Welcome to Alternate Reality, or more simply 'Life As I See It'. A recollection of a unique view of this order of things.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Fit To Be Clicked

I found this science/biology story kinda nifty, just because I didn't think that any complex animal was able to pull off a regeneration on this scale, however the lowly yet biologically advanced sea squirt can regenerate itself from the smallest bit of blood vessel.

There have been a lot of animal stories floating around in the news lately actually. Have you ever wondered how Buddhists handle a fire ant infestation? Non violently of course, however that doesn't mean that some other less enlightened soul can't take care of the problem for them. From here, it just gets down right kinky. For instance, Did you know that there is a sperm bank for dogs? Or that Gorillas gave us crabs? How does one retrieve a hamster from a 4 inch hole? You suck it out. China is appealing to Biomechanists the world over to design a prosthetic leg for a Giant Panda so that she can finally get laid. And lastly, proving that perversion really is part of nature, spiders use butt plugs.

There has been no shortage of kink in the human news lately either. There was this gentleman that found out the hard way that there are some things that just don't belong in your bum, especially when flying. And Israel has had to let go of its 2nd ambassador to El Salvador for unbecoming conduct. The latest one was found drunken and bound, dressed only in the scantest of S&M gear.

On a related note, have you ever wondered why men pass out after sex? It seems that we're evolutionarily optimized for it.

Moving onto politics, does the American administration have an image problem? President bush recently kicked off a tour of Latin America to reach out to impoverished peoples who promptly ritually cleansed the ground he walked on shortly after his visit.

The Battle of Helmsdeep with Gummi Bears. Here is someone else that has way to much time on their hands. But they get points for creative interpretation.

Last year, Viacom paid 62 million dollars to its exiting CEO for doing a terrible job and posted a fair loss due to flagging revenues. Now it seems they are hoping to float their company (with what I'm sure is soon to become a cottage industry), by suing Youtube/Google.

It's hottttt in Topeeeekaaaaaa... and apparently inside Enceladus as well. On the topic of space, the ESA has released some funky new animations that are bound to pique the interest of extreme adventure tourists. Ever wanted to hang glide on Mars?

Freedom of expression is one of those rights that always seems to clash with some peoples delusion that we have the right to walk through life and never be offended. But it also sets up an interesting double standard. Pope Benedict recently reiterated the Catholic Church's stance of abortion, Gay marriage, divorcees and inappropriate music of all things, and this was greeted with barely a low rumble from activist groups. However, while side stepping the divorce and abortion issues, when U.S General Peter Pace expressed his personal view that homosexuality is immoral, it set off a flurry of condemnation and demands for apology. Now while I'm no fan of homophobia and I disagree with them both, it must be said that I would never apologize for expressing my twisted shameless views, so I can't see why either of them should. What makes a society free is the ability to express your thoughts and ultimately add your 2 cents to the great ideological debate that shapes a society.

On the topic of people that don't like gays, you may remember that a while back I gave some kudos to NBA'er Tim Hardaway for at least being upfront about his big Gay issues. Well I take it all back, the nansy-pansy apparently no longer hates gay people. Now he says he loves gay people and just wants them to give him a second chance. Tim, you're a looser. If you're going to let loose a spiteful rant on national TV, then at least have the courage to stand by your convictions.

Banana's fund terrorism! That's right, every time they went to the grocery store and bought those nutritious fruits, housewives and soccer moms all over the continent were clandestinely funding violent terrorist organizations in Columbia. The Chiquita company has been paying Leftist rebels and far-right paramilitary groups protection money for years and is now paying a hefty 25 million dollar fine for it. Whoever would have thought that the ubiquitous and innocent Chiquita banana was really a Blood banana!

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