Africa is a continent of despair and desperation. Here, eight year-olds toting AK-47s massacre whole villages and eccentric dictators feast on the organs of the opposition, believing it'll boost their mojo. Tsetse flies nibble on the eyelids of starving children who sport distended bellies like it's their birthright, not to mention the fact that by the time you finish reading this article, another six Africans will die from malaria, five from AIDS, and seventeen from poverty and hunger. Also, the wildlife is beautiful and the people like to dance and sing.
That's Africa, and apparently it's in desperate need of our help. Luckily, a few enlightened megastars from America and Europe have come to save it. But then again, from BandAid to Live8, what has 20 years of Aid actually accomplished for African countries other then bloat their bureaucracies? And why ever would some of these obviously needy people want nothing more then for Bono to just but out?
Talk about unclear on the concept. During a recent launch of Apples Iphone, a daring man steals...a reporters microphone. With all the buzz that the Iphone has received over that past while, it's a shame that these other innovative Apple products have been pushed to the curb.
The foundations of Hip Hop have been shaken to the core with the revelation that Hip Hop artists lip sync too! At a recent awards show on BET 50 Cent's voice tack cuts out and well...he just wanders around the stage aimlessly. I know it's crazy but I can't figure out why he didn't just finish singing the damn song. He does know the words to his own song right?
Whatever to do on a rainy day, why not conduct physics experiments in the kitchen? All you need is a microwave and way to much free time on your hands and you to can calculate the speed of light or create plasma with a simple wooden match and juice cup, or if you just happen to have some potassium chloride kicking around you can make gummi bears screeeeeeeeeam.
It's not like I'm pessimistic, but I do have the mug. More great demotivators from Despair Inc.
On an existential note, Are the laws of physics fine-tuned to support life? For instance, if gravity were just slightly stronger, the universe would have collapsed long before life evolved. But if gravity were a tiny bit weaker, no galaxies or stars could have formed. If the strong nuclear force had been slightly different, red giant stars would never produce the fusion needed to form heavier atoms like carbon, and the universe would be a vast, lifeless desert. Are these just happy coincidences? Princeton physicist Freeman Dyson has suggested that the universe, in some sense, "knew we were coming."
It seems Disney was right. It is a small world, after all.