Welcome to Alternate Reality, or more simply 'Life As I See It'. A recollection of a unique view of this order of things.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Fit to Be Clicked

With the Oscars behind us for another year, we can now move on to obsessing about things other then who got what and who was wearing whom. But before we put all that behind us one has to wonder what we got out of all the sweat, tears and explosions of last years crop of cinematic excellence. To help you along, here is a list of all time favorites that you probably didn't get right either.

It was OK when cats got a show on Broadway, but when they get their own reality TV show one has to wonder if they are really trying to take over the world.The Meow-mix house is beyond adorable tho.

The inevitable robot uprising aside, I understand building robots to do our work for us, but when we start building them to play for us, that's just plain lazy.

This was too good, A woman in Washington taught her children how to fake being retarded so that she could collect social assistance on them and then got busted when her son applied for a drivers license. Speaking of retarded, scientists researching Downs syndrome have been experimenting with making mice retarded to test a drug that makes retarded people smarter and promises to alleviate the learning disabilities and other intellectual impairment in those afflicted with the condition. They tinkered around with mice to make them 'special', (and I do mean that in the Olympic sense), and saw a dramatic improvement in the ability of mice to navigate around a maze when given the drug, whose effects can linger for several months. While they are hoping to start human trials soon, anyone who made it through their high school reading list already knows how this ends! Now granted, I doubt it would turn the 'otherly abled' into geniuses, but at the same time if ignorance is bliss why heighten their awareness of their limitations? All I have to says is just leave some flowers for Algernon.

Healthy self esteem or burgeoning megalomaniacs? According to a new study, today's kids think they are oh so special. Of course they do! Most of us grew up in in environments where we were browbeaten relentlessly with our specialness to ensure we grew up with a positive self image and we do the same with kids today. That was considered good parenting in the 80's and 90's. This really devalued specialness, now that everyone is special the truly special people kinda go unnoticed. The only winners seem to be the Olympic special, who are happy as clams to be 'special' without knowing precisely what that means. Until we give them the drugs that is, and they figure exactly how special they are.

This is kinda creepy, it's the Manchurian Pigeon! Scientists in China have developed a system that allows them to control pigeons by remote control. I'm not sure what the practical applications of remote control birds would be or what they did to the pigeon to get it to co-operate but it strikes me as a more sophisticated attempt at Operation Acoustic Kitty.

The U.S. military has been having more and more problems getting a handle on security in Iraq. Sure manpower is tight and properly equipping the troops has always been an issue, but heck now they aren't even training them. Military brass assures us that despite the lack of dessert training, they'll get along just fine. And we wonder why things are gong downhill over there.

This is a freaking' cool picture! Its of a tungsten needle taken with an Ion Microscope. It's kinda freaky that those round things are actual atoms.

You to can now prepare your family for annihilation my terrorists with this handy guide put together by our American friends in Homeland Security. The signs are a bit obscure, but our other friends at SafeNow have decoded them for us. My favorite is 'If your building collapses crawl under a table and do yoga'

Another amusement for work. Try to eat this pie in as few bites as possible. The best I did was 16.

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