Welcome to Alternate Reality, or more simply 'Life As I See It'. A recollection of a unique view of this order of things.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Tuesdays Morning Wood

Just for Steffen,Andy Roddick born August 30, 1982) is an American professional tennis player and a former World No. 1. He is the top-ranked American player and fourth-ranked player in the world. He finished sixth in the 2006 ATP Race.

Fit To Be Clicked
It seems that everyone's been having fun with Microwaves this week. Scientists have told us that zapping towels and sponges on high for a few minutes is like waging genocide on germs. After putting out a few kitchen blazes emergency fire services are suggesting that may not be the best thing to do. The U.S Army has come up with a novel application of microwave technology too, they're testing systems that will fry the enemy and toast a pizza pocket at the same time. No word on the long term effects of microwaving human beings are, but I'm sure it can't be good.

Ford Motor car has
lost billions...again. This should come as no surprise has the company has been hemorrhaging cash for years now. Blaming their losses on low demand for their gas guzzling behemoths, high fuel prices and stiff competition from unamerican companies that don't make gas guzzling behemoths, Ford executives assured share holders that they fully realize their business reality and are dealing with it in several creative ways including sinking even more billions into hydrogen guzzling behemoths.

Today in entertainment history: Being the first Bond Film ever to make it past Chinese censors,
Casino Royale recently opened in a thousand Chinese theaters. Moving swiftly to quell the tide of immorality that viewing such a film would surely unleash in the country, Chinese officials have advised their Olympic organisers not to act like him.

Spies just aren't what they used to be. Why is it that the astonishingly well funded intelligence programs of Coalition countries just can't seem to find and eliminate militant leaders, Taliban, etc... while BBC journalists can just
wander in for tea and do a puff piece for their Insurgent Leader of the Week column?

Have you noticed all the cute animal stories in the news lately? At the top of the list is the good news that my all time favorite animal, the Gray Wolf, is set to be declared
'No Longer Endangered'. I'd be all set to throw a Howl-in-the-face-of-extinction party if it wasn't for the fact that people just can't wait to kill them. Which may well work out for them in the long run. It turns out that spiders have been throwing Raves since forever now, and then there is Perky, the duck that just wouldn't die. Finally there is 10 other things animals do.

If you're looking to pass some time, try

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Fit to be clicked

From formalwear to chew toys, the products for pets market has been on fire lately. And has reached a new level altogether now that you're beloved pooch can enjoy a few refreshing brews with you and your chums. That's right, now fifi and fido can be an alcoholic just like daddy. Interestingly enough, they seem to be able to handle booze better then thier owners though.

Reproductive technology has made some interesting ethical strides as well, sperm from dead fathers, eggs from dead mothers, and now if your own uterus just isn't doing it for you,
you can trade it in for a previously enjoyed model. Sure it worked on mice, but this is a human issue after all. Admitedly my ethics are dubious at the best of times, I'm all for another round of flipper babies but even I think zombie babies are a touch disturbing. I just can't help but question the wisdom of giving immunosupressant drugs with warnings like, "Do not take this if you are pregnant, planning to become pregnant or if you're even planning on attending a baby shower", to women that obviously would like to do just that.

On the topic of wombs. Researchers report that both young and old, women just
can't stop getting pregnant. In thier defence nature has optimized them for the task and apparently birth control doesn't work anyway. Some girls, like the lovely lizard Flora here won't even wait for a man to do the deed, even tho Mozart the iguana seems to have serious libido issues of his own.

The big news in space is that Nasa's New Horizons probe is bearing down on its rendezvous with Jupiter where
Jupiter’s gravity will fling it into the outer depths of the solar system at a breakneck speed so that it can tell Pluto that it's been demoted.
On a slightly more upbeat note,
the moon is doomed. And for that matter so is the earth, and everything else. Cosmologists are such optimistic people aren't they? Add global warming to the mix and the future looks down right rosy. The message here folks: The grandkids are already screwed, so over-consume and enjoy life now since future generations won’t have the chance.

Proving that people will get upset over just about anything. Critics of
Uri Geller, (You know, that wacky Israeli who's superpower seems to be limited to bending spoons which has been known to inexplicably fail during live TV broadcasts), are attacking his new show 'The Successor' alleging that no real magic happens. Apparently this may damage people that think he actually can bend spoons with his mind.

Moving to the international scene, as if dealing with Bird flu wasn't enough for Chinas poultry population, now they need
watch out for the neighbors kids too.

Efforts to contain the generally
rampant crime in Mexico have gone both high and low tech. Officers in Mexico City have been implanted with RFID chips as a deterent to them being kidnapped, and in Tijuana they've taken guns away from the police and replaced them with slingshots. It may just be me, but if the police kidnappings are a problem, maybe they need guns.

The nice folks in the US homeland security 'information sharing environment' office are trying to
simplify terror alerts in a effort to speed up how long it takes alerts to actually alert people. Considering the level most of the bureaucracy seems to operate at, I suggest using Muppets.

What happens when all those little white lies you tell about your virtual self to all the virtual people out there on the Net spill out into real life? Bizarre
internet love triangles and murder apparently.

On the topic of virtual lives, the BBC is launching
virtual world for the Kiddies. While expected to be fairly similar to the other massively multiplayer online offerings, parents can rest assured that their kids are safe in this virtual oasis of childhood innocence because there are no chat rooms. That's right, those malign seedy chat rooms where the sickos hunt your babies that Nightline can't seem to stop reporting about aren't there. Of course, your child can still swap photos, browse profiles, send telegrams and share stories with pedophiles, but thank god they can't chat with them. My advice to parents? Steer clear of virtual worlds and encourage your kids to mess up their first life, before going off and messing up a second one.

Ninja Kittens take down Coca-Cola...well ninja style I guess.

Ergonomics meets 1984.This Workstation, either belongs on the space station, or in an orwellian torture chamber. I haven't been Able to figure out which.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Fit to be Clicked

The war on drugs seems to be heating up. Not satisfied with the raiding just gangs and organized crime, the DEA is now shaking down the terminally ill. I'm not sure if the DEA is somehow intimidated by real criminals or they just think the mellowed out elderly, the infirm and aids patients are an easy mark. Seeing as the DEA has so far declined to comment on the recent raids on the homes and businesses of medical marijuana activists and on the compassion clubs they support, I think they need to be reminded that Reefer Madness was not a documentary.

On the topic of smoking, Health officials are all aflutter with the news that
nicotine levels in cigarettes have been on the rise for the past 8 years. One big old 'Duh!' to them. After years of persecution from government and lobby groups, can one really be surprised that the industry retaliated by making their product more addictive then ever? But don't think more efficient smokes are necessarily a bad thing. I congratulate the tobacco companies environmental stewardship. More nicotine means you have to smoke less often to get your fix, thus reducing the risk of Cancer and taking pressure of the medical system, while at the same time lowering Carbon emissions from chain smokers helping governments meet their Kyoto commitments. This deserves an award. At least big tobacco hasn't found about this real live Tomacco yet!

In the animal world, a Chimpanzee named Teresa has had a virgin birth. While officials at the retirement home for out of work lab chimps are hesitant to call it a miracle, preferring the much more reasonable hypothesis that one of her male companions had a bad vasectomy, there really isn't evidence one way or another yet. Scientists at the reserve will be comparing DNA from the male chimps to determine who needs another snip. I can't help but wonder if Chimps are so endangered, why they are being sterilized?

Not satisfied with the current super bugs that we can't stop from killing people, scientists have revived the Spanish Flu for some odd reason. While it may be unpatriotic not to support our hard working lab animals, I think there is something a wee bit inhumane about infecting animals with a virus we already know leads to a painful death and then graphing the precise moment their lungs explode and they expire in a frothy
crimson heap.

The bright side to all this animal testing is that recently it has led scientists to
find yet another cure for cancer that won't make money because it can't be patented and thus will never be marketed by drug companies.

On the Topic of Oprah, Forbes magazine is passing off as news something that even dogs already know, Oprah is richer then God. Unless of course, Oprah is God. In which case it's just bad taste on their part to write about her that way. On the topic of Oprah and God, it seems they've had a bit of a falling out.

On the international scene, in an attempt to clean up its image after that whole genocide afair, Rwanda is scrapping the death penalty. Ironic yes, but better late then never I suppose.

Adding to the growing list of things that are bad for you, apparently your Vitamins may be too. Apples though are healthier then ever.

People have been down on SETI lately for not finding the aliens that statistically must be out there somewhere. It's heartening to know that the aliens haven't been having much luck finding us either.

One of these things is not like the others
. But it may explain why so many of us have no clue what is going on in the world.

This makes my brain hurt, but it is fun to look at.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Fit to be Clicked

Back in my university days, I opted into a great little course called The Bible in Literary Context, where my fellow students and I spent the semester decoding the good book and re-contexting it into modern English while discussing the fabulous tales therein. Patricide, murder, intrigue, orgies, bestiality, incest and rape, no subject is too taboo for the authors of this historical drama to skirt. A great many people admit they've just skimmed the great work, you know; eough to get the 'gist' of it. Having been endorsed by the Christian churches and not once recommended by Oprah's book club, it's understandable that some would think its a bit dry. During my clicking I came across David Plot's Bible Commentary Blog, which is a must read for anyone looking for the layman's lowdown on the Bible and it's funny as heck.

Suspecting a problem with my hit counter, as it seems to only move when I load the page. I hit the web looking for some explanation and found a whole
ten reasons no one reads my blog.

The Zoological Society of London has launched a very undarwinian
campaign to protect weird species. Having few close genetic relatives, these species are so evolutionarily distinct that many represent the last bud on their branch of the proverbial tree of life, much like this delicious ape. The concept of natural selection demonstrates that species become extinct for exactly this reason; because they are weird and only the most desperate examples of the species can bare to mate with each other. I'm all for bio-diversity, but this takes valuable resources away from normal endangered species that at least showed enough initiative to evolve normally and proliferate like the rest of us.

They told me fat caused heart attacks, so I cut down. Then they said carbs cause cancer, so no more midnight cookies. Then Trans-fats, coffee, truffles. One by one, all the foodstuffs that made this country great fell to the nutritionists blade. The drive to label everything unhealthy has just gone too far! Now even water is bad for you.

And of course, the news everyone's been talking about. Iraq's former benevolent dictator
Saddam and his aids swung from the gallows this month. Well, one just sort of fell right through, but two out of three isn't so bad. Reaction from around the world has ranged from severe to bemused. Iraq vehemently defends it's gallows saying that they are in accordance with international standards. Which would all be very nice, if disturbing, if there were such standards. The U.N assures us execution is a violation of human rights no matter where you live, unless you happen to be Saddam Husien.

On the topic of Iraq, the latest totals show the U.S.'s Continuing victory in the country has so far drawn in around 35,000 Involuntary Victors. Many agencies claim there are most likely many more victors that are just to modest or maimed to be counted. It is rumored that the Iraqi government, wanting to share this victory with it's close neighbors, is encouraging the U.S. to exit their country via Iran. Already concerned about this possibility Iran's government has purchased supplies from the Pentagon. No wonder sanctions never work.

This is a fun game, if you like drawing lines and maiming tobogganers. Line Rider

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Mondays Morning Wood

21 year old Brazilian hottie Rodrigo Calazans most recent achievement is fronting Terra's 'The Boys' marketing drive.

Fit to be clicked

Scientists have uncovered a novel new tool in the fight against lung cancer, a vacine that attacks tumours. While exciting news for smokers, a group of chickens with only the slightest bit of genetic encouragement now lay cancer fighting eggs. Can such helpful critters really be so bad for us? According the the U.S. FDA's logic; If you just clone them first, the issue goes away.

Just when you've burnt out your adrenal glands from years of caffeine abuse. They make
coffee even better!

Doomsday clock is on the move. Due to trivial things like, global warming, a new nuclear arms race, and worsening global relations all around, a group of so-called 'Scientists' have decided to move a broken clocks hands to another arbitrary position. While symbolic, is it any more credible then any of the other The-end-is-nye excercises out there? Once we sort through Paris Hilton and the rest of the 10,000 reasons Civilization is doomed, one sort of wonders what it is we are looking to save.

Todays weird news

Don't put your kids in the washing machine, and other things manufacturers have to warn us not to do.

What kind of wedding planner invites a buffalo?

Friday, January 12, 2007

Fit to be clicked:

The future of Cellular Kicks off with a lawsuit. Apple has defended its descision to name the newest addition to the I(insert-whatever-here) family the iPhone, pointing out that thier product is much cooler then anything Cisco could ever hope to make. Long after this clears up, the future of cell phones looks pretty cool. Historicly speaking, the future always has.

On the topic of Technology, leave it Time magazine's Person of the Year To come up with PS3 vs. Wii, Apple style.

Moving onto Politics, The US President has unveiled his administrations bold new strategy in Iraq, Which seems to include blaming Iran,
detaining it's diplomats and completely missing Al-Qaeda targets in Somalia. The new direction seems to be: I take resonsibility, but it's up to everyone else to fix it. This is not so much a bold new strategy, but a rehash of thier strategy after they pulled all of NATO into Afghanistan and then started pulling themselves out.

In todays Realty Listings:
Quiant Romanian Castle with rich historical background for sale. Come on Vlad, Renfrew already fell for that one. Although, Apparently Dracula wasn't such a bad guy after all.

Are you happy? The rest of the world seems to be content at the very least.

A long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, astronomers have observed a star cluster. Other then the fact that it is 10 times farther away then any ever observed, it is so unremarkable they most likely won't even get around to giving it a name. A bit closer to home, the Milky Ways very own supermassive black hole, Sagitarius-A has recently enjoyed bite sized snack.

Ok so it wasn't a very exciting week in the cosmos, but the big picture is awe inspiring and here are a few conspiracies from space to liven things up a bit.

Weird Stuff:

Thief steals Urinal from Pub.

Wile on the topic of strange things, I just refuse to accept
that goats climb trees.

Functional and Fasionable, it's the
Fish and flush!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

The Morning Wood:

Alexandre Despatie is a French Canadian diver. he began diving at age five (in his own backyard pool), and in the 2000 summer Olympics finished in 4th place in the 10 meter platform. Alexandre first came to public attention at the 1998 commonwealth games with an extremely impressive gold medal on the 10 meter platform.

Fit to be clicked:

Oh it is truly a dark day in the world of every 30 something who developed a speech impediment after watching a few too many Scooby Doo marathons. Iwao Takamoto, the creator of the beloved pooch died recently, begging for more Scooby snacks till the last.

Yet another study I wish someone had told me about.
Researchers have discovered that sex really is good for you, but only if your a man. There there ladies, at least the chocolate never lets you down.

Politicians from around the world are kicking off the new year round of diplomacy showcasing each countries own take on foreign relations. Canada's foreign Minister Peter McKay is wrapping up a trip to the Afghan region
where he handed out cash and clothes to just about everyone he could convince to join the local police forces. After playing Santa, he roughed up Pakistan with some tough talk on border security. Hoping to avoid any further attention from the military branch of Tim Horton's, Pakistan emptied it's jails and auctioned off a record number of 'terrorist' prisoners to the US so it could purchase a few land mines to sprinkle around its border areas.

Finally fed up with constant taunting and nuclear saber rattling from North Korea, the US has decided to send a clear message to Kim Jong Il and has
bombed Somalia for some reason. In an attempt to quell rumors surrounding the Administrations plans for Iraq, which he is set to reveal Wednesday. The US president has given us a sneak preview of the bold new direction, more of the same.

Meanwhile, The chemistry in the middle east can be described in 2 words, positively atomic. Iran's Supreme Leader; Ayatollah Ali Khamenei told off just about every one, vowing his country would
continue to pursue it's nuclear ambitions. Israeli officials were pleased with Iran's position as it justified Israel's plan to initiate its own Middle east peace plan.
After considering admitting
Polar Bears to the exclusive Endangered Species club, the US administration has continued it's efforts to woo the Green lobby and announced that it is now developing environmentally friendly Hybrid Nuclear warheads, which not only boast improved fuel economy, but also limit total devastation to a few square miles. Not to be out done by it's former cold war nemesis, Russia's entered a rocket in the new arms race too. So much from Non-Proliferation.

It's all enough to makes some people just get up and
sell their Country.

The Astronomy world was rocked by cosmic temporal vandalism. Hubble's Iconic snap of the Eagle Nebula detailing the Pillars of Creation in '95. Actually
evaporated into space after being rocked by a Supernova over 6000 years ago. As light from the mighty blast, which occurred over 7000 years ago, is just reaching earth now, if you have the time, the Eagle nebula is the place to watch for the next thousand years. Talk about network lag.

With all the press Microsoft has been getting lately, I just couln't resist posting this one. Sorry Tux.

Monday, January 08, 2007

The Morning Wood

Karl Davies, an actor from the series Emmerdale was borin in August 1982 . This 5' 9" Leo was born in Stockport, Cheshire, England, UK. Among His first film/tv projects you can find: "Stars in Their Eyes: Celebrity Special (1998)", "Fat Friends: Fat Chance (#1.2) (2000)", "Peak Practice (1993)".His later/recent projects include: "Dolphins (2006)", "Kingdom: (#1.1) (2007) "Emmerdale: The Sugden Family Album (2005)".

Fit to be clicked!

Taser Inc, has taken their marketing in a new direction. As opposed to targeting Law-Enforcement, Taser's new C3 stun gun seems to be aimed at opening up that burgeoning market of Fashionistas that just won't carry something unless it co-ordinates with the rest of their accessories. Fabulous, Fun and Flashy! Personal protection has never been so stylish. While not as lethal as a firearm, you still might manage to kill if you try hard enough. I've never been hit by one, but this vid makes it look kinda fun.

After deciding that the recent deluge of Black hole sightings just wasn't sensational anymore, our astronomers and cosmologists seem to have kicked things up a notch by creating a 3D map of the relatively local universe that notes the location of other stuff we can't see in places too far away to ever get to. While there sure is whole lot of the alleged Dark Stuff out there, the rest of the universe seems to be a fairly fluffy place. Not content with with the current mass extinction underway on earth Nasa's been pursuing another one of humanities favorite hobbies which is to seek out new life...and kill it.

Why is it that Americans like to turn nouns into verbs? Reports say that they have elected 'Plutoed' as 2006's word of the year. It takes the tiara from 2005's 'DixieChicked', which by the way is also not a word and has a strikingly similar definition. I won't come down on them for their grasp of vocabulary, but their powers of observation could use a boost. Cnn reports something the rest of the world has known for decades, New York stinks.

Bill gates has declared that this is the digital decade, and I certainly can't argue that. This is the decade that brought us the Jet Powered Beer Cooler, the Telepathic Typewriter and self cleaning underwear, and more!. Some people don't quite share his enthusiasm for technology however. Speaking of Bill, Microsoft has given us yet another reason not to buy a ford. They've partnered up and unveiled a new system that lets people's cars control their cell phones and MP3 players and gives the car the ability to download content from the internet. Sure web enabled cars sound cool, but seeing as the internets killer app is Porn, Porn, Porn and Microsofts security record sucks, sucks, sucks this does raise concerns over the family station wagon being hijacked by a pop-up and driving to undisclosed porn sites.

On the global scene, I am more and more convinced that the future of North Korea's and Iran's nuclear ambitions depend on them lightening up their restrictions on communication. If they let people use the internet, they wouldn't have to worry about the U.S. restricting their access to nuclear technology, they could just find out how to build a nuclear reactor right on the web.

Charlton Heston's neighbors are alleging that poor maintenance of a hillside bordering the two properties cause a catastrophic mudslide causing $1.2 million of damage their home. Pointing to his advancing Alzheimer's, Heston's attorneys contend that he was simply reprising his role from The Ten Commandments and that their client cannot be held responsible for biblical punishments. Similarly, A recent Mudslide in Brazil has authorities looking into the possibility suing Peru for not properly securing the Andes.

It seems that everyone that's taken ethics in school has an opinion about this whole cloned food row. I'm convinced that McDonalds scientists have been cloning Big Macs for years now, after all can you tell them apart? The FDA says you'd never be able to tell it's not Original and will allow us to create genetically superior food products. We get freaks using traditional reproductive technology. Now don't get me wrong, the science of Cloning has a lot to offer. Personally, I can't wait for the day I can affordably harvest genetically identical spare parts from my clone. I just think we should learn how to use the tools we have already before playing with new ones. The skeptics tell us our food is already too bland to make it all the same, the pessimists say its all the same anyway so what's the big deal and Consumers are just squimish about the idea in general. I say label it and let the consumer decide. On a similar topic, ethicists of dubious credentials have ruled that it is ethical to clone a human, so long as you keep it as a pet.

With all the Buzz around Oprah's new school for desperately poor African girls, I just had to share this picture:

Saturday, January 06, 2007

The Morning Wood

Eric Martsolf,born July 27, 1971 in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, is an American actor. Martsolf got his big break when he landed the role Ethan Winthrop on the NBC soap opera Passions. I'd like to hear this Leo purr.

Fit To be Clicked

There is something to be said about instant food. Today I cooked a pork loin with Brussel sprouts and rice all in under 15 minutes. Microwave ovens are geat things, speeding up cooking by completely sacrificing anything remotely resembling flavor, thus freeing up time we would otherwise use to make our food actually palatable, for more important endeavors, like blogging. :-) Do you remember when hysterical people thought that eating microwaved food was bad for you? Apparently these people are just wrong.

Microwaves aren't bad for you, it's kids that make you fat. On the topic of things kids aren't allowed to eat any more, did you realize that even cheese is bad for them now?

What year would be complete without serious sounding news anchors counting down the most dramatic events of the 12 months? I like the Kids version better. I warn you though, it's freakier then Elmo on fire.

Today Nigeria's Aviation minister sent a strong warning to a few airlines.
It would seem that apparently some airline employees are, in fact, down right rude. And he's just figuring this out now. After watching those nice folks at SouthWest put innocent commuters through traveling hell on a daily basis on A&E's reality show Airline, most people have figured out it's not a black thing. Once you take into account random kidnappings, lavishly appointed jails and disagreements over voting, at a glance rude airline employees look like the least of Nigeria's problems.

Talking about Cosmic Bling. Scientists have theorized that there may be Diamond planets orbiting something far off out there, but this week they way out did themselves and went and discovered a Diamond Star.

A bit closer to home Archeologists are using images from space to find lost ruins. While its a novel application of technology. Kudo's to them, I guess someone has to use it, but why not just used time tested clear cutting?

Here is an interesting clip I found on Youtube. Think heaven meets The Office, but not nearly as funny. It could be funny, I'll wait for the next episode to decide.

Top 5 Superpowers! Which one will you vote for?

You know that celebrity worship has gone to far when Angelina Jolie becomes the Madonna of Wal-Mart .

Todays Weird News

Man needed surgery after sex with hedgehog

(Ananova)-A Serbian man needed emergency surgery after he had sex with a hedgehog on a witchdoctor's advice. Zoran Nikolovic, 35, from Belgrade, says the witchdoctor told him it would cure his premature ejaculation. But he ended up in an operating theatre after the hedgehog's needles left his penis severely lacerated. A hospital spokesman said: "The animal was apparently unhurt and the patient came off much worse from the encounter. We have managed to repair thedamage to his penis."

Friday, January 05, 2007

The Morning Wood

Rusty Joiner, born December 11 1972, from Alabama. This Sagittarius has modeled for Prada, American Eagle and Structure underwear, he also took up acting on Boston Public, Spin City and CSI Miami, just to name a few.

Fit to be clicked

It's nice that the scientists have confirmed something that even dogs have figured out by now, that being that this year is the warmest EVER. For those that need a bit more proof then Al Gore's propaganda, 'An Inconvenient Truth', there is that small issue with chunks of Canada just up and floating away. Global warming is an issue! Beyond drowning polar bears, disappearing glaciers, the NDP and devastating weather (the unpleasantness just goes on), I've been planning a ski weekend for months and there is NO SNOW, the forecast is +9 degrees (That's Celsius folks). That's not inconvenient Al, its a bloody tragedy! The bright side of Global Warming tho is that it does seem to keep All Gore Busy.

To be fair, erratic weather does let ordinary people to step up and do heroic things. I clicked this touching story about a group of people that risked life and limb in post-Katrina New Orleans to save some canisters of frozen embryos from a drowned out hospital. All over the U.S., people are hatching them like Sea Monkeys now. I can imagine the ethical dilemma these people faced. Heroically retrieve bags of cells from cold storage or Hmm...get real people off their roofs to somewhere safe.

Then there is the cows. I feel for the cows stranded in snow dunes throughout New Mexico, Kansas and Colorado, I really do. What I don't understand is all the fuss. Beef I buy goes strait to the freezer anyway. Beef frozen right on the cow? Now that is what I call fresh!

Now that we are on the topic of what is going on in the rest of the Solar System, Those plucky Mars Rovers have just received a software upgrade that has made them smarter. While the upgrade went off without a hitch there have been complications since they realized that dust and rocks aren't that exciting. I think they would have enjoyed swimming on Titan much more.

You know, I've never really cared about whatever antics he, or even his soon to be ex-wife get up to. But for some reason I found this clip of Kevin Federline having the snot beat out him
strangely satisfying.

Todays Weird News:

Armed robber, 7, in Lego heist

(Ananova)-Police in Florida are looking for a little girl, aged about seven, who tried to steal Lego at knife-point. The girl pulled a knife on a cashier at a Wal-Mart store in Largo as she tried to walk out with two boxes of Lego. Police say the girl, aged about seven or eight, hid the toys under her coat and tried to walk out, reports Tampabays10.com. A store employee approached the child, asking her to turn over the Lego blocks. Police say the little girl then opened her jacket and pulled out a 10ins carving knife. The employee talked the girl into putting down the knife and the toys. The girl then rode away on her bicycle.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

A blog Reborn.

Whoa! What happened to Alternate Reality? Two words: Total Facelift! Ah yes after a year or so of total neglect a bit of change is good. Reincarnated with a totally new format that is actually interesting this time around, Alternate reality lives again. Drop by o check out the daily headlines, or browse the 'Today's Whatever' sections on the right to pick up a few engaging conversation starters. People might actually think you know something the next time you open your mouth at the bar. Of course I'll still inflict my pictures and laconic commentary on you, I'm sure You'd expect nothing less. :-)

So to get right to it, on to...

The Morning Wood.

The French Model, Lucas Kerr was born in 1977 and is 6'1". Not bad for
a 30Something, eh? He's graced the cover of OUT magazine and
appeared in an Absolut! Ad Campaign. My Vodka of choice + one Hot
Frenchman = Todays Morning Wood.

Moving On we have the slightly less...interactive segment that I like to

Fit to be clicked!

On the topic of weird things the French do, lets all get together and protest the Calendar, it kind of puts the recent suburban riots into perspective. I think they just like to difficult.

Top 'however many' of 'whatever' lists seems to start flying like cornflakes this time of year for some reason, check out what 2006 taught us.

Don't get me wrong, I'm as Christmassy as the next guy, but I'm glad
it's over. If you found any of these gifts under the tree, your friends may be trying to kill you or at least your children.

And there will always be Weird News...

Elderly man beats burglar with shoehorn

JUNEAU, Wis. (AP)- An elderly man fended off a would-be burglar with a shoehorn before theman invaded another home and was arrested, the Dodge County Sheriff's Departmentsaid. The man kicked in the door of an elderly couple's home in Lebanon about 1 a.m. Monday, demanded money and threatened to shoot them, the sheriff's department said in anews release. But the husband, who is in his 80s, beat the man around the head with a long shoehorn, forcing him from the home. The intruder and another man then committed another home invasion in the Oconomowoc area and were arrested in Waukesha County, the release said.The Dodge County District Attorney's Office is reviewing the matter for potential charges. "This is one of those crimes that a lengthy sentence just doesn't do justice," Sheriff Todd Nehls said of the Lebanon incident. "The torment and anguish will be with them forever."

You have to wonder who the Sheriff is referring to in that last
sentence... Being beaten up by gramps isn't going to earn them much cred
in jail. I do know that people fending off robbers really isn't so weird,
but the guy's got balls.