of years to perfect, some scientists are looking to create life from scratch, but are we ready to play god yet? If we don't who will? Is creating artificial biology really the same thing as creating life? Either way is it sacred or blasphemous. While the science itself is fascinating and the applications of custom-made microbes too numerous to count, science has accelerated to the point where the philosophers just can't keep up which poses interesting dilemmas in and of itself.

The Secret is a sham, Embrace the power of Negative thinking! The dark side has never been so pragmatic.

In a bold move to cut crime in the GBL demographic, California has started allowing over night conjugal visits for registered domestic partners. Stating that as nothing ruins a good jail fantasy like the boyfriend kicking around, Gays now have one less reason to commit crimes. Apparently Approving of this assault on this institution of Gay culture the civil liberties union has applauded the changes. On a similar vein,contrary to popular belief the U.S. military loves gays. They like them so much they even looked into creating more of them with some very unconventional weapons.

Are fast food chains deliberately misrepresenting their product or do underpaid immigrants and students just not take pride in crafting a burger that lasts forever anymore?

Maybe it is the fact that they are predators the size of a bus, but jumping sharks are just plain freaky. On a side note, researchers have discovered that these primitive predators use a very sophisticated full body nose to smell in 3D.

Is the pharmaceutical industry immoral, dishonest, corrupt or just misunderstood? With Glaxo having been sued for misrepresenting Paxil, and Merk for down playing the lethal side effects of Vioxx and now with the whole country of Nigeria suing Pfizer for killing off and a few hundred kids ( OK, to be fair some escaped with only "mild" physical deformities), in allegedly improper drug trials for an up and coming meningitis vaccine, one has to ask when is just a few flipper babies too many flipper babies?

Do diet pills cause suicidal thoughts? Possibly. However researchers may have overlooked the slim possibility that many might find having a fat distorted body quite depressing too. However, the FDA assures fat people that while North America's obesity problem has reached tragic levels, they are in no danger as a recent survey has found that they are most likely simply too fat to use standard suicide techniques to end their bloated ghastly existences.

Virtual Tourism. Explore the famed Machu Puchu via Gigapixel Technology.

It seems China just can catch a break these days, First tainted pet food, then tainted toothpaste, and now fake blood too. It's just been one consumer product scandal after another lately. Goodness people are even accusing the beleaguered country of Child labour of all things! Poo poo to them I say, China is blaming foreigners for its woes. One of the firms in question has admitted to hiring children, but not to produce Olympic merchandise; the kiddies get the puff jobs in the mines. Although here is some food for thought, did you know that 90% of those ever ubiquitous Vitamin C supplements are made in China?

This is one funky cake!

I just thought this was a cool clock, I'm not sure it will alter our perception of time or anything, but it is a nifty way to visualize it.

And so the robot uprising begins, whoever would have thought that it would be the Roomba's that brought humanity to it's knees. Those cute (yet insidious), little robots that suck are insinuating themselves into homes all over world and forcing innocent families to change their cleaning habits. In a recent turn of events, there are reports that a Roomba has recently violated all 3 laws of Roombotics. Irobot, the Roomba's manufacturer, says this so called "isolated incident", should not put off people considering purchasing one of the plucky little foot soldiers of it's mechanical army.

Just when you thought you had to rely on other people for the news, now you can just go ahead and make up your own! This fun site lets you write your own article and headline then generates a newspaper stub.

The Secret life of Mr. Lee. A cats eye view of the world.

On the topic of trivia, do you know where food comes from? Well if you don't your not alone, it seems a growing number of people in Britain don't realize that food comes from a Farm. This might very well explain the plight of farmers all over the world, people just can't figure out why the heck we need them.

I always figured peeing on an electric fence would be more theatrical, but I just love the way he falls over.