Welcome to Alternate Reality, or more simply 'Life As I See It'. A recollection of a unique view of this order of things.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Fit to be Clicked: The Valentines Day Edition

Love it or hate it, Valentines day is descending upon us in a flurry of kinky toys and heart shaped chocolates. I think the whole thing is a load of hooey myself, dreamed up by under appreciated housewives and marketing execs to have us show our love the best way how. Nothing says I love you better then spending wads of cash on flowers, restaurants, kidneys and lets not forget the aforementioned kinky toys. The list goes on and on, and if you don't happen to have a honey at the moment, you can always pick up something nice for that special cat or dog in your life.

Overwhelmed by the thought of showing affection? Lovingyou.com comes to the rescue with this handy guide to the Day-o-Love.

A pair of Neolithic skeletons were dug up in Rome recently, it seems that they were buried together in an embrace that's lasted over 5000 years. Officials have announced that their eternal embrace won't be interrupted when they are moved for further study. That's a love that's lasted forever, unlike the much publicized astronaut love triangle that's been floating around the news of late. Remember tho, in space no one can hear you moan.

If your looking to do something special with your sweetheart this year, try breaking this new world record.

From what I can tell from all the buzz, the modern Valentines Day is about two things; chocolate (dark is better) and prescription free chemically enhanced sex. Preferably both at the same time. So it's not surprising that kinky toys and aphrodisiacs are flying off the shelves. Nothing spices things up like toys toys toys. However, there are a few things you might want to know about so called aphrodisiacs. Before you all run off and set the vibrator on Stun, remember that safer sex is better sex. Leave it to the BBC to tell us how to wrap it up in every way imaginable.

Now set the mood with these Top 5 Cheesy Love songs and some of these foods made for lovin'.

Ah yes, and don't forget to pick up a suitably amorous card. Whatever you do just make sure its not any of these unfortunate valentines. Hysterical as they may be, these Ecards from The Onion might not go over any better.

There is no such thing as a guilt free snack for this guy. He's asking to go to jail over the sinful treat. We all know about blood diamonds, but isn't blood chocolate pushing it?

Are you worried that your heart might be two sizes too small? Find out at Livescience.

Researchers have shed a bit of light on why women like to sleep with hot guys but don't marry them. They think it's because hot guys might not make the best parents and thus doom themselves to life with average guys who hopefully can't do much better either. Other research shows that it's nature that decides who can and can't keep their genes in their pants.

All of the Valentines Day fun is not only for the blissfully joined however, if you've found yourself unhappily uncoupled this year there is a great deal you can do as a bitter unloved single as well.

Love, lust and Loyalty. Find out how you stack up with this steamy survey!

Kick of the lascivious fun now with these Valentines themed games.


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